Please help, My 8year old daughter is out of control!?

Question

It is really hard these days to like my girl. I will always love her there is no doubt there, but latley her attitude has been awful. I catch her in little lies, she is always mouthing off to me, and then When I ask her about it 9times outta 10 she says nobody likes me. I fell really bad baout this b/c I am always questioning my parenting! I need some good advise please someone anything????

Answer 1

Ok let me be honest first... I'm 16 so take this advice or don't. For one, Don't question your parenting kids can tell when a parent feels insecure about something and a lot of times will try and take control of the situation. 2: I would assume that since she's 8 she's also in school. Does she have friends in school? Does she get along with the other kids and have friends to hang out with at lunch and recess? A lot of times the reason a child acts out at home has nothing to do with the home life the same way as when a child acts out at school it usually has nothing to do with their school life. Try and talk to her when she's in a good mood about school and see if that strikes a bad mood. If it does, try having a sit down conversation with her teacher without her knowing so she doesn't get embarrased adn she how she is at school. Also make sure she knows it's wrong. You won't be able to fix the problem until you find out what it is but you can start by making sure she knows it's wrong and punishing her. Once you find the exact problem the answers will come to you.

Answer 2

I feel for you. My 15 year old daughter was out of control starting at age five. She is still a challenge, but like many others have said, the key is to lay down some rules and stick to them. I can't stress enough the importance of follow through. I work with out of control adolescents at a psychiatric facility and the most commone theme I see is that the parents make empty threats and almost always cave in and give the kids their way to make life (at least temporarily) more peaceful.

I don't agree that she needs spanked. I think you take away things that are important to her. For instance, my daughter loved tv, so when she was rude, she lost tv for at least half her allotted time (she only gets one hour/day on school days). I think the thing that worked best was to make her go to bed early. She might lose 15, 30, or even 60 minutes of her evening by being sent to bed early for inappropriate behavior. This was especially helpful because her older sister would be up and it just killed her to be the only one going to bed early.

As she has gotten older, I've made her earn any money she gets. If she keeps her room clean and helps with chores, she gets allowance. If she doesn't, then she gets no money on the weekend.

I love her too, but boy has she been a challenge! I think the number one thing for you to think of right now is that it is critical that you get her under control while she is still young. It will be much harder once she is a teen and is physically less controllable.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

I too have this problem, my daughter will be 8 next month. I think that it is a phase that they go through, kinda like the terrible 2's. I think they should call it the Exausting 8's. My daughter i like this, always making up stories about kids on the school bus and at school. I think that there really is nothing that can be done about it. Just love her and talk to her ask her how her day was, and just spend time with her. I think that it will o away on its own if you do not make a big deal out of it!

As for your parenting, NEVER EVER question yor parenting! We raise our kids the best that we can with what little we got! As we grow with them, we are learning too. They never said that parenting was easy, and kids DO NOT come with an instruction manual. I KNOW that I am reaising my kids well, and I never second guess myself. I am sure that you are doing everything just fine.

There may be a friend at school that they are tring to impress or something of that nature. I really have no other explanation for these types of behaviors. Just be patient like I said and spend time with her, if you have any younger kids, it could be an issue of jelousy, I have thought of that for my daughter. She was 5 years old when her brother was born, she was JEALOUS and still seems to be. Either way good luck to you!

Answer 4

I have 3 girls, ages 3, 7, and 9. I know some of what your going through. It's very important that you communicate with your daughter. ask about anything, how school was, how her friends are, does she like her teacher? ANYTHING. It's very normal for little girls to try to get attention by saying that nobody likes them, she wants you to feel sorry for her. Don't join her petty party, it will only get worse.


As for the misbehavior, I am not saying what you should do, but my girls know not to lie, it gets them a spanking every time, no matter how small (I am not talking about using there imagination and telling a make believe story) I am talking about a lie. Back talk, and attitude I give them a quick look, that is there one chance to correct ther behavior them self's. I only advise you to get a hold on this behavior now before she is a teenager, because it only gets worse from there.

I notice my children thrive greatly, and are very happy knowing we love them, and won't let them step out of line. Discipline = positive self esteem (shhhhhh don't tell that to Dr. Spock)

Answer 5

has she got ant friends? Maybe she doesn't and is taking out her hurt on someone who will love her no matter what. There is no real excuse for rudeness but she is 8 and if she says no one likes her you may have the reason. Talk to the teacher on what she see's happening at school. If she really has no friends then you may wish to start her at a new school with a fresh start. Get her involved in activities that make her a part of a group (scouts is good). As for the lies and abuse...don't put up with it. Take away privileges and favourite toys. Make her earn it back through respect

Answer 6

I used to be just like your daughter. The best thing you can do for her is to really crack down. You have to let her know who is in charge. She will struggle against you and probably take it hard, and it will get a little worse before it gets better, but in the long run, when she grows up, she will understand and really appreciate you. If she has an attitude and shes only 8, she could get a lot worse. (!)
I would go to library and get a book on discipline tips.

Answer 7

i am old fashioned a good beating usually does the trick put the fear of god in her who cares if your a bad mom if your teaching her what is right and wrong and not actually abuseing her that is what makes you a good mom if she gets what she wants all the time without repricutions (punishment ) your not doing your job if she lies and you know that she is take away something she really likes and grow some backbone you are the one that pays the bills you are the boss she will walk all over you if you let her hope that is enough once she see she cant f-ck around anymore or get over on you she will start to change but it wont happen in on week stay strong and persistant you will thank me

Answer 8

It's your job to love her, not her job to love you. Don't try to be her friend, if she says she hates you, she'll get over it.

Read Dr. Phil's book Family First. It is the most useful thirty bucks you could spend. It's not much money to get dozens of useful tips to make your family life happier, really.

Be consistent so she knows what to expect if she behaves badly.

Always separate the child from the behaviour. Tell her that she is wonderful, but that particular behaviour was awful and if she continues to behave like that then ______ will happen without fail.

Good luck.

Answer 9

little kids push boundries, a lot of this is her pushing yours. How much crap will mom take. Can I guilt her into not punishing me, does she care enough about me to make me behave. THese are the questions she is aksing when she acts out.

Set reasonable rules and the stick to them. Don't let her get away with her lies, but don't nad her endlessly about them either. If you catch her, punish her, groundings, loss of priveledges ect, and then let that be the end of it until she is cought again.

If your rulse are with in reason, and you stick to effective punishments, the behavoirs will subside.

Answer 10

You have to stop taking what she says personally. She's 8 years old! She's only saying these things to get to you. What are you doing as punishment for her behavior? If you are doing nothing, then that is why she is behaving this way--because she can. You have to set specific rules with specific punishments for when she breaks them. For example: Tell her that the next time she disrespects you, you are going to take her cell phone away. Then, when she does it, take her cell phone away!! I know its not that simple, but you have to stop questioning your ability to parent and just do it! She is your daughter and you can't let her walk all over you.