2006-10-03 09:03:15 · 12 answers · asked by juany 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Blond Logic
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking and one blonde says to the other,
"Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"
Car Trouble
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
Speeding Ticket
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!
River Walk
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."
At the doctors office
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
2006-10-03 09:19:07 · answer #1 · answered by babyblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blind man went into the Ladies Only bar-room of a pub. He reached a bar stool and asked for a pint.
After sitting there for a bit, he shouted to the barmaid, "Heard the latest blonde joke?"
The room immediately went very quiet.
In a deep, husky voice, a woman sitting near him said, "Young man, before you tell that joke, as I notice you're blind, I ought to tell you five things:
1. The barmaid is a blonde.
2. The bouncer is a blonde woman.
3. I'm female, blonde, 6 feet tall and weigh 16 stone. I'm also a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The woman on your right is blonde and also a professional wrestler.
So, think about it seriously, young man. Do you still want to tell us that joke?"
The blind man thought for a second, shook his head, and said...
"Well.... no. not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."
Tee Hee
I'm blonde and I found it funny!!xx
2006-10-03 17:18:02 · answer #2 · answered by stiflersmom29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does a Blonde turn on the light after having sex?
Opens the car door!
2006-10-04 01:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by David C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"... isn't it?
October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911..."Duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
What a year!
2006-10-03 16:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all running from the police. They needed a place to hide, and so when they came upon three empty potato sacks they hid in them. When a policeman came along, he kicked on the sack with the brunette in it. "Meow," she said. Oh, the policeman thought, it's just a cat. He kicked the second sack, which had the redhead in it. "Woof," she said. Oh, he thought, it's just a dog. The policeman kicked the third sack, which the blonde was in. "Potatos, potatos, potatos," she said.
2006-10-03 17:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you put two blondes in a circular room, and you tell them that there is a $50 bill in one of the corners
(no offence to people with blonde hair)
2006-10-03 17:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by The Raging Monkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blond walks into a building...
And goes ouch.
A blond walks into a bar and goes ouch, it was an iron bar.
A male blond walks into a bar an goes ooooooooohhhhhhh it was a gay bar.
2006-10-03 16:28:26 · answer #7 · answered by How e' ye Horse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch-n-snif sticker at the bottom of the pool.
2006-10-03 17:13:13 · answer #8 · answered by katybeth212001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you know a blond has been on the computer...
there is white out on the screen
2006-10-03 16:14:48 · answer #9 · answered by darkpony6262 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how do you brainwash a blonde? step on her dousche bag
2006-10-03 16:06:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋