I just got engaged. It's beautiful. We're in love with each other. Great careers. Both from good stock. Great family history. We both made commitments, to ourselves, prior to meeting, to abstain from sex until marriage. We met. Found we share the same views. Yada, yada yada. Keep in mind, neither one of us are virgins, it was a "turn over a new leaf" kinda thing. Well, while visiting a mutual friend's cottage, I became privy to some info that totally freaked me out. It turns out that he has a tremendously small penis. Child-size. Abnormal. Vienna. My thumb...maybe. The mutual friend is cousins to an ex-girlfriend of his. Don't get me wrong, I am totally in love with this man. My soul loves him, you hear me!!! But sex is very important to me in a relationship. And good sex at that. The wedding's in June '07. I don't know what to do folks. Don't want to be selfish. Willl never meet a better guy. I will NEVER tell him about this but WHAT??!!! Your opinion please.
2006-10-03 12:13:28 · 47 answers · asked by toledolatinasimone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Look Ben H, and anyone else answering with a similar tone...I never said I considered not marrying him. I was thinking more on the lines of asking to see it or talking about it or even breaking our vow of to abstain. And not to help me make a decision on whether or not to marry him. He touches my soul with every breathe he takes. I just want to know what I'm working with so I won't be dissapointed on my wedding night. And like most have said, it's very possible that this friend is either lying or misinformed. Guys, it just like someone telling you that your girl has no juice or something. And for the one girl, we have kissed and touched and we have excellent intimate chemistry. We haven't however touched each other's genitals. Not weird, old-fashioned and special maybe.
2006-10-03 12:35:14 · update #1
Gracias, mi amigo. Nuestro amigo es un homosexual. Él me contó esta historia porque era divertida. Su primo es probablemente celoso. Creo que esto es verdad. Creo que mi novio sabe sus límites. ¡Entienda por favor!
2006-10-03 12:50:31 · update #2
Let me put this in another context: You are about to get married, and you cannot communicate something important to your future husband.
Imagine if I had an issue that causes me a great deal of anxiety prior to the wedding and it will affect my marriage after the wedding, but I can't talk to my future wife about it. Would you consider me ready to be married?
After you have had a calm think, you will know the answer ... to your own question.
2006-10-05 02:57:02 · answer #1 · answered by Jeff C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - what a situation. Assuming that the "ex" wasn't lying because she was bitter and angry - and that's a BIG assumption ..Let's be real here...."it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean"? Well, you can't get to China in a rowboat, girl. Anyone who tells you that size doesn't matter in regards to intercourse is lying. And - sex is a big part of any relationship.
That being said, there are lots of sexual things you can do that don't involve intercourse. Most women can't orgasm thru just intercourse anyways. As long as he has skills in ..ummm..other areas, your sex life can still be fabulous. If he's not experienced in other areas, then teach him once you consumate your relationship. And there are always toys you can incorporate into your sex life as well. You should be able to tell just from kissing him whether he's a sexual, romantic person. If you truly will "never meet a better guy" then finding ways to have a great sex life wil be a breeze !
2006-10-03 12:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by earthlove32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, that is a tough one.
BUT, marriage is about honesty as well as commitment.
I would tell him straight out where you heard this and ask him if it's true. I would believe him over some cousins ex-girlfriends.
It very well could be true - which is maybe why he has abstained from sex with you. You HAVE to ask him. Be honest!
Then you have to decide if this is still the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. If he loves you and you love him, you'll find a way to enjoy eachother -
All the cards should be on the table BEFORE you put that ring on. Good luck! I wish you both lots of happiness, together or not.
2006-10-03 12:22:50 · answer #3 · answered by LoveMyJacks 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"I was thinking more on the lines of asking to see it or talking about it or even breaking our vow of to abstain. And not to help me make a decision on whether or not to marry him. He touches my soul with every breathe he takes."
I am no way trying to be rude here, but you totally thrown me in a loop here in confusion.
If you are considering to break the vow of undoing the abstain only by hearing a rumor of an ex gf (come on, an ex as a source?)..........Then why abstain in the first place as abstaining doesn't seem such a strong vow if willing to break it over a "size" issue?
"I just want to know what I'm working with so I won't be dissapointed on my wedding night."
Hun, sex can be great. It isn't about the size and I get tired of people saying size is what count. In a way, yes for some people. However, sex is only hot if put spice in it. Have to compromise and find positions and situations to make it enjoyable. Plus, bring in the sex toys if you two are that comfortable. Just be extremely careful how you approach this. It can extremely hurt his self esteem and libido.
If he asks why you want to break the vow, will you be honest? Not best to start out a situation with a lie or "cover up" reason behind the true reason...
See what I mean?
I seriously think it might just be something you freaking out about that is not true. Especially form an ex....
Even if he is small. Trust me hun, there is ways to enjoy it. Plus, love conquers all and I bet his love for you will shine over his size anyhow.
If you want to make your mind at ease with curiousity, old-fashionably ask him. Can do it in a sexy, flirtatious way or can straight up bring up the topic in a size random conversation.
2006-10-03 20:09:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait, you're engaged and you've never even seen his penis? That's kind of weird. Abstaining from sex doesn't mean you don't get to be intimate. How will you know if you enjoy being intimate together? Plus, you're hearing this from someone else, it may not be true.
Anyway, a guy can have a small penis and still be good in the sack. I'd give it a fighting chance. And part of marriage is working together to find the positions, etc. that work for you as a couple.
2006-10-03 12:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well if you love him you gotta love the small penis also LOL
There are other ways that he can please you sexually. Even tho you are listening to some he said/she said stuff. You need to be better than that if you are about to get married all that is part of being young.
If you are really wandering about the size just ask him to see it and if and when you do and it's still such a big issue then I suggest you call off the wedding or make the engagement a little longer. But you shouldn't keep the fact that his size isn't an issue you will regret it in the end.
Good Luck!
2006-10-03 12:19:11 · answer #6 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think his ex is jelous and just told you that, but hey find out for yourself! I'm sure when you were kissing, you had to have felt something.
Conclusion: Watch the episode of Sex and the City Season 2, the very first episode of season 2, and a couple of shows after that episode too....... Samantha was in love with a guy, had a small penis, it didn't work out........
If that is the case, then you know that you will not be satisfied. Even if you are in love, it is not shallow of you to want to be pleasured and know that the man you love will not satisfy you. Why bother? Sounds harsh but it's the truth. Good luck! ♣
2006-10-04 06:57:10 · answer #7 · answered by Tracey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you have a problem. And I truely understand. I was married to a man with a very small penis also. As you said child size. We are no longer married. Not due to his penis size. It does not make for good sex at all. I wouldn't take someone elses word for his size though. I think you should just have sex with him before the marriage and see what you think. In my case you didn't even really feel like you were having sex. On a better note I am now happily married with a guy that is normal sized. Good luck to you.
2006-10-03 22:46:16 · answer #8 · answered by JAYNE C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you'll have a chance, during the coming year, to examine his wiener up real and close, like in foreplay that does not culminate in coitus, y' understand? Don't take anyones word for it.
Engaged couple's usually use this as a time of exploration. Get him off and see if you think it is too small to make you happy.
Understand, I hear most women say it is not the size, but what is done with it! Also, your 'G-spot' is most likely no more that 1.5" - 2" inside the vagina. Even a short penis will reach this far!
I once worked as a hospital aide, and had to insert catheters in male patients. I had one that had a pre-pubertal size gherkin. I had to use a child-size catheter on him. I could not help but look in amazement, and his wife saw my gaze, and smiled, a knowing smile that said, "oh, but what he can do with it!" They had 8 children! She seemed to not have any regrets! ( and she was a large woman, too!)
Please don't base your marriage on penis size.
2006-10-03 12:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're in a delima. I think you're really going to have to step back and make a major decision. Which is more important, the love of a good man or the size of a good man. Life is full of compromise, the ? is are you willing to judge the man by all the good qualities he has or the size of one of his physical qualities. You might ruin a good thing and never find a man that measures up to what you could have had. Chances are you can find a man with a bigger penis but can you find true love with him? Good luck.
2006-10-03 12:23:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋