Was a heavy drinker, possibly alcoholic - quit 3 months ago - depressed - how to transition to normal life?

Question

I have been a heavy drinker/binge drinker for much of my 20s and 30s and since being married have been drinking almost daily to excess - about a six-pack of beer or too much hard liquor or wine most days per week after work. I used it to escape from the stress of my job and my wife did too - it was a big part of ou rlife. Then all of a sudden I quit drinking on my own - was just sick of it and was worried about my health, and my wife's pregnancy and her quitting drinking made it an easy decision to quit since we always got drunk together in the past and now she had quit. So yes I have quit, and have gotten past the phase of desiring it (that was a hard phase - driving home without picking up a six pack of beer!), but now I am bored and depressed and anxious a lot. Mainly a heavy depression - an emptiness. My questions are, how does an alcoholic/abuser make the transition to a sober life and not be depressed/anxious. I cannot take antidepressants - bad reactions to them.

Answer 1

Alright you probably are not going to like this answer but have you ever considered Alcholics Anonymous? I know it sound bad and boring but honey believe me its sister program Narcotics Anonymous saved my life. I would have been dead by now.

If you can't take anti-depressants you can still always go to see a counselor if you feel that you don't want to go to Alcholics Anonymous. I will tell you this if you would go and give it at least three meetings and your wife could go with you too since you were drinking partners, it may make both of you feel better about yourselves. You may not feel as depressed as all of the people there are like you they are either heavy drinkers of alcholics. Talking to other people that have or have had the same problems as you may make some of the depression go away. I can almost guarantee to you that the emptiness will go away too, and it will definately help you make that very hard transition to a normal life that you have forgotten what feels like. Now you said that you can't take anti-depressants but you did not say that you cannot take anti-anxiety pills such as Klonapin, Xanax or Ativan. The anxiety that you are feeling I would imagine (because I had a boyfriend that was an alcholic) is the shakes. They too will go away with time. I beg you honey find the nearest AA Meeting and go to it you will feel so much better, I have been to AA and NA and they are both the same 12 step meetings just laid out a little different for a drug addict and an alcholic. Give it at least three meetings please, try and do it for your new baby that is coming if for nothing else. If you would like to chat you can e-mail me at [e-mail] God Bless you and good luck to you, your wife and that new bundle of joy.

Answer 2

Well you have used alcohol to self medicate all of these feelings before. This did not allow you to actually develope normal coping skills for all of these things. It is going to take a lot of time and learning to know the sober you. If the feelings of depression are to much right now maybe you can talk to your doctor about an antidepressant. Prozac would be a good start. This would just even you out and then go off of it with doctor supervision later when you feel better. Hope this helps

Answer 3

you need to seek counsling and a good dr.attend some meetings so that u can see what other people go through and have been through on a daily basis of not drinking.you lived a life that was not real u were always drunk and didnt have to face the real things that happen daily.they have 10,000 anit-depressants,mood stabalizers,anti-anziety meds a good dr will find something that will work for u.your doing a great job and youve made a great decission in your life go get some help dont be to proud remember u have a child on the way they should be number one in your life now and u need to make sure that u are sane before this child comes along good luck and hang in there

Answer 4

First and foremost congratulations on your re-birth. Both of you took a leap of faith and for the sake of your future and that of your child you've decided to live without destruction. I commend both of you. You guys can benefit from support groups. People who've been where you are now. Eventhough neither of you need the assistance of AA to quit, but it can be a great source of maintenance support for both of you. You'll meet others who have dinner groups and other functions that will get you out of your depression and lack of direction. The danger of not seeking a support group for maintenace is the chance of slipping back to old habits especially when you're depressed and vulnerable. You will not only benefit psychologically, you'll make some terrific friends who are like minded and on the same journey to a bright future. You guys have done an amazing job starting your recovery process, but you're a bit of a loose cannon if you don't have a direction. That direction can be achieved with support from others who've been where you are now and are where you want to be. Try a few different meetings in your town until you find people you have chemistry with. you may even meet people with small kids and other compatible life styles.
You've already done the hardest part; quitting. Now maintain it for two reasons; one is for assurance of not slipping back and second just for the sheer fun of meetinf others and seeing what works with them, making new friends who aren't going to tempt you into drinking etc.
Good luck with life. It really sounds lioke you guys are going to do a great job, both at the cleaning your life bit and the baby bit. All babies should be so lucky to be born into a family that wants to better their life and the babys' world.

Answer 5

Congratulations! I want to applaud you for changing your life. First, try to change your diet. Don't eat foods that are high in fat. Alcohol is a depressant. Drinking makes you depressed. So, not drinking should make you happy. I believe your depression is related to you no longer drinking to escape the other things that were going on in your life. Try to exercise. Replace the time that you spent drinking with other activities like reading, preparing for your baby or a hobby. Your body is probably also responding to the lack of alcohol. Also consider therapy. Good Luck to you.

Answer 6

I would recommend a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous. There's great power in hearing how other folks dealt with it. The support is tremendous.

Also, consider taking up a hobby, something that will keep your hands and your mind busy. Maybe whittling or something like that?

Good for both of you for putting down the bottle. It's tough to do.

Answer 7

When it comes to Alcohol recovery, I TRULY believe in herbs and VIAMINS!!
FIRST start by taking a MINIMUM of 1000mg of vitamin C. That will HELP rebuild your IMMUNE system. THEN ALSO start taking "Mental Clarity." MC will help you have normal DREAM patterns again, which alcoholics don't get when drinking!
Then, for energy, take a B Complex vitamin a day for energy, and rebuilding the cells.

AS WITH ANY VITAMIN OR DRUG SUGGESTION, ALWAYS SEEK PROFESSIONAL ADVICE FROM A HEALTH STORE OR MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, BEFORE TAKING ANYONE'S ADVICE.

Answer 8

The best advice that I can give you is to give it time. It took you time to learn how to be an alcoholic, it will take time to adjust to what is considered normal life. While don't you join AA? Sometimes it can help to relate to others about your problems, and since you wife cant, that is the next best thing.

Answer 9

AA