My best friends ex husband has let their just turned 7 year old walk to the shops...?

Question

alone which included crossing the road (without lights or a zebra crossing) and walking 2-3 blocks in a fairly busy area. He gets the kids every fortnight. She is very upset becasue of road safety and someone grabbing him. Ex says that he is teaching him "self confidence". He has also left them both (the other is 5) at home alone when he goes to the video shop or pizza shop. What can she do?

Answer 1

First of all she needs to lovingly tell him that it is illegal to leave children under the age of 12-14 (depends on what state) at home alone. (I say lovingly because guys don't respond to someone being angry or yelling.) She needs to make that very clear to him and back it up with repercussions if necessary.

Next if he insists on letting the child go to the stores etc. then suggest a buddy system (older buddy recommended) and make sure the children understand the responsibilities of being a buddy and what to do in case of a stranger approaching and looking both ways before crossing streets. This should help build confidence and safety. Explain to the Dad that it's good to want this for the child but that it is the safety of it that's bothering you.

On your(the mom's) part you can build confidence in your child by taking walks (in busy areas and in not so busy areas) and let your child have the opportunity to say if it's safe to cross the street or not. This gives you more confidence in your child.

Tip.. you also need to realize that kids walk to school everyday in every area... Up to a mile each way. It is our responsibility to teach our kids some form of independence by the time they are required to do this.
Another thing that might help is knowing the neighborhood well and the people in it. Greet the people in the local business' and residents on the streets the child would have to walk down. If my child knows safe places along the way and I know there are other people looking out for my child it would make me feel a whole lot better.
Buddy system and illegal to leave children home alone at their ages... stick to this. It is very important.

She should also ask that the court require him to take parenting classes and follow up with his progress.
Another thing, pull the area's criminal statistics...how many registered sex offenders in that area, child obductions, # of brake-ins, armed robberies, rape cases, etc then show it to him. That alone is enough to scare me.

If after all this he still insists on endangering his children then I say he can take the punishment for Knowingly putting them in harms way. I would call child protective services on him and/or your attorney. I believe the terms are "child endangerment" and "neglect of a dependant". Good Luck to your friend and to you in helping her.

Answer 2

well in 2007 there are a lot of 7 year old kids that are too mature for their age because of parents threating kids like adults.In the process the child will grow up too fast and the parents will suffer. They will wonder why the child cant be controlled and its because they act like adults. If he is trying to teach self confidence to a 7 year old he will get self confidence. By the time that child is maybe 15 he will act like a adult and all the problems that comes along with having a "Too Grown Child" or a adult thats a teenager.


What I'm trying to say is let a kid be a kid. Walking alone going anywhere at age 7 is dangerous because of all the predators lerking looking for kids just like him. A child that is 7 can't protect himself from a kid his age, better yet, a predator that might want him for any reason.

Most people that kids have gotten kidnapped say its a neighbor, a friend, a person that walked among them. Not always a stranger. The world is dangerous and kids need their parent or some one to look after them.

The father is not going to stop. So teach the kids
*Never answer the phone while parents are gone (that will let people know their alone at the house)
*always lock the door and don't answer if some one knock while parents are gone (parents have a key, so kids should'nt come to the door at all)
*kids should'nt be left with flamable objects to avoid fire
*by memory they should know every phone number in case of emergency.

if a child is not capable of remebering important phone number they are not capable of being alone.

Answer 3

I think walking to the shops is probably ok. The child surely knows STRANGER DANGER!, if not, what's his Mom been doing?
But leaving the older with the younger with 2 years apart, I feel that's too much responsibility for such a young person.
I would suggest the Ex be called at the pizza shop with an "emergency", to see how fast he made it home. Sort of a training exercise. (pls let the ex. know what is going to happen)
When the Ex, sees how fast time goes by, perhaps he will understand what he is doing.
(It's always better to let the guys figure it out on their own, or you are always telling them what to do.)

Answer 4

I don't know where this guy lives but here in the states leaving a 5 and 7 year old home alone for any reason is against the law.

Answer 5

Teaching a child self confidence is great. Leaving children home alone is not, and I believe is illegal in every state. Next time this happens call the police when this is going on---not after the fact.

Answer 6

A 7 twelve months previous with emotional issues desires counseling. are you able to take her to a counselor who can help her artwork out her issues? so a strategies as disciplining is going, if she intentionally is going everywhere lower back devoid of your permission, the logical results of it fairly is to do away with that privilege. i.e. not greater using the bus till she would be in a position to be depended on. Take her to and from college or pay a chum to do it. A 7 twelve months previous could journey no different bus on my own different than a school bus, besides. if that's the college bus, confer with the driving force so it would not take place lower back. tell him to not enable her off the bus everywhere different than at her own provide up. you're a stable individual to tackle this duty. It isn't basic till the toddler feels risk-free and pleased with you...that only takes time. i wouldn't enable her use a foul mouth, the two. only tell her that for the period of your place that style of language isn't allowed. If she makes use of it, you will self-discipline her. she will have the means to be despatched to her mattress and given a e book to envision, yet not be allowed to do something for an hour every time she misbehaves. I do wish you detect her a counselor, in spite of the indisputable fact that. commence with the help of asking the counselor at her college for preparation.

Answer 7

Uhhhh call her lawyer. I would have already done this if I were her. Sorry, but nobody is going to endanger my baby's life not even some idiot that he calls daddy. if he is stupid enough to leave a 7 and 5 year old home alone he doesn't need to have visitation with them. I'd be calling my lawyer tomorrow and setting a court date.

Answer 8

If something horrible happens to those little children there is no going back and undoing whatever stupid thing this moron did to cause it.....

She needs to act fast and get the attorney involved if she can't make the numbskull protect his own children in the normal way.

Answer 9

Wow. Times have changed, I used to walk to the store and walk to school, etc at that age. Busy streets included.

Answer 10

get a lawyer and organise supervised access and maybe he will realise it is not 20 years ago when it was safe to do this. 7 year olds do not have peripheral vision so cannot see out the edges of their eyes to see all the traffic.