Should good parenting involve treating your children fairly?

Question

When a parent has an argument with his/her kid(s) should they treat them fairly?This questions concerns teenagers more than it does younger kids.

I know a lot of parents will just say no for the hell of it cause they like feeling powerful. Should decisions be based on a rational basis? I believe if you make irrational/power-hungary decisions, you're kids will immitate the same behavior.

Answer 1

from about the age of 13 my kids ( 1 girl 1 Boy ) were allowed to make most of their own decisions. I was there to help them with the out comes good or bad, they have to learn some time and you wont be there forever !! work out great for me.

Answer 2

Are you approaching this as a parent or a child?

Parents ideally shouldn't engage in arguments with children over how they are being treated. That said, let's leave the Brady Bunch on tv and get back to the real world!

Parents should remain impartial and make every effort to make their children feel equal in order to avoid actively influencing their child's sense of self-worth and attitude towards their sibling/s.

In reality however, parents don't treat their children equally. It's not something that they can do - seeing as parents too are human. They will have their favoured child - the one they've bonded most closely with. The only parent who doesn't have favourites is one who isn't actively involved in their child's upbringing. Whilst parents are parents, they are people as well and they have their preferences, likes, dislikes, habits etc and they will bond with the child who shares these same characteristics.

It sounds as though you've answered your own question which is fine - that's clearly how you see things. And you're right, the actions of parents do influence their children and children do take on their parents characteristics via absorption or mimicing (or both).

Answer 3

I'm not a parent of a teen (or a parent at all for that matter) but as the oldest of two children, I believe so. Your children, no matter how old they are, are affected by you (if not just absorb everything you do). If you do not treat them fairly, they will not understand that ethically that is how they are supposed to act in the world.

Granted, you can say that the world/society is not fair to begin with, but I think as a parent you have the responsiblity to instill a sense of justice in your kids so that they will know that it is only right to treat others fairly.

Answer 4

of course you should treat them fairly. Decisions should be made on a rational basis. If there is a rational reason to say no than thats fair but if you say no for the heck of it than that is probably unfair. so yes i agree with your attitude.

Answer 5

Yes, I beleive that you should always treat your children fairly. I also beleive that they should have the same rules, depending on their ages of course. But no matter what always take the time to listen to what your children have to say. They do really watch how you handle things.

Answer 6

Yes. Good parenting would involve treating your children fairly. Definitely! :)

Answer 7

Yes. You must always treat them fairly. If they feel that they are getting the short end of the stick, then it may reflect on them as they get older. They'll find ways to cheat just so they won't have to feel that they are recieving unfair treatment.

Answer 8

don't treat them fairly. This just gives them the false belief that the world is fair. They need to learn that the world isn't fair so they don't get crushed when they go out into the world.

Answer 9

It is impossible to treat your kids fairly because you are protecting them as well.

Answer 10

yes but what a child deems as fair a parent might not and what a parent deems as fair a child might not