What exactly does it mean to"bond with a bird"? My husband and I bought a baby African Grey.?

Question

From the time she was just a bundle of down I hand fed her fruits and veggies and she would nap on my chest while my husband was just her playmate. Now she's 15 weeks old and a fully feathered bird. She still seems to have great affection for both of us. I fear that she will lose her affection for one of us. Do you think she can have a loving relationship with the both of us?

A note to David S: if you don't know anything about birds, why bother responding to questions in this forum?

Answer 1

Of course you can!
My Grey will be four in March, and he is quite bonded to a "Flock" of people numbering about 7. Of course he loves me, but he has many friends and loves them as well. He seems to develop his own relationshipo with each person he recognizes as a friend.
But he will go to anyone if I request it. The way to get your Grey to do this, is to make sure that many, many people handle her. I once took my Grey to Key West with me and had to spend a considerable amount of time answering questions and setting him up to perch on tourists hands while they had their photo taken with him. He is quite friendly and very willing to step up to anyone as long as I use a "cue" giving him the okay to step up to a person he doesn't know. This prevents problems with someone who is obviously not in the right condition or frame of mind to handle a parrot.i.e.: drunk or crazy. You tend to get all kinds when you have a parrot with you.
He got quite used to the exposure after he became my "Demo" bird at schools and clubs for presentation purposes.
Please do not believe what you read about Greys being one-person birds. It simply isn't true. As with anything, you get what you reinforce. If you expose her to lots of people and lots of situations, she will not fear it. A car ride will be fun but very matter of fact and rather Ho-Hum to her. If a bird is not exposed to this and not used to it, it might be the terror ride to hell. It all depends on what you expose her to.
By sharing the feeding, cleaning, training and caring responsibilities, and making sure you both have one-on-one time with her, you can probably end up with a very equally loving situation with her.
I have been following your history with "Baby Grey" with great interest ever since I answered your first question about her chewing the buttons on your shirt.
Is she okay? You had a problem there for a while with her. Is she home with you and your husband now?
At 15 weeks, now is the time to begin learning about positive reinforcement training. Training is a bonding process as well as a form of communication. You spend one-on-one time with "Baby Grey" and she feels like she is accomplishing something because you are teaching her something that she can do that she is praised for. Catch her doing "good things" and praise her for that. She'll do it again!
I have lots of suggestions for you and if you are interested, there is an online class you can take called, LLP: Living and Learning With Parrots. It is conducted by Dr. Susan Friedman, a Behaviorist and Professor of Psychology at Utah State University.
Steve Martin, of Natural Encounters Inc. has a week long seminar in Lake Wales Florida that would blow your mind if you are into birds. You learn a ton of stuff and have the opportunity of workshops and you learn to handle all kinds of birds including raptors and the big guys, like Hyacinths, owls, Vultures, and hawks.
It's a great class and a great educational process.
If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to contact me.

If I may add a note about David S:

According to the CITES treaty, it is illegal to import African Greys into this country. Professor Grey's bird is a captive raised U.S. hatched baby. This is perfectly legal, and far preferred to poaching wild birds and smuggling them into this country. If you would be so kind, do your research before being so contrary and vindictive about a subject you obviously know nothing about. May I suggest you learn to contribute to this forum as opposed to demonstrating how much you simply do not know? Thank you.

Answer 2

African Grey's are a very smart bird. The remember the good as well as the bad, just as in human babies. Grey's need to feel a little more secure than some other breeds and its wise to place their cage in the corner of a room or just drape a towel over a corner of the cage. Sometimes just like with all social creatures they just need some quiet time. Remember that as your bird gets older it will look for the same amount of attention that it has been used to during the first year of it's life. When a bird is given less attention they can become frustrated and neurotic plucking their own feathers until they have a bald chest and legs. They may also lash out violently with the person who stopped giving them the attention and become more loving with everyone else. This is a form of torture to any bird and being social creatures would have much more interaction with others in the wild. This is why it's very important to give your bird toys besides your own love to keep them occupied when your gone. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Yes, I do think she can have a loving relationship with both of you.


To start off with, there are are many explanations of "bonding with a bird." They pretty much mean to spend quality time. It seams as if you have spent quality time because of the hand feeding and naps. If your bird was not hand fed, if would be harder to spend time with her. Handfeeding gives a nother meaning to bonding.
Also, to keep your african grey from being attachted to just one of you, you can do many things. First, just make sure that you and your husband both spend time with her. If only one of you spends time with her, she will turn into a one person bird.
If that happens, she will end up being mean and biting anyother people that try to hold her.
Second, try to take her out on a daily basis.Taking her out will soon set in a routine. She will be waiting often for you and your husband to take her out. If possible, try to have both of you there while taking her out.If you neglect taking her out of the cage she may get bored, and become sick.

Third try moving her cage near the living room, if not already. There she will be entertained by the constant motion. If you can not put the cage near the living room, just make sure it is close to a heavy traffic area.
Last, do every day projects with her. Such as letting her ride on either of your shoulders while changing her water, or reading the newspaper.In turn she will be a very socialized, happy bird.

I hope my advise will help you!

Answer 4

Hi "prof grey", I'll have to agree with "Phoenix". I lived with a family that had 10 different species of "BIRDS". Everything from, Macaw's to Finches. I was very "intimidated" at first, being a stranger and all. However, my work schedule allowed me to be their primary care-giver. And I will admit, the Macaw's, Cockatoo's and even the Finches didn't take well to me...it was the beautiful "African-Grey" that loved me the most! So I would set my worries on the "back-burner...for now! XOXO Moonpie

Answer 5

To bond with a bird means to earn her trust and become accepted as part of their "flock". It is possible to continue a loving relationship with both of you, provided that both of you interact with her, both care for her and both teach and train her. I have a rescued grey who is 3 yrs old and was badly abused at her previous home. Although I am the only one that she trusts at this time, we are currently working on building a trusting relationship with the rest of the family. It is harder with greys because they tend to be one person birds, but if raised by you both from the beginning you should have better luck.

Answer 6

If you both continue to spend equal amounts of time with her and both show her love, affection and both share equally in the feeding and cleaning of her cage, it's possible she might stay loving to both of you. I have a Senegal parrot and as it turned out he's bonded to me and me only. He wants absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. It can be a pain at times, especially when he gets into one of his overly protective moods and feels as though he has to "attack" anyone who comes near me.
Just keep things up they way you and your husband are with your bird and hopefully you'll have better luck than I did.

Answer 7

Shave your head and then smear super glue on it, then press the bird's feet down on the glue and hold for a minute or so. Presto: you're bonded with a bird. Ask John "The Birdman" Bryant for the details.

I congratulate you. If you just HAD to take into your house something from Africa, a bird was probably the wisest, safest, and least disgusting choice you could have made.

Answer 8

A lot of birds will bond with a family, but bonds mostly with one member and that family member becomes the birds " buddy" and they'll dote on that one person........

Answer 9

I think you will always have great success with your african grey..
Just keep reinforcing the attention every day...handle your bird
You are lucky -cool bird and friend
The bird's lucky too.

Answer 10

Obviously you are her mom. Read about Konrad Lorenz and the geese. I think she will continue to think of you as her mom and your hubby as perhaps another bird in the flock.