My best friend revealed to me that shes cutting herself. I dont know what to do. Help..?

Question

Shes my best friend. I wish she wouldve talked to me about her problems instead of resorting to this. I tried explaining to her that cutting herself isnt resolving her problems. But she assures me that she isnt angry with anyone. She has also tried to comit suicide about 2 years ago. I thought she was done hurting herself. This just started about 2 weeks ago. Help Please.

Shes only 13 years old. *

Answer 1

First off, I really admire your desire to help your friend with her cutting. It is a difficult issue- I know because I have been there myself, and have 2 of my best friends who are dealing with it right now too, and it is heartbreaking to go through this with them. It is extremely important for her to not go through this alone, so just continue to be there for her. It's really good that she's told you about it. A lot of people don't tell anyone for years. She tells you that she isn't mad at anyone, and that might be true, but there's obviously something wrong that would drive her to harm herself in this way. Having you in her life to listen and care will hopefully be a sort of release for her. For me, I had a friend who was willing to listen when I was struggling with cutting, and she was kind of an accountability partner that I could talk to about it without feeling like she was judging me. Of course, I sometimes told her after I had done it, but it still helped to talk about it. If she's open to it, maybe encourage her to try her luck with a counsellor. They really know what they're doing and know how to handle these situations. Another thing that helped me to ultimately beat my problem (as well as eating disorders and dysfunctional relationships i was in at the time) was my belief in God. Other than that close friend I already mentioned, I didn't tell anyone about what was going on, which caused me to kind of withdraw. Luckily, I was smart enough to go to God about it though with my pain and frustration. He is without a doubt the most important thing in my life and I couldn't have come out of that time without HIm. I can't explain how He helped my through, but He did and I give Him all the credit. I don't know if your friend or you are Christians or not, but I hope you will consider trying out a good Christian church (if you don't already), reading a Bible (in a translation you can understand like "the Message"), going to a youth group where you'll find lots of loving people and support, and really praying about everything (which is just talking to God like you would your very best friend). He loves you both, He's got a plan for your friend, He wants to help her and He's waiting. He'll also give you wisdom if you ask for it for how you can be there for your friend. Reach out to Him, He won't let you down! Keep being there for her. Bless you, and I'll be praying for you both :)

Answer 2

Self injury is not something a person does because they are angry with anyone. It is usually done when someone cannot cope with the feelings they are experiencing.

When a person self injures (self harms) the physical pain replaces the emotional feelings providing relief in the form of pain they can see as opposed to the "invisible" feelings.

It took a great deal of courage for your friend to reveal to you that is self harming. You are right that cutting is not helping her resolve her issues, but it is a valid coping method because she is still alive. Encourage open conversation with her, let her know she can talk to you about cutting, but also gently encourage her to seek help from a trained counsellor, teacher, social worker, parent, neighbour. Perhaps you could speak to someone for her, or even go with her to talk to someone to provide support.

There are many sites on the Internet that you can also take a look at, this is the one I would recommend:

http://www.siari.co.uk/

Wishing you and your friend all the best...

Answer 3

Hey sweety,
the best thing to do is help her as much as possible. But you have to remember that cutting your self is a TRUE DISEASE. It's happens to alot of people( wether they fess up to it or not ) If you know her parents and you think that they will help rather then hinder her or make it worse should I say then tell her parents but if you think her parents will react badly then tell someone else that she is close to ( an adult ) that you think will not judge her but help her. And her cutting herself is not resolving her problems but it does make her feel better at the time of doing it.( I've been there) She'll get over it but she does need help just make sure it's the RIGHT kind of help. And don't ever belittle her for doing it, it will only make it worse. Don't ever leave her either. She needs you alot right now. I hope I helped you take care now!~

Answer 4

Cutting is a major deal, NO topic if it is a few times. One time becomes 2, 2 becomes 3, after which it will get into greater numbers. If she is that younger and already commencing this, it is simply gonna worsen as time progresses. I could inform a college counsiler, or a relied on grownup, and preserve it in individual so she does not realize who instructed approximately her mystery. It's no longer a healthful addiction and you're doing her a desire in teh longer term.

Answer 5

She must really trust you to tell you now.
she has probably been abused so much that she can not get to angry--to her it is of no value to get angry--no one listens to her anyway.
that is what you can do for her-let her know that you are there for her, that you will listen .
do that and don't judge. hold her and allow her to grieve. it is most likely the thing she has not been able to do. she feels worthless and hurts inside-cuts herself to feel physical pain instead of emotional pain. she does it as a last result.
this did not start 2 weeks ago.you became aware of it 2 weeks ago maybe-she tried to kill herself 2 YEARS ago.
you may be the only one she feels comfortable enough with to tell. it may be tough, but incourage her to talk about what happened in the past-you don't need to explain or counsel-just listen and accept her.

Answer 6

I would seriously question the anger issue. Do you know that
anger is depression turned inward? How old is she? This stuff
usually starts in the early 20's & it starts with a deep need inside.
Usually mostly teens do this, but I started in ny 43th year - I could imagine doing stupid things.

This is a cry for help, . You need to undertand his is all about control here & that the blood satisfys a need emotionally that
no one else can supply.

Answer 7

First, I would say that by her having told you about it,as opposed to you noticing the marks, she is most definitely asking for help.
GET IT FOR HER! Tell her parents or someone else in her family. They need to know! You are not betraying her trust by trying to help her! If there is no one available in the family capacity, you need to get her to a professional who has experience with cutters.
The best friend that you can be is the one that knows that you cannot handle this on your own! Trying to handle it is admirable, but not the right course of action.
Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 8

Thats a cry for help. Listen to her non-judgmentally and work on how you can address her concerns. Suggest a counselor.

BUT, you have to tell someone in her family about what you observe so that someone can watch her. She is possibly a high-risk suicidal person.

Answer 9

Is there anyone else who should know about this? She's reaching out to you for help, so try to find a parent or professional that can help her cope with these urges and control them.

Answer 10

Isn't that bordline personality disorder? Watch Patch Adams.