Between you and I ..........who made this grammatically correct?

Question

English is my foreign language and I thought I had learned it well, but lately I'm not so sure anymore.

More and more I hear:

- between you and I
instead of "between you and me"

- thanks for the present you gave my wife and I
instead of "gave my wife and me"


It almost looks that someone went out with he and she instead of him and her!

Help please! I hear it on TV, my boss is starting to use it, and everybody seems to think they are speaking proper english. Am I nuts?

Answer 1

I generally don't cringe at grammar mistakes, but this one actually does bother me. Here's why: it's wrong in two ways.

It sounds wrong. I don't care if something is "correct" by grammar book standards if it sounds right. Language changes, and grammar books are based on weird stuff from a long time ago that has nothing to do with the way people speak. People tried to apply Latin and Greek rules to English, which is NOT derived from Latin *or* Greek (though it has many words in the lexicon that were Greek or Latin. But not the language itself, which is Germanic.)

It *is* wrong. It's wrong by grammar book standards. In this case, the grammar books are 100% right--after a preposition, you use the objective case. Period. Also the present...gave to wife and...example--the present is the direct object, and "wife and me" are the indirect object. They would still be objects if you just said, "thanks for the present you gave my wife and me." So it's wrong prescriptively (grammar book grammar) and descriptively (grammar that people use in actual language.)

I HATE this mistake, I hate it, I hate it! Thanks for bringing up the issue and letting me vent. Good point, and you are RIGHT and you keep using the objective case properly! Kudos! (There's a Greek word for ya!)

Answer 2

English is the most "dyslexic" language in the world. It has SOOOOOO many contradictions and silly "rules". English is derived from many languages, most notable Latin, then french, Greek, and even ancient Aramaic. It can be difficult (and very obviously is), for native speakers, it strikes me you are doing EXTREMELY well using it as a second language as most native speakers would NOT have noticed/ cared about the discrepancy you have asked about.
To answer (sort of) you question - I do not know WHY people are incapable of dealing with this grammatical conundrum but a simple way to ensure you get it "right" is:
If you are saying, (for example), "They invited ME to the party" you would consequentially say "They invited Jim and me to the party." (You would NOT say "They invited "I"I to the party")
So, if a sentence is "correct with the reference to "me" (IE: The prize was for me..."), then the "plural" sentence would read "The prize was for Jim and me...".
Whereas if you were to say "I was invited to the party..." the plural sentence would read "Jim and I were invited to the party..."
I cannot explain why SO MANY people misuse the English language...I believe there are a lot of issues which contribute to horrible grammar, most notably, the lack of "caring".
Hope that helps a bit - thanks for the thoughtful question...Cheers!

Answer 3

you are not nuts! have you ever seen the movie My Fair Lady?? If not - get it and watch it - if so.... remember the part in the beginning where Professor Higgins is speaking of the vcarious nationalities and their languages and ne said - [speakng about the English language] why in America English hasn't been heard for years!

unfortunately, grammer is a thing of the past in the American English language. while it is not proper English.... it's Americanized English!

Answer 4

The way we were taught in grade school was to take away the other person: for example, my wife and me--take away my wife,and you are left with me which is the right word.Then you can see if you are correct.

Answer 5

only because its on tv doesnt mean is grammatically correct. People on tv always use bad grammar. Its ok, keep learning english, you will love the fact that you are speaking very properly.

Answer 6

No - you are correct. When in doubt, put the plural in place of I/me and see if it sounds right. One would not say, "Thanks for the present you gave we."

Answer 7

the proper wording "between you and me"
the plural is "between us" and this is in the objective case, therefore if you break it into singular pronouns, you must use the objective case (me) not the nominative.

Answer 8

You aren't nuts. People get lazy and use 'slang'.

Answer 9

NOPE .
both are used but the former is more formal.(it sounds better too)

Answer 10

not me.