I have been seeing a woman for 3 months. Well she came to me yesterday and told me she was pregnant and I was thrilled as I always wanted a family and asked her to marry me and this is when she told me she was already married and my heart fell out of my chest as this was the 1st time I ever thoght I might be in love. I want her to leave her husband but she says no way and that i must go but that kid could be mine.I want to tell her husband about us hoping he will get mad and throw her out and she could be mine. What should I do. I want a family so bad.I am 32 and life is moving fast.
2006-10-03 13:51:07 · 29 answers · asked by irishlad 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not a good idea to tell her husband. Even if he leaves her, she will not be yours. She has made that clear. Move on and find an unattached woman to start a family with!
2006-10-03 13:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by funlady6632@yahoo.com 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should respect her wishes. If she doesn't want u anymore, there's nothing you can do about that cause her mind's already made up. What u could do is ask that she have a DNA test so as to rule out any doubts which u have. If it is proven that the child is urs, then the onus is on u to tell her husband whether or not she agrees because he does have the right to know. Think about it, if ur woman/wife was cheating on you, u'd wanna know wouldn't u? If ur hoping that her husnad will kick her out after hearing this news, then don't because it's very possible that he may forgive her and turn on you so u better be careful. Remember that what u guys have been doing is wrong and the results which u r looking for may not occur - they may backfire. So weight out ur options very well and try to be more open minded. Also take into consideration that this is someone's marriage ur looking to wreck. And think how much easier it would be to just let go and move on.
2006-10-03 14:08:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can go ahead and tell her husband and think she will come back to you but you dont really know whether she will go to you or not. What guarantees you that she even loves you and how happy would you be if she does decide to stay with you, considering that she cheated on her husband with you! and what guarantees you that she wont do the same to you! I believe that you should move on and find someone who does not lie to you and is not married. There is more fish in the sea not the last female on earth so just wait till find the right one, cuz obviously this female is not it. GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-10-03 14:04:13 · answer #3 · answered by Belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, he could throw her out. Would you want to be sloppy seconds? She's opting to stay with HIM, not go with you. You need to really think about that.
That kid could totally be yours. You won't know that until its born and you can do a paternity test.
Right now, this seems very fresh. It just came to a head yesterday, after all. Sleep on this and don't do anything too quick. You might regret what your instincts are telling you to do. You can't change the fact that she is pregnant, married, and staying with this guy. What you can change is your part in this whole sha-bang.
I'm guessing you are a decent fellow, in love with this lady, but she is not going to leave him. You need to talk with her and let her know that you will be active in this until you find out if that baby is yours. She can tell him, or you can do it. Let her be the one to decide that. Really, you don't need this type of a gal to be stringing you along. She did lie to you about being married. Omission is lying. That's a very BIG omission.
♥
2006-10-03 14:01:39 · answer #4 · answered by Rachael 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she'll cheat w/you, she'll cheat ON you. Sorry, but the LAST thing you want is to be with this woman in a committed relationship. You could never trust that she'll be as committed to you as you are to her.
That said, you are in a relationship of some sort IF the baby is yours and IF she tells that to the husband and IF they let you see the kid.
Do you REALLY want a woman in your life who'd rip her marriage apart, apparently with NO regard for the baby?! I say she has NO regard for the baby because she (and you) obviously didn't take good enough precautions to prevent pregnancy.
AND, if you tell hubby, who says he won't flip and hurt her, you and the kid? Think hard on this one. Pray and seek clarity. This is not a case in which to be guided by emotion. Too much is at stake.
Sorry to be harsh. You sound bamboozled. But didn't you sense she was married? There are usually signs: your S.O. can never meet at her house for some convenient reason, she says not to even call her at home, she can never meet on the spur of the moment but only at certain times, you have to "sneak" around, she seems nervous when you're together...
Think about it.
2006-10-03 14:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry for you unfortunate love life. For wrongly fallen in love with a married woman who cheated on her husband. If she love her husband so much and yet she still cheated on him, then by now you should know what type of woman she is. Maybe you are blinded with love. Remember, to start a family, is a long commitment relationship. Don't do things impulsively because its maybe ended up with regrets.
2006-10-03 14:14:12 · answer #6 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all telling her husband is bad on your part .. if she wants to move on let her when she has the baby request for a test to see if its yours or her husband.. you shouldnt want what's already taken.. that is a sin in god's eyes if the child is your request vistation rights and then the husband will soon find out himself if she is any kind woman she will tell her husband the truth and hope that he forgives her cause she is married and she doesnt want to leave him that should tell you that she doesnt really care about you and that you were just a sex thing nothing more sorry to say it but move on with your life and find someone single that is the best I can do.. good luck and best wishes but dont be a home wrecker let her pay for her mistakes
2006-10-03 13:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by ~*~ Stormy Weather~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whoa...
For starters, DONT tell the husband (...yet). His immediate reaction will be to kill you before you're done telling your story.
Secondly, get a test done. You don't know if it's really yours or if it could be his.
Thirdly, if it's not yours, stop seeing her.. like, immediately! Her version of "love" is corrupt. Anyone who cheats will undeniably cheat again. If it IS yours, find a way to tell the father in a safe setting (perhaps a publicated area like the park.. where yelling and/or running is permitted).
2006-10-03 14:08:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should want to tell her husband because she is a slutty whore- not because you hope she will thow you out. dont be so quick to jump into having a family with this lady. if she cheated on her husband- what makes you think that she wont cheat on you if you get married? you have a right to know if the baby is yours---but even if she does get thrown out....i wouldnt take her back unless you know the baby is yours. but the husband has a right to know. you should be the good guy and tell the husband. he has a right to know. think about it: you know how bad you want a family? he probally wants it just as bad, and shouldnt have one with his slutty wife. think about before you do anything....good luck with whatever you decide.
2006-10-03 13:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by Ellen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
her husband has every right to know that she cheated on him, but she is the one that needs to tell him, not you...dont brake their marriage apart, the child could also be his...ask her to take paternity test!
she lied to you for 3 months, she could've told you she is married...do you really wanna spend the rest of your life with her? and she is a cheater. she might cheat on you too...better forget about her and try to find a single woman ready to start family.
2006-10-03 14:00:11 · answer #10 · answered by Mila 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋