Ok basically I have found the one. She's perfect in every way. The problem is me. I can't trust her for some reason, and I always cause stupid fights because I'd rather break up with her than she break up with me, so anytime I have even the slightest hint she wants to break it up, which she doesn't, it's just my head, I break it up, and she cries. I am putting this girl through hell, and myself. I have been hurt really bad in the past, so that might be why I'm so afraid to get hurt again, but I don't know what to do. I know if I want to fix it I should just stop, but I can't ackkk any advice on how to just trust the relationship will work, to have faith? I would really appreciate, remember I am a real person I know I'm just some question on yahoo but this is really affecting my life so plz if you have any advice on how I can be a better boyfriend please tell me, anything would help. I just want to be able to not cause fights every couple days I hate it... please... thank you...
2006-10-03 17:13:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Try this: work on getting confidence in yourself back. This can only be done in developing interests--perhaps a career, if you haven't done so already--and pursuing them to a degree that it becomes A SINCERE PASSION
For starters, this will take your mind off of your real or imagined fear that she wants to break up.
Secondly, she will SEE this passion and THAT IS SEXY.
Finally, should this relationship eventually not work out, you NOW have newfound interests.
Good Luck
2006-10-03 17:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by Hayseedless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear you sound like you have self esteem issues, you cant have a good relationship if you dont have a good opinion about yourself. Just give a little, dont break up with her cause you think she is going to break up with you, be nice to her and be a gentlemen. Be yourself but dont look down on yourself. Is there something you dont like about yourself if so change it. You are taking it out on her and it isnt fair to her. If you have been hurt in the past by someone and that is making you do this you have to remember she is a totaly different person than before, you have to give her a chance if she didnt want to be with you then she wouldnt keep coming back.
2006-10-03 17:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. My boyfriend does the same thing. All I had to do was look him in the eye and tell him that I wouldn't give up on him( Although I did this for the first two years or so of our relationship). These things take a tremendous amount of time, you just cannot give up. If you know that she is the one for you, then don't give up on this wonderful thing that you have with her. Im know she loves you, I love my boyfriend. Just think of that fact when you feel that way you do or feel a fight coming on. I wish you the best of luck. I know you will get through this okay.
2006-10-03 17:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by ~jenn~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got it. You know she is the one, because you truly feel you cant find anyone better. Which means you think the world of her. Being that you have placed her so high in your thoughts. Somewhere inside you feel that she could or should have someone better. "your self esteem" is too low. You feel like you kind of have a too good to be true deal going, and you are just waiting on reality. You think it just cant last so you are sitting around waiting on the end. Relax. just sit back and smile. Remember the time you were hurt, and "USE" that to help you appreciate every day you have with this girl. Now she will mean more to you, than she would have, and perhaps you deserve her more now. And when you picture yourself, think of yourself as the type of person that "SHE" would be in love with, and use it for strength. good luck, and dont blow it.
2006-10-03 17:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by Aaron S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, my advice is to tell her exactly what you're saying here. If you don't, you leave it to her imagination why you're acting so bipolar about the relationship, and at some point she'll decide to get off the roller coaster.
However, if you be vulnerable and honest about this with her and ask for help in dealing with this, I promise she'll understand and it will only strengthen things between the two of you.
But hold nothing back. Tell her your pain, tell her how you see the past affecting you, tell her you love her, tell her you want to work through it together....you want to work the problem, not cause her pain. This kind of emotional vulnerability and honesty are hallmarks of great relationships.
2006-10-03 17:19:41 · answer #5 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you two are having communication issues, I know it sounds crazy but if I didn't spend at least a half an hour a day on the phone with my g/f making sure that all of our feelings were out on the table, we'd fight about really petty stuff. If you really think this relationship is worth salvaging, its something the two of you need to MAKE TIME for. I hope this helps =)
2006-10-03 17:20:17 · answer #6 · answered by Kevin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl has never done a thing to have you so paranoid and thinking that she wants to leave you. So why allow what happened to you in the past affect your future? If you truly need help, then talk to your girlfriend about you going to see a councelor or someone who you feel you can confide in to help you get over the ordeals of the past. It's good to keep it in mind, but do not let it rule over your future.
2006-10-03 17:51:21 · answer #7 · answered by Maico 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in an exceptionally small city and extreme college became into have been each and every of the activity became into different than for procuring decrease than the impact of alcohol and making out. I even did a number of that at school. LOL it is not common to have self assurance I survived extreme college and that i became into an "A" student. college is have been females have been and have been I performed soccer so I had a blast. It did not harm that by potential of the time i began out extreme college my Dad had supply up eating (He became into between the worst alcoholics I even have ever seen) . mom became into nonetheless a discomfort yet Dad and that i became superb friends, So i assume my view of my extreme college years is slightly biased. the college Dances have been great activities in a small city that had one movie teach with only one show, no speedy nutrition eating places and no department stores. We did not get Rock concert activities coming interior of one hundred fifty miles so i did not see my first stay stay overall performance until eventually I went away to varsity until eventually you count extensive type community bands enjoying on the Dances.
2016-10-15 12:09:23 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really think that she is the one than you should ask her this question, sit down and tell her how you feel about her and what you 're putting her through. If she really cares about you she'll listen and try to help you make this relationship work. If that doesn't help maybe you should get some counseling.
2006-10-03 17:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by Desperate Housewife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is with you not her. You have to build up trust in yourself before you can build it in the relationship. Stop being afraid to lose this girl or it will show and you will lose her. Just show her your respect for her and your relationship. Good Luck
2006-10-03 17:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋