earn parents trust back?

Question

how can i earn there trust back i got caught sneaking out and they knwo i drink nd used to hookup with boys now we always go tot here friends house who has a son a year older than me nd i've hooked up with him nd a few of his frineds nd my parents found out so wheneevr im over there if im hangfing out wiht the boys they will call me voer nd tell me to go somewhere lese because they dont trust me nd i say fine just leave me home if i cna't even hangout witht hem nd they say they can't trust me home alone either how can i earn there trust back it's annoyign and gets int he way fo my social life a lot

Answer 1

Why should they trust you?! If you were my daughter I'd keep you on a tight leash until you started acting responsibly. Act like an adult and you will be treated like one. You can't even spell correctly and use punctuation. How bout starting there? How bout good grades, helping around the house, stuff like that. Your social life isn't important right now.

I'm adding in response to your e-mail:
Well that's wonderful that you're an honor student. you asked a question, you got an honest answer. You stated that you drink, "hook up" with boys, and have snuck out. What did you expect people to say....."way to go!"?
I'm sorry you've had some problems. Obviously there's more here to your story than we all know. But the answer is still the same......act like an adult, and if you're having some serious issues like you've mentioned.......then don't use them as an excuse for wrong behavior......get help. There are counselors out there who should and could help you. It's your parent's responsibility to help you get the counseling and support you need. In the meantime, those problems you mentioned have nothing to do with your behavior. Let me put it this way.......we as parents have a duty to keep our children safe. If that means they're mad at us, we dont' care......we want our kids safe and doing the right thing. If you can't tell your parents what you're doing, then you shouldn't be doing it. You've lost their trust, it will take twice as long to earn it back. Talk honestly with them about how you feel........and if you can't trust them with your feelings, find someone who you DO trust, like a friend's parent or a teacher. When I was a teenager, my parents were VERY strict and I hated every second of it. Now I'm an adult and I look back and say, "thank God they were like that, cause I would have gotten in so much trouble". And I'll be the same with my children. Good luck.

Answer 2

Well, dear you are at an age where people still view you as a child. If you want to be able to make decisions for yourself you are going to have to learn to make responsible decisions. Trust implies that a person has good judgement.

First, you. You've had some very traumatic things happen at a very young age. Do seek out someone you trust to discuss these things with confidentlially. Like a counselor at school.....you've got a whole lot of issues you need to unload before any of your relationships are going to be functional.

Try to really understand what this person is going to say. If you don't understand, ask. Your first priority is you. Number one rule of responsible decision making.

When you sense that some of your injuries are beginning to heal, then you can begin to repair your relationship
with your parents. You will be in the position of Teacher. You must teach them about the person you are becoming. Think about what they expect: respect, truth, some household cooperation. It is not unreasonable. They also expect that you will not harm their child. If they do get scared and think you will hurt her, then you will live forever in lockdown.

Have little conversations with them about the things you are doing to become independent. Show them that you can keep up with your room, pull good grades, be where you say you are going to be and home when you say you are going to be home. Dress like a young adult. People process visual input first.

As far as introducing a sexual relationship into your life now, I wouldn't do it. Anyone any age needs healing for the traumas you have endured. Let that heal.

When you are ready to bring a sexual relationship into your life, make sure you go to your doctor or a clinic and choose a birth control. Follow the instructions. Exactly. Always use a condom to prevent transmission of STD's. (Absolutely rampant.) Do not get pregnant. Take the time become your adult self. It is a beautiful journey.

Talk to your man and tell him what you are doing. Tell him you love him and want to be the best person you can be. Tell him you need time to heal. See if he can respect your decision.

Always respond when speaking to people. Do not react. Take a deep breath, think about what you would say to a trusted friend, and respond. Be the Teacher.

You can do this dear, it is hard, but you did ask the question....and for that I commend you. You are going to be fine. Give everyone some time to grow and learn. Be the Teacher.

Answer 3

deliver them some plant life?Invite them around for a meal? You havent suggested your age, because of the fact based on the age's relies upon on the rather some issues you're able to do! flow around once you comprehend the daughter could no longer be at homestead and clarify to the mothers and dads that "you particularly look after their daughter, and could never dream of wounding her" they'll slowly start to have confidence you. it may be complicated, yet wil this is nicely worth it ? wish this facilitates, Gina ~xXx~

Answer 4

do what i do! get good grades and say your going to a friends house but go to another! wait i dont get good grades and my parents dont give 2 $hit were i go what i do so i cant help you there!