Why are young mothers considered “bad” when it was normal years ago?

Question

30-40 years ago many women graduated high school and married soon after. Many adults born in the 50’s and 60’s were children of parents who were in their late teens and early 20’s.

These young mothers seemed to raise their children just fine, in fact my grandparents were in their early 20’s when they had my parents, and my parents are great people with wonderful childhoods!

Now it seems like if a woman has her first child before her late 20’s everyone talks about how young she is and how she is wasting her youth.

What is with our society’s attitude towards young mothers? They are in their prime to have children, women are most fertile and healthy from 18-24 for a reason!

In 10 years are people going to say a 30 year old is crazy to think about having her first baby and that is too young?

What do you think?


-Married guy with a wife in her mid 20’s with no kids yet.

Yes, we are planning to start our family in the next year. :)

Answer 1

I think what you're describing is the difference people felt towards a married couple in their 20's having a child and the now backlash for unmarried mothers in their 20's. I had my first (and only child for while until I get married) baby boy when I was 22 years old. It's been hard, but the guy left me after being engaged and dating for almost 7 years, so I think my family is being so supportive because they feel bad for me. I'm going to college and graduate in May! Thank you family!

Answer 2

Probably because attitudes towards women have changed across the board since then. Since the 1970s, the number of women who have gone to college, sought careers, etc. has skyrocketed. That's not to say that many don't want to have kids young...many women in their late teens and early 20s do. But, they have so many other options and opportunities now than women in in the 50s, when the options were either a)get married and pregnant or b)become an "old maid" or "spinster."

Also, the concept of marriage back then was different. These young women had some semblance of security that the man who got them pregnant (that is husband, generally NOT boyfriend) was going to stick around and provide...not necessarily so today. Many women feel (and rightfully so!) that they need to be in a position to be able to provide for themselves and their children by themselves, without a man necessarily involved. This means going to college and/or establishing in a career first to ensure this, which means pushing the childbearing age to a little older.

Answer 3

It's not necessarily bad to be a mother young, depends on how ready the woman (and man) is mentally and financially. The problem today is too many young women that still behave like children themselves having babies in their teens and 20's with no support system, no father, and no money.

Years ago, society was different. People raised their kids to be prepared to be adults. It seems parent today want to keep their kids as kids forever and fail to teach them what they need to know to be a responsible adult. So it takes these poor kids till their 30's to learn it for themselves. America today is also different financially. It is near impossible to raise a family in modern America without both parents working and making an income. Years ago, it was not difficult for a man to leave high school and immediately get a well paying and stable job, only intellectuals went to college. Most of those jobs have now been sent overseas.

Also years ago women didn't have many other choices. Today a woman that has a child at 18 has just shut the doors on most other possibilities in her life. So she needs to make sure she takes time to do the things she wants to do and gets to know herself before having kids or she will end up resenting her own children when she sees all the things other women without kids are getting to do.

Finally, years ago the average age of death was lower, in the 1920's I believe it was like 45-50. So, they didn't have as long to live and establish a family (and kids were free farm labor). Today people live till 75 or older.

Answer 4

Well I was 16 when I hade my frist baby and the hole damn family was trying to get me to kill it ,I was not having that they thought I was too young didnt know what I was doing they thought I was not going to get through high school.They was wrong I have 4 kids all girls ages 7,4,2,3 I got through high school I have always hade a job I make over 15 dollors my kids are happy, they have everything they wont and need,I am not married but am with my kids father I dont wont to be married at all. I hope yall be even happyer when you have kids it is not all that heard,I did it I am still doing it who cares what people think about you as long as you are going to have a baby for all the right reasons make sure you have room in your life to love someone else and have the money because you'll need a lot of it.The baby is your life it never go away. But good luck in your life keep your mind open when it come to kids they are really funnie people.P.S i am 24

Answer 5

Times have changed and so have opportunities for young. During those times, things were very hard for some of us and that is the way things were. There were not very many chances for young parents to go to school unless their parents were rich and they could pay for it, otherwise it was off to the oilfield or some other job that a father had to take to support his family. Nowadays, there is much more opportunity and things don't have to be that way anymore. Now everyone has a chance to do something with themselves and get out of the rut that was laid down before their were born. All parents know this and don't want their children to suffer as they have. I bet if you asked your parents, they could tell you. There is no excuse for a teenager to get pregnant. A child is not supposed to have a child. Enjoy your youth, you don't want to regret it later. Get an education and be a good example to your children. Show that you can do whatever you want to do if you just put your mind to it. Sounds cliche but it is true. A teenager should be a teenager, not a parent.

Answer 6

I think people make judgments based on what they want, not what's good for that person. I know several of my girlfriends had children early and loved it. I also know some that are now unhappy and regressing into party mode because they were not ready.
It's really what works for you. It's hard to know that with all the media influences around you. It's not about what your parents did, your grandparents, your best friend or your worst enemy. It's where am I at in life now? Do I want children? Am I ready to dedicate the next 18 years of my life to raise an independent, intelligent child?
I personally am not. I know I'm still too selfish with my time to want that kind of responsibility. But, hey, that's just me.

Answer 7

I am ,Isuppose classed as still young at only 35! I had my first child when I was 18 and was a young mum of two by the time I was 20, but if I could go back even though I adore my children, Iwas far to young. My son is now a young man in the eyes of the law but to me he is still a boy yet Iwas a mother at his age.I was with their father at 16 and am still married not bad ! Hard work though.

Answer 8

ya women didnt go to college back then either, and they didnt HAVE too. in this day and age thats pretty much a requirement to make it. society is more materialistic also and lets face it, crap just costs more. gas, water, electricity, whatever. So its pretty important for a women to have at least some types of skills to be able to help provide for her family. My mother and my aunt both got pregnant and married at age 18, and both have paid the price for that the rest of their lives. my father and my uncle were NOT responsible "adults" and did not take care of their children. I think the huge point here is that when you are very young, you dont really know enough about yourself to make good decisions about getting married, and having children. It takes age, and experience to understand what you want in life. a lot of this "bad" attitude you are talkign about is more toward young mothers who are NOT married also, thats a big part of it. jmo tho.

Answer 9

Me personally, I dont think that a woman is too young or too old to have a baby. The problem is that most young people are not responsible enough to have a child. Right now we are all about partying and being free. That is why old people say that we are wasting our youth. I dont think that we are wasting anything, having children is based on if we are ready or not and are we ready to give up our freedom. They think that most of us are not. Being married is something else all together. If you are married that is your decision on whether or not you think you are ready to have children. That should be based on what you and your wife thinks only.

Answer 10

People naturally assume a child was unwanted or unplanned-for if the mother is around 20. The attitude is just an automatic thing, I would say. Are people gossipping about things she does and are you both trying to get pregnant sometime soon (I mean planning to have a family of course)?