my oldest who is three is a perfect angel when her dad is home but the minute he leaves for work she turns into the devil incarnet. Is this just how it is with kids? I do all the same punishments that her father does but it means little to her when it comes from me. I was like this with my parents to when I was young. Should I just go with it and be like "I'm telling your father when he gets home". Then when her dad gets home from work inform him and let him handle it? She does listen to her dad more, I was curious if all girls are like this?
2006-10-03 07:38:28 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
maybe saying she is the devil incarnet is a bit harsh. but she does misbehave a lot. bitting, hitting, and pushing her little sister around. this behavior is not cute and not acceptable. I love my daughter and give her praise when she is go, even give her small rewards when she is helpful. I was only curious about the daddy thing.
2006-10-03 08:30:48 · update #1
Kids are harder on their mothers for this reason: You are the only one she needs to rebel against.
Did daddy wipe her backside, stay up all night with her, teach her to eat food, give her all those medicines, go without sleep for her for weeks on end?
No, You did, and so your daughter has to prove she is a real independant person ONLY to you - because you are the one who has done everything for her all of her life, and you have been with her when she was most helpless.
That's why. NOW get cracking on being tough with her, and sort her out!
2006-10-03 18:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are usually the ones left to do the discipline. If that is the case in your house, try holding back on the wait til your dad gets home talk and be more assertive. In many houses it is dad that lays down the law, so the children have more of a fear of punishment when dad is around. If you both discipline equally and with the same consequences you will probably find the same level of respect no matter which parent is home.
2006-10-03 08:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by David W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids are the same way. They do not see there dad as much. He works nights. They see him on the weekends. They are so sick of me by the weekend that they will do anything for some daddy time. Talk to you husband and daughter and see if you can come to an understanding about how things need to be in your house. Make her tell her dad when she does something wrong. That stops my son from doing a lot of things.
2006-10-03 08:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by dr's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My children are adults now but they have told my husband that I was a bigger pushover. They knew that they could not get away with the things that they did while he wasn't there. In my case, I showed more mercy whereas everything is black or white, right or wrong to my husband. I think that they will challenge the person who will give in to what they want more.
And kids know that you are a push over because you use the words "I am going to tell your father when he gets home." You don't handle it. He does. That is why they fear and respect him more. You have to discipline her in the same way that dad would. You both need to be consistent. She will try you to see who will win. Her or you and so far she is the victor.
2006-10-03 07:49:36 · answer #4 · answered by rltouhe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I am the primary disciplinarian. I am not saying Dad is not involved in that aspect--but when it gets down to brass tacks it is my paddle that does the talking.
Please don't do the "until your father gets home" thing. I think that is very ineffective. A little kid if they misbehave and they have been told or know better needs to get immediate feedback. And in that situation it usually means whatever way you punish your child. If you consistently do this I don't think you will have this problem.
I don't know if you believe in spanking--but if not--you might want to reconsider it--it does kinda give Mom "the upper hand". If I just say "Should I go get the paddle?' I usually get miraculous attitude adjustments.
I just noticed you were specifically asking about girls--mine are girls as well.
2006-10-03 20:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Strange phenomena. My daughter was like that with my wife too. Don't know why. But the best advice I can give young parents is to be consistent and stick to the disciplinary action. Consistency is the key. Don't say you will do something and then not do it when you've been pushed. Daddy and mommy must be on the same page when it comes to discipline. May help, good luck.
2006-10-03 07:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by hartovalion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be like the evil big sister who tells on her little ones every single day. Trying to also met out similar punishments as your husband wouldn't do any good and your kids will finally realise it at some point. Just be yourself, cool and understanding as possible and make sure you take the stance as the mom when it comes to disciplining the children. But do not overdo things as they always turn out wrong. All you've gotta do is be cool and find your own gentle way of dealing with your kids withut nicking daddy's style.
2006-10-03 07:46:47 · answer #7 · answered by tyana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm having the same problem you are but with 2 little boys. What has worked for me is to try and be more the disciplinary one and they are actually listening better and acting better. I find it everytime their father has dealt with a problem later they have forgotten about it and do not know what they are being punished for. Plus I think if I threaten them with their father they just think that I'm just a push over and then they can get away with more later so I nip it in the bud. Or try to.
2006-10-03 08:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by Angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. They behave for any parent they respect. Threatening her with "when Daddy gets home" only serves to reinforce for her that you have no authority on your own. You need to closely examine how you are talking to her. Don't yell - speak quietly. Impose consequences and follow up. Don't tell her over and over not to do something. Tell her once and let her know that if she doesn't stop, she will be in time out for three minutes (one minute for each year of life). If she does it again, FOLLOW THROUGH. If she gets up from the time out corner, don't speak to her, just calmly put her back there. Do this over and over until she has sat there for three minutes. Then let her out but tell her you will not tolerate that behavior. If she does it again, repeat. The key is to be calm but authoritative. It may take a few days for her to reevaluate you as worthy of respect but once she does, you will have a whole new relationship with her.
2006-10-03 07:45:41 · answer #9 · answered by auskan2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is becuase your child knows she cant get away with it when daddy is around. I have seen the exact opposite where children wont back talk the mother at all and will turn into the devil when dad is around it just depends on the parents attitude.
2006-10-03 07:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by Sentient6 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋