How do you stand up for yourself if you were never taught to?

Question

I am 36 yr old female who has a good job and just recently got a place of my own. I am the nicest person but i just get ran over all the time. my solution is to run away and hide from the situation or the people that hurt me. once i leave i never go back.

Answer 1

I love the list that Cheryl gave you! The only one I disagree with is the right to make decisions based on feelings. I am working really hard on realizing that feelings are often a very bad basis for decisions!
But, that being said, the list is an awesome idea. What I would add to it is put it where you can read it while you brush your teeth. That way you can concentrate on it at least twice a day without taking away time from your (likely) already hectic schedule. I actually use lists and reminders in this manner.
Also, you need to work on your self esteem. Read books on self esteem. Make lists of your accomplishments and reasons to love you. Realize that you are just as lovable as the person you love most in this world! It is true! Once you learn how to love yourself everything else will fall into place. You will defend your own rights just like you would a little child's.
I wish you Blessings and Love!

Answer 2

Print this off and put it somewhere you can see it easily:

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have a right to say no to requests or demands that I cannot meet.
3. I have a right to express all of my feelings - positive and negative.
4. I have a right to change my mind.
5. I have a right to make mistakes and do not have to be perfect.
6. I have a right to follow my own beliefs and values.
7. I have the right to say no to anything if I feel that I am not ready, if it is unsafe, or if it conflicts with my values.
8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.
9. I have the right not to be responsible for the actions, feelings, or behaviours of others.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
12. I have the right to be myself. To be unique.
13. I have the right to express fear.
14. I have the right to say "I don't know."
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behaviour.
16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
17. I have the right to my own personal space and time.
18. I have the right to be playful.
19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
20. I have the right to feel safe, and be in a non-abusive environment.
21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
22. I have the right to change and grow.
23. I have the right to have my wants and needs respected by others.
24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
25. I have the right to be happy.

Answer 3

You can start by taking up a class in "su bak do" ((spelling))or "karate".

They don't only teach self defense... It will give you now found power to stand up for yourself emotionally as well. If you have the right teacher anyway!!!

Answer 4

First off, son't run and hide. Tell the person how you feel about what they are doing and don't let yourself be taken advantage of.

Answer 5

Okay I know this situation. It has happened to many girls I've known. First & foremost don't run, stand your ground, and most important demand respect.

Answer 6

You need to tell yourself to be more assertive and stand up to what you believe is right.

Answer 7

If you really want to help yourself with that, SAY SOMETHING!!! Its hard but it works.