My boyfriend tells me he's in love with me and that he adores me but this friday he's wanting to go hang out with his "guy friends" so he can go out and act stupid. I feel like Im being put on the back burner and his friends are ahead of me. If he feels so strongly about me then why does he treat me like this. He told me I had to just get over it because he hasnt got to hang out with them in a little while. I want him to stay with me and spend some time together but he wants to go out with his guys. I don't like feeling like this so should I dump him and just move on because he's so immature or should I feel this out?
2006-10-03 08:30:29 · 51 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, until you have actual proof that your boyfriend is doing anything other than hanging out with the boys, you can't get upset about it. Secondly, it is not healthy nor is it beneficial to the relationship if you spend all of your time together. You need time away from him to do your own thing just like he does. When you do that, by the time you see one another again, it is exciting and you will have much more to share with each other. Any marriage counselor or long-time married people will tell you that one of the main reasons relationships last is because one person is not completely dependent upon the other one to fill every minute of every day. You should feel confident enough in your relationship to say to him," hey cool go out and have a great time. I'll just talk to you later. Love ya." If you can't do that then there is something missing in this relationship and you should take a moment to step back and find out what exactly it is that you feel and want from it. I don't think that dumping him is the answer until you get your answers first. Best of luck to you!!
2006-10-03 08:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry i'm not trying to be rude but it sounds like he might need to dump you. Honey you can't spend every waking moment with your boyfriend that will seriously kill your relationship. He isn't being immature at all. He just wants to hang with the guys and do guy stuff. He can love and adore you without being up your @ss 24/7. Be considerate of his feelings and be understanding or your not going to keep him long. He'll feel caged and he'll leave you to get free no matter how much he loves you.
2006-10-03 08:37:50 · answer #2 · answered by K@t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get your act together. All couples need some time apart to spend time with their friends. They were there before you were, why do you feel he needs to choose between the two?
Let him go out and act stupid. Hopefully he wont do anything to ruin your relationship, but if he does, at least you know now, not 15 years from now. I would rather my boyfriend go act stupid with a bunch of his guy friends than embarrass me in front of our mutual friends.
I'm sure he is in love with you, so that should be enough. Take this time away from him to do something that you've been really wanting to do but have been putting off because you've been spending so much time with him, like a pedicure or to a goofy girlie movie you know he'd never go and see with you.
There is no need to dump him over this. It's healthy for your relationship to spend a little time away.
2006-10-03 08:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by Heather S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, my b/f told me the same thing. If I were you I would set aside a day that you two can hang out together and a day that you can both have time with your friends. You do need time with your friends all well as each other. Since he is going out this friday make plans with your friends, and plan a day with him on Saturday, that way you will have the best of both worlds. I doubt he is going to act stupid, he just wants time with the guys to talk about stuff that us girls could care less about.
2006-10-03 08:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by ridingis4life 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If this is an every weekend that he wants to hang with his boys and act stupid, then you have every reason to be concerned. If this is an occasional thing, then chill out. If you expect your guy to spend every waking second with you, expect to lead a fairly lonely life. You both need time to be with other people (meaning friends). He can still love you and want to be away from you for a night, it's not the end of the world.
2006-10-03 08:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to dump him because he wants to hang out and act like a stupid guy with his friends on Friday night??? He's a guy. Guys need guy time. Take advantage of it!! Hang out with the girls that night!!!
Being in love, being in a serious relationship with someone - does NOT involve being stapled at the hip. Retain your individuality.
I guess that means I vote for cutting the poor guy a little slack.
2006-10-03 08:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by Tish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have to give him time to be a guy to. Did he hang out with the guys before he was yur BF? IF he did why change him. IF he is just going to hang out with the guys what are u worried about. Worry if he want to hang out with some other girls. DO you ever hang out with the "girls"? I bet u do. IF u want to push him away go ahead and be mad for him wanting to be a guy. DO you not trust him? IF you do let him be a guy and do guy things this way when he does see u he will miss u more and cherish the time he does spend with you
2006-10-03 08:35:08 · answer #7 · answered by dunebugger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is okay for your bf or gf or husband or wife to go out with their friends sometimes. EVERYONE needs time away from their partner and that doesn't mean that they are "putting them on the back burner" and it doesn't mean that they aren't loved. I don't know what you mean by "act stupid" but if it is heavy partying and drugs and stuff then maybe you should dump him but if it is just to go out with his boys and have a good time then don't worry about it. If you are too clingy and stuff he might end up being the one to dump you ya know.
Good Luck :)
2006-10-03 08:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by Amaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In every healthy relationship there should be "me" time. He was his own individual when he came into this relationship and should be able to remain one. Time to do your own thing when in a relationship makes getting together so much sweeter.
Try and find some activities that u enjoy to do on your own and not just around his schedule. You need to keep up with your friends as well. After all, if you abandon your friends and it does not work out between u 2, then who will you have?
2006-10-03 08:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you keep feeling like this you're never going to have a good relationship. You are not in control of his life, so he needs to hang out with his friends. He probably knew them before he knew you so give him a break. If you dont like this, then dump him...even though it's a stupid reason too. A relationship takes more than love, keep that in mind hun
2006-10-03 08:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋