We've been dating for 4 yrs and i wanna move our relationship to the next level and i keep dropping hints but he's says he's afraid to do that......I love him with all my heart but i feel like i'm wasting my life with him...what should i do?
2006-10-03 12:03:59 · 15 answers · asked by adzlovesu84 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i was in your shoes before. i was in a relationship for almost 6 years and my man said he wasn't sure if he was ready to be engaged. so i dumped him and moved on with my life. it was the hardest thing i have ever done and still to this day makes me sick to think about, but i know it was the right decision. about 1 month after the breakup he contacted me and said he realized how lucky he was to have someone like me and that he is ready to make the commitment.... i told him i as so sorry and that i would always love him, but couldn't get back with him. it still breaks my heart but sometimes you just need to do for yourself and destiny will lead the way.
2006-10-03 12:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by Btieti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be straight forward and ask him flat out to agree to become engaged. If he declines after four years of dating and you love him soooo much, giving it more time for him to commit may only turn out to be wishful thinking on your part. I would watch his body language and pay attention to how he answers you when you ask him this important question. If he says a quick no and no further discussion takes place, he is not the man for you. If he says, I do love you but I am worried about whether I can support you financially or not, that is a sign of sincerity so give him more time. He will eventually come around.
I wish you all the best of luck and hope you get the answer your are looking for.
BTW, I am single 42 and never been married (only because I am very picky) If your bf is very stubborn and says NO WAY, email me Floridamale42@yahoo.com ..................JOKING LOL
2006-10-03 19:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by maddog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you might want to think what the meaning of "afraid" really is.
He might really be saying that he does not think you are the right girl for him but cares for you enough that he does not want to break your heart. You need to ask him how he evaluates your current relationship, and tell him to not be afraid to be completely honest because you need to evaluate YOUR future too. You could waste valuable years with this guy and miss a chance with an even better guy.
2006-10-03 19:10:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The last thing you would want to do is make him feel as if your forcing him to get married that will repel him even more. The best thing is for you to let the subject go and wait for him to come around. Now, if you really feel like you've been waisting your time with him beyond the marriage thing then maybe you need to take a break.
2006-10-03 19:08:32 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Majesty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you drop hints and doesn't get the hint... maybe you should be straight forward, depending on his answer, you either plan your life together, or you dump him!
Don't waste your time... that's what relationships are for... to meet, get to know, and see if that's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with... not to be playing games.
Don't waste his or your time if that's not what he wants!
2006-10-03 19:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by precious1982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a year, if nothing has changed and you have spoken your peace break up. see how he reacts... if he doesn't mention forever and just calls you for sex than dump his a s s for good... if he seems sincere then impress your feelings upon him and give him a little more time
because the divorce rate is so much higher than the stay together rate it is no wonder that he is scared of it... make a plan and put EVERTHING out on the table including all the roles that each of you have and will have when children are involved...
in other words have adult conversation ... if he is not interested than he probablly is just with you for NOW and not for later
2006-10-03 19:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by Beano4aReason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pressure him. Let him do it when he is ready. Both parties in the relationship have to be ready for something that big. Just be yourself and don't bring it up and don't pressure him. He will do it when he is ready. He already knows you are ready. If you are wasting your life with him, then don't be with him. If you love him as much as you say, then you will wait till he is ready. Good things come to those who wait.
2006-10-03 19:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by ConfusedK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is never going to commit then you are wasting your time. Find out what it is that is scaring him and how it can be fixed. If it can't you either need to be happy with the way it is or let him know it's not enough for you.
2006-10-03 19:06:16 · answer #8 · answered by vancie121 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him enough you will wait as long as it takes. And if you feel that it will never go any further and you want it too you better get out now. You are never going to MAKE him do anything and if you tried he would hate you for it. Stick it out or leave.
2006-10-03 19:07:02 · answer #9 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not gonna lie, most men are afraid of marriage (well i am), and some dont understand it(i also fall in this category). I dont know which he is but think about it, what is more messed up, the fact that he's not ready for marriage , or that you feel like your waisting your life with him.........................
2006-10-03 19:16:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋