I have just had a phone call off my sons gf. She was really distressed, saying my son is drunk and abusive, and i could hear him in the background smashing the house up. He is suffering ptss, after going to war, so i told her to let me speak to him, but he would not talk to me, called me a *****, and slag, we usually are so close, this shocked me. I pleaded to talk to him, but he was too gone, and she was scared! I have phoned the police to go round there, to settle the situation, but i am in tears here, i feel so helpless, did i do the right thing? I don`t want to get him into any trouble, but i was in fear for his gf, he loses it, with his ptss, am i a bad mum? will he hate me for this?
2006-10-03 10:07:59 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your not a bad mom, dont ever think that! You did the right thing. Your son is going through a really bad time right now, poor guy. I couldnt imagine! If his GF was scared for her life, it was a good thing to do. I dont think you could have gotten him to calm down. The police with handle the situation. He will thank you for it later. Dont worry you did the right thing!! I wish him well. I cant imagine what he must be feeling like after going to war! I wish you and your son well.
2006-10-03 10:12:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely did the right thing. You kept your son's GF from enduring potential harm/distress and your son from going to jail for something far more serious than being drunk and destroying property. You did the only thing you could do and I'm sure it is distressing. You will, of course, worry that your son will be angry at you and this may cause some rift between the two of you. That might indeed happen, but what choice did you have? Would you keep from calling if it meant your son wouldn't be angry at you? What if he had hurt his GF and gone to jail? Would you be okay with that as long as he wasn't mad at you? Doesn't sound like it - you seem like someone who struggled with a tough decision that could ultimately affect your relationship with your son, but you made the right choice in calling for interference.
Your son may be angry today, but if he can find comfort from counseling, therapy or support somehow and reconcile his feelings of grief, anger, fear, and sadness over war, he will thank you for your selfless actions of today.
I sincerely hope it all works out for yourself and your son.
2006-10-03 17:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by Grá 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing. Being under the influence he is not thinking straight. He will regret it in the morning and will be glad you intervened as something terrible could have happened. And could possibly still happen if he does not get help. I too suffered ptts after being in the wrong place at the wrong time when a car bomb went off in Northern Ireland. It took me many years to overcome this. But counselling really helped. Also talking to people who had a similar experience. I wish you all the best and hope your son has the strength and willpower to help himself. x
2006-10-03 18:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by Teresa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should check himself in to a hospital that deals with PTSS. You did the right thing. Your son is just in so much pain and suffering, he can't really see what's going on.
2006-10-03 17:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not a bad mum, what else could you do ? they involved you by phoning, you could not go round and sort it out yourself could you ? his girl friend may have been in danger, he was not himself was he ??,. When things calm down they may thank you. You did it because YOU DO CARE, this could have been a cry for help from your son. Tomorrow try to follow this through, talk to them both, see if other help is available, now you have involved the police things are more out in the open, maybe this will help, good luck !!!
2006-10-03 17:17:54 · answer #5 · answered by Dolly Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad mum at all. You have done just the right thing. Once he recovers he will understand. Hopefully he will get the help he needs. Have a good cry, it's a bumpy ride ahead. Take care, sound like you need a hug- hope someone is around to give one to you xxxx
2006-10-03 17:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing, unfortunatley he was drunk, and when your drunk you get angry, the best thing for him is to sober up at the clink. When is sober you three need to sit down and settle this like adults. And no your not a bad mother and if he does hate you than he doesnt deserve you as a mother.
2006-10-03 17:11:01 · answer #7 · answered by The infamous bongblaster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. The police will understand.I'm sure he didn't mean what he said and will really regret it tomorrow which will make him feel even worse. He obviously needs professional help though to get emotions and feelings out. I thought the Military would have offered better support.
2006-10-03 17:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by Steven S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you did the right thing. He needs to get some help - doesn't your government offer some kind of support for post traumatic stress? He needs to get help from a therapist, and you have probably just started him on the road to recovery. You should refer to this site: http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts/general/fs_what_is_ptsd.html
It may provide some info to help you. This is terrible behaviour on behalf of the government, if they don't offer some sort of assistance for your men serving their country.
2006-10-03 17:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by iliketorideigohago 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I served in the gulf in 1991.Friends of mine did suffer some problems after and i was changed when i came back.These things can take time when you get back,although i think some squaddies can use ptsd as an excuse for bad behaviour.Your his mum just do what you think is right.If i can help further please get in touch.
2006-10-03 17:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by Rob T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋