guys and girls. have you ever tried to break up with someone but something kept pulling you back to them? i am torn between staying with my guy or just leaving him, we've been together for a year and i want out. i have a hard time trusting men and thats something i have to deal with. im just not happy with the way things are going. he gives me attention, we go out and spend time with my daughter and if i need something he will help me but i dont trust him at all. i feel that most guys i have been with are full of crap so why should he be any different. our relationship has been rocky, i havent been wanting to spend time with him, i just feel like i need to be alone. he keeps saying that he doesnt want me to leave him. i think its some bs. i told him that i might come over to talk to him about whats going on, i find it hard expressing myself about these things. has anyone been through this? how did it work out?
2006-10-03 07:37:25 · 18 answers · asked by MiaDiva28 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow you sound just like me ever since i can remember the men in my life have always hurt me and i am scared to trust men. its a way to make sure you dont get hurt agian.
you put up your walls and you dont let anyome get close to your heart so you dont have to have your heart broken
it seems like you have gone through a lot. its tough to get back up when things get rough but it sounds like you have and you must be really tough and strong to do that.
but its sounds like this guy didnt just want a booty call and he is going to stay with you becuase unlike the other man in your life, he really just wants you, not what you can do for him or what you have to offer, he got to know you and he wants you for you
Now to the trusting thing i know its really hard to let your guard down and trust someone but if this guy hasnt given you a reason to not trust him in the past year then there is no reason to not trust him.
he takes care of you and is there when you need him and he wants to spend time with you and more importantly your daughter he gives you love and he is stays with you even when things get rough. no affense but what else do you want.
unless he isnt as good as you say he is or he is abusive or he cheats or something like that, then i wouldnt give up a great thing like that.
dont let your fear of getting hurt and then being alone make you run from this guy because all that will get you is being alone and regret for letting him go
i wish you all the luck in the world and i trully hope things work out for you
2006-10-03 08:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl i feel u i been there and done that!! if he has giving u a reason not 2 trust him then u been should have left! but if u are just insincere like i was then u should leave ,because u will never trust him! u will have it in the back of your mind that he's not doing right and u will be unhappy anyways just by the thought of it! so i think u need 2 just let go! but girl trust me when i say all men are not dogs just gotta work on the way u look at them and yourself! hope i helped a lil! good luck girl!
2006-10-03 14:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by finenazfuk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well with no trust there is no relationship so technically you have been single for a while now. Men are sensitive dear be gentle with their hearts men cheat so they dont get hurt and it makes them feel better(of course that is when they are single if they cheat when their married that is a completley different story) But inn your case you are the one with the problems. Not at all to be rude but you have a serious lack of trust with which will prohibit you from ever trully finding love. I have a friend with your problem and she is always looking through his stuff and checking his my space and it is all due to lack of trust within the relationship. Im not sure what to make of a situation like that. Your best bet would be to stay single for a while when you are ready to settle down and you know your ready then the person you choose to be with will be what you have always wanted. If he has given you no reason not to trust him then its you who are in the wrong.
2006-10-03 14:45:47 · answer #3 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mia, be careful not to lump your current BF in with all the crappy ex's, just because he is a guy.
Yes, guys do tend to have a lot of traits in common, but each and every human on the planet is different, so make sure you get to know HIM.
Plus, it doesn't sound like he's done anything to make you mistrust him, so if I were you, I'd stick it out and look for those things that made you fall for him in the first place. And rather than pulling away, just make some time for yourself and be honest with him about your own PERSONAL trust issues.
2006-10-03 14:42:10 · answer #4 · answered by maat13101 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him leave. You don't wonna stick around and 3 years from now still feel the same way. Maybe its female intuition, and you just can't put your finger on why you need to leave. But don't stay because he wants you to, or because of the things he does for you and your daughter. Do whats best for you. Try and be friends for awhile maybe you will change your mind.
2006-10-03 14:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to leave, you should. It wouldn't be fair for either of you. I'd admire that you know what you need to work on, much kudos to you. If he loves you, he will be able to understand what you need to do for yourself. Once you are able to work on your situation, then maybe you can rekindle what you two have. It's hard to trust people, but there is no relationship if there is no trust. Reconnect with YOU and work things out for yourself! You'll be fine! :) There are guys out there who will treat you the way you deserve!
2006-10-03 14:40:53 · answer #6 · answered by marypaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this sounds like its more about you than him, from what you have said he sounds like he is doing everything right and its your issues that are the problem here. maybe having some time out and getting some help for your trust issues is a good idea, either that or let him work with you on this, good men don't come along that often so don't blow it because some other jerk messed with your head.
2006-10-03 14:42:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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communication and understanding. That's what I figured out so
far. If you are down, you need to get up and start doing something with
your life. Don't need to be shy, be straight forward and allways say what
you want and expect from the others.
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2006-10-03 14:45:35 · answer #8 · answered by b b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Has he cheated on you or was it someone else who made you like this? You really didn't really say what he did to you personally. I'd say, talk to him and express yourself the way you've done on here. Let him know about your trust issues and see what he says.
2006-10-03 14:41:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a councillor. It sounds like you have a great man and you are throwing him out because of your past history. This is him this is now, start fresh with that thought. but get help
2006-10-03 14:42:20 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋