So we started seeing eachother a lot. Hanging out, Cuddling, kissing and all the wonderful things in a relation. But she now says that she thinks we are going to fast and need to slow down. Stating that she has a lot of things in her life to figure out. And that it is just hard to throw a guy on top of it all. She just wants time for herself and friends. Which I am completely supportive of. But now spending time with her just as friends feels ackward. And how she acts around me still feels like dating, but refrains from doing little things, like cuddling and kissing. It is hard to control myself and remain a friend. She also said that eventually she will be ready. What does she mean by this and how can I help. And also stay in her life as a potention boyfriend?
2006-10-03 15:53:50 · 11 answers · asked by harmonryan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Beth is right. You're smothering her. She could be freaking out on how close you are getting and how much time you are spending together. She could have met someone else and is now really confused. This is why during the first few months of dating you should hang out once a week, maybe twice. No IMing, texting, or calling on the phone every day because you've got to give her the gift of "missing you."
Clearly she controls the pace of this relationship and she knows that you like her more than she likes you. This isn't something you can really sit down and "talk about" because she's already laid down the rules and you've pretty much caved into it. If I were in your shoes this is what I would do:
1. I would lessen my contact with her. Start spendign more time with your buddies...the one's you've been neglecting coz u've been spending most of ur time with her.
2. Let her know that since ur just friends now that ur going to start going on some other dates. This is ur way of communcating to her that going from really affetionate and dating to now jsut "being friends" and that she will "eventually be ready" is NOT acceptable to your standards. If she gets mad then she's being a hypocrite because she says you two are just friends.
3. Start learning to work on your game. It sounds like you really like this girl and I can appreciate that but you're going to date other girls over the years, so don't put this one on a pedestal and don't let her have this much control over your emotional and social well-being.
No matter what you decide, make sure you give her the space she needs. I strongly recommend only talking with her about once a week now. Let her miss you. Also realize things may never go back the way they were or they might. But the critical part here is that you give her the space she needs so she comes to that decision on her own.
In the meanwhile go out and have some fun. You're just friends and like Ross said "We're on a break!"
Rod
2006-10-03 16:19:16 · answer #1 · answered by thedatepro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good idea. It will put the two of you in a safe place where both of you can know each other better without crossing the line, specially if both of you were not ready yet for total committment to each other. Have you got any idea how passion works in a tempting situation? I'll give you a hint, very often, people are caught up where they knew too well but not smart enough to get out of that trap. Only smart people escape that trap. And these are the PEOPLE WHO LOOK BEFORE THEY LEAP.
2006-10-03 16:06:56 · answer #2 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short and sweet........YOU ARE SMOTHERING HER! She is simply asking for space.......and if you will give it to her and be her friend........and not push her for more and CONTROL yourself you will get a lot further than pushing her for something she has told you shes not ready for yet!
So to put it nicely.....back off.......BE HER FRIEND or be nothing.......
She probably does really like you a lot but how can she miss you if you never go away?
Think about it........what if she was there everytime you turnes around, every time you opened a door she was standing there, every time you looked out a window she was there everytime you tried to talk to your friends she was there every time you .............well fill in the blanks...........thats how you are making her feel right now.........
So back off and let her miss you a bit............you will see some changes once you get control or yourself and emotions.......
good luck
2006-10-03 15:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Crystal e, sorry- but that does not mean she wants to brake up with him. Your girl just means that she would like to not go so fast, and maybe go on a few dates here and there. Respect her request, and slow things down a bit. If you respect her, your relationship will turn out to be very romantic, peaceful, and prudent.
<3,
cinderella108
2006-10-03 16:00:56 · answer #4 · answered by Cinderella108 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have been too nice to her. tell her to f-off, make it clear that she is making a mistake and don't call her for two weeks. i'll bet she will be begging you to come back. take the weeks to explore other options in the rare chance that she does not. girls donot like a guy that is weak or overly available. don't ever forget this
2006-10-03 15:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by JJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect her wishes and stay as friends for now. She will come back when she is ready.
2006-10-03 15:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I think it's over. Walk away. It wasn't meant to be. Don't be bitter. This is a slice of life. God bless.
2006-10-03 16:00:55 · answer #7 · answered by Darby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hard for you, but give her room, she will love you for respecting her and caring enough to give her the space to sort out her feelings
2006-10-03 15:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by sibelover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel... But do not force her to do something she doesn't want to. Girls hate that
2006-10-03 16:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by LoveFreak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means she is not ready for you to get into her pants...
2006-10-03 15:56:12 · answer #10 · answered by MC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋