Advice needed on my 2 serious problems?

Question

I need advice on my 2 serious problems which I believe will cause severe damage in my life if it is not resolved anytime soon.
My first problem is severe depression. The severe depression, which started at 16, made me extremely shy, introverted, and unable to make friends. I had hard time concentrating and I often felt like having a headache. Hence, my schoolwork suffered, was lonely all the time, and I was in sorrow most of the time.
My lust problem came to me as second-nature. I became very interested in opposite sex at 16. But determined to stay virgin till marriage, I turned to masturbation and porn to release the tensions. I never thought masturbation and watching porn could be addicting. I thought it is all natural, harmless thing that every young guy engages in. Now, I am having to fight the urges 2 or 3 times a week to be free of the temptations. The temptation is so strong that I give in to it more often than not.
If God won't help me, I think my life is doomed. Any advice?

Answer 1

Go get professional medical help asap. There are meds to help with depression that work. Take action for yourself now. Don't play around with depression as it can do damage to you and those around you. It is usually a chemical imbalance that can be treated. Then try to get exercise and eat right, as well as be around people who lift your spirits. Go out in nature wherever you can find it, breathe fresh air and look at the beauty of the natural world as that can be the best medicine for feeling down about yourself.

Answer 2

Dear Shalini, how can you be in love with your best friend after knowing his nature and more importantly how can be a guy who does not care about you, you does not care about your feelings or anything for that matter can be your BEST FRIEND. All I see here that you were infatuated with this guy and believed that he is the best and your best friend and that you love him but all this time he was just using you, and when he felt that he cannot get more out of you without being the guy you thought he is he really did not cared about you and did not even stopped you from leaving him, in-fact I believe he was relieved that you left him and he did not had to do that. Now this guy, your neighbor was and is a kid who got attracted to a gal 2 years elder to him who is more physically matured than the girls his age, he wanted to fulfill his fantasy of being your friend and talk to you which he got by giving you a shoulder to cry on, you were sad and he was there and he acted just like a good friend and wanted you to smile and be happy because that is the way he wants to see you, while you made him a god who is the source of all your happiness, you became totally dependent on this guy and made him in-charge of your life, so when he is in-charge he will do what he likes to do, and he is younger to you so looks like a kid and is threatened by guy your age or 1-2 years elder to you with whom you are more likely be in relationship with and this is the reason he is controlling that part of your life so that you do not meet any other guy and so you do not like any of them enough to leave him. DO NOT let him control your life, let him know what you need and want to do and although he may be your lover and you two may be very close even physical he should not control whom you should be friends with, it is not that you will have an affair or a sexual relationship with any guy who smile your way. Let him know that you can be trusted like the way you trust him, this is a two-way street and if you are not allowed to have any guy friends then he should not have and should not even look at any other girl

Answer 3

God, and a strong determination will help you. You have to realizes that for every sin there is a consequence, the consequence for watching porn, and masterbating is a addiction problem. You must ernestly pray, and ask God to help distract your mind when these urges surface, read helpful literature on self help on this subject. you'll be surprise how many people are suffering from these addiction. Fight, for the cleansing of your mind with good, and clean movies, literature, and productive activities. Be helpful to people in need(do good deeds) Bring up your self worth and self esteem. This addiction will not help your state of depression it will only make it worst. It will also add guilt to your conscience. You could do it if you are determine. If this doesn't work please get counseling, and spiritual help.

Answer 4

About the depression: you should really go and see someone like a counsellor, depression is the major cause of youth suicide today so it is something you and those around you have to take seriously.

Secondly, about the masturbation thing, it is totally natural and 2-3 times a week is actually quite a normal amount. Heck, I have known a lot of men that think once a day is not enough. Maybe try throwing out your pornos to stop yourself from watching them.

Good luck and get help

Answer 5

I've seen a lot of pornography, too. Talk about poison. Thankfully, I haven't looked at it for a while now, although I still have the memories. Make sure you're avoiding the situations that enable you to sin sexually. I suggest making something else your focus. Listen to Christian music, read the Bible, and pray that God will restore your image of women to a godly one. Pornography is damaging bc it portrays women solely in a sexual, and often very subservient, light. This is a part of who we are as people, but it's a minority. Pornography, however, magnifies it. So pray for God to restore your image of women. I still have temptations and, thinking about it, feel completely unqualified to be writing this. But I've been there, looking at pornography late at night, masturbating, fantasizing, it all seemed to happen together. I still struggle with the last two. I encourage you to stop looking at those images and reject those thoughts when they come to you, and ask that you'd pray for me to do the same. Continually ask Him, and God will eventually restore your image of women, bc He wants you to see the immense beauty of a woman, in her whole being, not just her body.

God bless him in his path to purity, give him strength to run from temptation as Joseph did with Potiphar's wife.

Keep fighting, eventually it will get easier.

Answer 6

Start dating and leave God out of it, let Mother Nature take her course. Are you thinking of becoming a Catholic priest? I think allot of religions are accepting now of sexual relations and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Dating, sex, and relationships are all part of a trial and error, and of course there will be odd, awkward, and some times just painful moments, but these are things that make you grow and can event enhance your spirituality.

I really hope I did not offend your beliefs, but sometimes you need to question if what you believe in is your beliefs or your upbringings and why you believe in what you believe in and if it is healthily.

Hope that helps.

Answer 7

If youve never talked to a shrink, nows the time. It could save your life. There are meds out there that can help with the way youre feeling. Please look into it. You may be suprised with the results you may get. I wish you luck. Its NOT THAT BAD. Itll get better. Dont dwell on it, get out and have some fun.

Meds can make all this possible.

Answer 8

heightened sexual urges are often accompanied with depression
please get help in treating your depression and i am sure you will find that the better you begin to get the less these urges will take over your life
but please stop hating yourself for giving in to these urges at the moment
think of them as a side effect of your illness until you get help
as this will only lead to guilt and more depression
love to you and i wish you well xxx

Answer 9

See a doctor about the depression. The sex drive thing is just hormones...all mammals go through this.

Answer 10

Seek medical advice for the depression. Depression can be deadly.