My girlfriend says that I am gentle, attentive and affectionate, but that when it comes to communicating feelings, there is this big wall between us and she can't seem to break it.
We have been dating a month and I already love her more then I thought possbile. I am divorsed and don't want to get hurt again, but she really could be the one.
She says, she thinks I am amazing, but that she deserves all of me, and can't date me for 'someday' or my 'potential'. I give her everything I have to give.
Now it's over. The longer this relationship grows, the more she finds herself withdrawing emotionally so that she isn't 'vulnerable out there by herself'.
She is a beautiful, together, secure, confident woman, with a child and a career that is very good with communication skills.
So, why do girls need to HEAR nice things?
2006-10-03 09:27:37 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it makes us feel good and smile.
dont you like to see a girl smile?
2006-10-03 09:29:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although we ALL seek the external beauty in people when we are first looking for our "soul mates," what REALLY counts is on the inside.
From what you are saying, it sounds like you have been hurt VERY much from your divorce and are having some "issues" with communication ("I am divorced and don't want to get hurt again). Well, the "game of love" is a dangerous one my friend and whenever one of us chooses to "enter the game," there is no guarantee that you will never get hurt again. There is no guarantee that someone will love you the way you love that person. Love can be great but it can also hurt very much (telling you this from experience).
If you think you need professional help to help with your "scars," don't be afraid to get some. If you really love this woman and she loves you tell her, say "honey I don't want to lose you and I am going to speak to someone about it."
If she is truly a confident and secure woman WITH a child, she is looking for a stable man, both $$$ and emotionally. Dude, take a deep breath, let go of the past (the emotional scars), seek help and don't lose your woman!!!
2006-10-03 09:37:03 · answer #2 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Women are all very emotional. A woman measures her self worth on how she feels about herself. Which alot of how we feel about ourself is how the "man" we love makes us feel. Which is not right really, women need to love theirself first, before they can be loved. If a Man says nice things to the woman he loves everyday, this woman will be so confident and want to love the man back. Its hard to love a man who does not show us feelings.
Alot of women have had affairs, although I believe affairs are wrong, some women have been heard saying that "they had an affair, because there man was not sensitive enough, and make her feel special" although that is no excuse. It happens.
A woman HAS to know everyday how special she is. She has to hear it, You say it once thats fine, but women need to hear it, not the same line everyday, just how special they are, how loved they are, in different ways each day.
Find different ways to tell her how Beautiful she is, Find different ways to tell her how special she is.
Once in awhile leave her a love note where she can find it, send her a rose, buy her a card, There are so many ways you can say it.
2006-10-03 09:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok this one is for me. Women need to hear nice things, just as much as MEN need to hear nice things. You said yourself, she told you how you are gentle and affectionate - and I'm sure when she said that, it made you feel good! We don't need men to sound sickening sweet or make up some silly things JUST to have something nice to say. YOU SAID IT ALL IN YOUR POSTING! Tell her how you think she is amazing - having a career AND being a great mom at the same time! Compliment her on how she looks - (but I don't mean "hey baby you got some nice tata's!) - I mean, run your fingers down the back of her hair and say "wow, your hair is so soft!" Or you can stroke her face and compliment her on how soft her skin is. Pay attention to what she's wearing - tell her she looks great in that skirt... Use your imagination. Women like to feel good about themselves, but they also like to know that their men feel good about them too!
2006-10-03 09:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
most woman are unsure of them selves but even a woman with confidence still likes to hear you say nice things once in a while notice her and say something not made up but really your feelings and it will be enough you don't have to get carried a way with it but just be truthful and it will make her happy most men are more with the hands and actions more than the talking and saying but practice a little if you do you will get more of what you want think about it if a woman thinks you find her se~xy she will give you a lot more se~x try it I know I speak the Truth when my man says I am sexy or hot I get very horny!!!!! but if you don't believe me just try it!!!!
2006-10-03 13:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by goldenchild 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude, you're totally over-thinking this.
Why do women want to hear nice things (presumably about themselves)? For the same reason that guys want to hear good things about THEMselves.
ALL of us have egos and ALL of us want to have those egos stroked & petted & inflated once in a while. What's the harm?? If you don't risk you'll never gain.
If you think this woman's the one, then tell her what she wants to hear and stop being such a stodgy old goat!
2006-10-03 09:33:20 · answer #6 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They need constant reminders and reassurances they are not wasting their time with someone who may turn out to be a loser so they don't commit. We are a lot more vulnerable than guys, we crush easily so we must be careful more of the marriage trap. Your woman is scared....more women should be.
2006-10-03 13:15:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry about it...girls are dumb and don't know what they want. One day they tell you things are great...the next day, you are a complete f%$& up and you can never do anything right. The funny thing is, you aren't doing anything different. Just do what the rest of us do...stare at their boobs and stop listening...It just works better that way...You are just giving them what they already expect...
2006-10-03 09:31:35 · answer #8 · answered by Billy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We are kind of mushy that way I guess but I think guys need to hear nice things as well
2006-10-03 09:32:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
being reasured and loved are great in a relationship. maybe she just wants to make sure she's on the same page with you and that she's not wasting valuable time. look at it this way...men are said to be visual...women said to be more audiable? lol nvm
2006-10-03 09:31:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋