met a guy at the weekend - he's 10 years my senior. both just out long term r'ships, but both said we'd like to meet for a drink & see what happens.
he called shortly after & left message, but he was a bit nervous & stuttered & stammered a bit & said he felt like he was talking nonsense & making a fool of himself so he then started again and said it had been really nice to meet me & he'd def speak to me soon.
Not heard from him yet & wondered if it would be ok for me to contact him & see if he fancied a coffee or something?
is that ok to do? i've not dated for a while now!
This guy is pretty handsome & seems a nice guy, but there's a little insecurity inside me (prob from prev r'ship) that says he's not called cos he's not interested.
I reckon i've nothing to lose, but then.............
HELP!!??
2006-10-03 08:57:08 · 52 answers · asked by applespider 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
CALL HIM! He's not avoiding you because of you - you said yourself that he stammered and stuttered, he was nervous! He's probably afraid of embarrassing himself. Take the pressure off him - call him! Whats the worst that will happen? He won't answer? Or he won't call back? WOuld you be ok if that happened? If so, then just call him. He could very well be "the one"!!! I think if I guy stammers and stutters when he's trying to talk to you - it's actually sweet. THink about it like this - maybe YOU intimidate HIM!! He might think "your too pretty to like him" or something like that. Take a chance - nothing ventured, nothing gained! GOOD LUCK
2006-10-03 09:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's already made the first call..and probably felt foolish for being nervous & stammering on the phone. So, go ahead and call!!!
Tell him you got his message..thought it was cute that he was so nervous and assure him that you're just as nervous. Make the first meeting somewhere quiet and comfortable. You want to be able to sit across from him and talk without having to shout. Make sure it's during the day, a casual cup of coffe, possibly after work.Make sure there's no pressure, be yourself, but keep it like you're meeting your best girlfriend, so you're not seeing him as the next "Mr Right"..most important, have FUN. Enjoy the idea of a cup of coffee with a nice looking guy..flirt a little, but keep it light and be honest. Maybe he won't turn out to be THE ONE, but maybe he'll turn out to be a good friend.
2006-10-03 09:08:38 · answer #2 · answered by wassup 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is thte worst that can happen. He was probably feeling super nervous as he has come out of a relationship as well. By al means, get in touch with him. You have just as much right to make the moves as he does.
Go for it. If he says yes, then great, and if he said no, then at least you will know. either way, you get to know the true situation. You are in control of your life, and you have every opportunity to make the moves.
Enjoy and good luck.
2006-10-03 09:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, get back in touch straight away.
He's probably not called because he was embarassed at the message he left and assumed that he'd put you off (he is a bloke after all, and we don't think rationally!!)
As you say, nothing to lose, so give him a bell and tell him how lovely it was to hear from him so soon, and that you'd love to take him up on his offer to take you out - that way, he's done the asking and you've just rung to accept.
2006-10-03 09:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by sean6045 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any guy would feel flattered if a woman asked him out. He wouldn't have called if he didn't like you. He was just feeling as insecure as you are feeling. Didn't help that he was so nervous in his phone call to you.
He made the first move, now it's your turn to call him back and say hello. Coffee is always a good start :)
2006-10-03 09:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by roobs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's ABSOLUTELY ok for you to ask him out.
If I were you I'd make it a coffee or lunch 'date'. That way there's no embarassing 'do I invite him in for coffee' type situation!!
The fact that he was nervous and stuttered and stammered, would to me, indicate that he is very interested in you.
He's just being a little shy and lacks confidence where you are concerned.
I'm really rooting for you, and I have a lovely warm feeling about you both.
The very best of luck!!
Let us all know how you get on. We'll be dying to know!!
2006-10-03 09:10:39 · answer #6 · answered by Moofie's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first thought was sure why not,but then on second thought you do run the danger of looking cheap.Please am not trying to suggest you are.I think the old fassion way works.You need to know that he respects you and not that you are an easy lay.Let him do the work,if he is genuine you will know.Whatever hope you fall in love and live happily ever after.
2006-10-03 09:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by Rob T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK well if he wasn't interested he wouldn't have called the first time! so i think he was embarrassed at that way he was talking on the answering machine! so i think u should call him he just shy! u say he's older then you so he's probably thinking u will shoot him down cause he's older so he's trying 2 save himself the embarrassment call him girl before he gets away! and if your 2 shy just text him and say now how about those drink we talked about! good luck girl
2006-10-03 09:06:31 · answer #8 · answered by finenazfuk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it...what do you have to lose? Sometimes us women need to take charge of the situation! After you see him the first time then let him ask the next time just so you know he really is interested! Good luck
2006-10-03 09:00:25 · answer #9 · answered by Vina C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definately ok for a woman to ask a man out. You both sound nervous about it so coffee is a good idea, it's more casual than dinner. Good luck. x
2006-10-03 09:01:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋