I have a 17 year old son and lately he hasnt been going to school because he just wont get up. I ask him over and over try to pull him up but it just doesnt do anything. Also he LOVES the computer so when he doesnt go to school he doesnt get the computer,cd player,or anything. But he doesnt seem to mind. The school is calling me wondering why he isnt coming to school and all i can say is he just wont. My son also has some what of a learning disabilty and has sudical thoughts and uses them when he doesnt get his way. Please help. Conseling has been used but he acts like theres nothing wrong with what he is doing. HOW CAN I GET HIM TO SCHOOL.
2006-10-03 16:45:15 · 32 answers · asked by Classic Blonde Bombshell 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You can't force him at 17 to go to school ... sorry. :( However, you can kick him out of the house, and/or take away his computer and all his "stuff". Good Luck! :)
2006-10-03 16:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 3⤊ 6⤋
At this age you can not force him to go, try to find alternatives to traditional high school to offer him vo-tech, charter, virtual on line, apprenticeship programs. He doug his heals in at the right time because by now he knows the schools can not do anything about it as he's aging out of the system and time is on his side now. When you say 17 just how close is he to 18, 3mo? 4 mo? I'm sure he's just not 17 that is why many school systems can do nothing nor parents because by the time everyone can put in all their efforts he turns 18 and walks anyway, another possibility is he goes to school but gets suspended, fails etc. on purpose.
2006-10-04 00:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm 16 and I went through the EXACT same thing last year. From the thoughts to not going to scholl and the counseling. If he's a bright kid (and I'm not saying he is or isn't I don't know him) He'll come around. For me, I took the second semester of last year off and just needed time to myself without someone up my a$$ to sort through my own stuff. It's a lot more stressful to be a teenager now and to go to high school now than it used to be. Let him be. If he's a bright kid he'll realize what he's doing and fix it. Also if you back off of him he'll come around sooner because there's not so much pressure on him to do it. Don't step out of his life, but it's his life... let HIM live it and make his choices. That's what I did and I wish I hadn't but I had to learn that for myself... adn so does he. Hope I helped and good luck!
2006-10-03 16:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Cutie_wit_a_booty_08 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I started therapy at 17 and I am 39 now and have had over 24 therapist that did not help me. My first therapist was Father John Rossen who was the priest at the Catholic school I attended he only made me worse. I left school and that is when I had my first suicide attempt. Since my family on both sides are radical Catholics they didn't even care that he damaged me. They picked him over me.The vessel that contained me for nine months even invited him and his parents to my graduation party. Maybe you could try a psychiatrist, not a therapist. I have not cut myself in five months but the therapist knew I was doing it, so did my husband and my friends. No one did squat. I have made several suicide attempts and no one cares. That is why I have a crappy attitude. Your son may need to be on medication for a chemical imbalance or depression or even both. Go to the site
www.yourtimeforchange.com
I am going to go there because I have been so damaged by my former radical dysfunctional family.
2006-10-03 17:03:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear this of your son. But, it seems to me that he might be having some problems at school. He might be getting bullied around or threatened in some way. For what reason would he feel suicidal? You must sit and talk with your son in a serious but calm manner. Get down to what is really bothering him. And anyone who is claiming suicidal is a cry for help. Good luck and I hope it works out with you and your son.
2006-10-03 17:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by Melly Mel mother of four 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you just talk to him about it, and use the right tactics. Catch him when he's in a relatively good mood, and make sure you remain calm and very serious. That's what your really need to do: Impress upon him just how serious of a matter this is. Don't either get angry or try to implore him, because both will give him a sense of superiority over you, which you can't allow. You must remain the master, at least for the moment. If you do this properly, and he has any conscience at all, he should start doing SOMETHING, at least.
2006-10-03 16:49:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe there are things happening at school that you or the teachers dont know about. Like teasing, bullying, or something else of the sort. Maybe he's too embarassed to say something, if you are serious about your sons education, maybe bring up the idea of transferring schools so he could have a new start at school. Just an idea.
2006-10-03 18:14:17 · answer #7 · answered by isk8 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you can do is call a juvenile detention center and explain the problem to them...I'm sure a deputy would be more than happy to come and take him to the alternative ....and I bet you he decides to choose school--explain to your son that YOU can go to jail for him not attending school. Or-look into an alternative school where they are on computers all day,and still graduate with a diploma--it's either that, or he get a FULL time job .
2006-10-03 16:52:04 · answer #8 · answered by jakkibluu 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to have a Dr. Phil moment with your son. Talk to him about the not going to school issue then ask, "How's that working for you?" or "How's that going for you?" See if there is a specific issue going on at school that makes him not want to go to school.
Is it possible he is being bullied? Kids with disabilities (whether it is physical or a learning disability) have to cope with bullies even more than the students with no disabilities. Is it possible that the news reports about recent shootings at schools has him too scared to go to school? If he won't talk to you, get him to someone he WILL talk to. This is serious- you do not want to end up in court because he doesn't go to school. Depending on where you live, YOU could end up in jail because of it. I KNOW it is difficult, but I know you can get him through this. I wish you the best.
2006-10-03 16:56:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have a sheriff come and talk to him or let him watch a Child Boot Camp video/dvd...threaten him you'll send him there. He obviously needs a good kick in the butt. Unfortunately for you, he's still a minor and the school can turn you over to Child Protective Services for educational neglect and press charges against you. Protect yourself and be as resourceful as possible for your son's sake too.
2006-10-03 16:52:51 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa W 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Does your school district not have a truant officer? Call the school, tell them your problem. They should send an officer to get him.
In my mind, instances like this call for tough love. Like, move out and get a job kind of tough love.
Are you a single mother? If not, why is your husband not helping. What does he do all day. I had a student once who got suspended and he was given chores galore. He never was suspended again. You have to make school more attractive than home.
2006-10-03 17:17:27 · answer #11 · answered by Beth M 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋