i have always let my daughter sleep w/ me, but a month ago, we moved in w/ my long time boyfriend and she will not sleep in her own bed and she doesn't want to do anything alone - she cries if i tell her to play in her room for awhile so i can cook, etc.
2006-10-03 07:20:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I just actually got my 6 year old daughter to sleep by her self. Instead of getting frustrated with her, which was hard, I laid her down in her own bed and read her a book or talked for a while. Then I would explain to her that she is a big girl now and she needs to let me have some time to myself. At first she was ok then she would pitch a fit @ bedtime but I had to stay firm with her. It's not an easy thing by any means. Just stick with it, and don't worry lots of moms have this problem.....Good luck
2006-10-03 08:42:57 · answer #1 · answered by wlknsnshly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try having her pick out some new sheets for her bed. Even if they are hideous to you, stick with her choice, or give her 2-3 different sets to choose from. It could just be a pretty pillow or stuffed animal; but let it be some type of choice she can make for HER bed.
Also, start a bedtime routine and stick with it every night. My husband and I took turns, but every night one of us gave my son his bath, snuggled him up in a towel, put his pj's on, brushed his teeth and then allowed him to pick the book he wanted to hear before bed.
Don't make a big fuss about it, just follow the routine and your daughter will come to know it's time to wind down for sleep. It's also calming for you since she'll stop fighting you. We started every night at 8:00 and my son was down by 8:30.
We also used to let him fall asleep ALONE in our bed with the understanding that he would be moved to his own room when his dad and I went to bed for the night. This way, my son got the "thrill" of falling asleep in the big bed, but still spent the night in his own bed.
Moving in with your boyfriend is a huge change in your daughter's life--even if they got along well before you two moved in. She's had you all to herself when he wasn't there, and now she has to share you 24/7 with these new living arrangements. Maybe she could sit at the table and color while you cook, or even help you by fetching utensils, opening boxes, setting the table for dinner, etc. Sure it will take you longer to get done, but it's so worth it to spend that time together!!
It will take some time, but kids are pretty resilient and she'll adjust.
Good luck to you :-)
2006-10-03 18:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by sarah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 7 year old & 9 year old and they were very good at sleeping in their beds untill we moved (a week ago) They are scared of being in a new house and having to sleep on their own. They shared a room before. So I am currently getting my kids to sleep in their own beds too.
This is what we are doing.... I too like someone above this ,let then pick out their own comforters and set up their rooms how THEY like so they LIKE to be in them. And then this is what we did....
tell your daughter that since this is something she doesnt want to do but she HAS to do, that you are going to do somethings to make it a smooth transition...
-Tell her the first night you will have a "sleepover" in her room. So that first night you should sleep in her room with her, all night. wake up together, show her that it is comfortable and she can do it. Since you will be in the room she should sleep good and not be scared so her first night will go good.
-The next night tell her she can lay down at bedtime with a small light on and a movie (we dont usually watch tv in bed on school nights but for the purpose of transitioning them into their new beds we did). Tell her if she gets into bed with no whining or fighting she can watch a movie at bed time for the next few nights. Or if she fights against going to bed. No movie. AND Since you were in her room last night with her, she cant use the excuse that it is scary or she cant sleep in there because she did!
- then when you feel she is able to handle it, I would take away the watching a movie at bed time on school nights cause they tend to stay up later with the movie and studies show...blah blah blah
As a treat my kids are always allowed to watch a movie at bed on weekend nights. This is (because its the weekend) but to them I tell them it is a reward for going to bed good all week.
It is not necessarily a bribe, it does not mean you have to go out and purchase them anything or get rotten teeth with candy bribes.
Good Luck
2006-10-03 10:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Jade April♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, bribing will not work to solve the real underlying issue, it never works....a child feels comfortable sleeping by her/himself when she/he feels comfortable in his/her life....make sure she feels secure in her surroundings and in her relationships with you, her dad, her teachers, her siblings, grandparents, etc..spend a lot of time with her, just you and her, doing anything or nothing together, and talk with her a lot.....
to be more immediate though, you could try what i did with my son when at that age he still wanted to sleep with us....i made a big deal about him setting up a bed of his own, i started with him just taking naps on it but not forcing the issue at night, i took him to the store and let him pick out his own comforter and bedding for the bed, and made it almost ceremonial when we inaugurated the new BED (which was really the old bed that had always been there)...i made it into HIS achievement to get to sleep in his own bed, gave him ownership of the bed with stuff he picked out himself...and we did other little grown-up things like let him pick out his own clock for the nightstand next to the bed, even though he didn't really need it....ask your daughter what she thinks a big girl's room and bed needs (she doesn't actually have to have her own room, a corner of her own is enough)...and then help her do it...i think you'll see a big difference when all that's done....
and also be prepared for occasional backsliding, don't make a big deal about it, just tell her it's ok because you know that it's just this once and that she can stay with you a little while and then you'll take her back to her bed...what ever you do, don't try to force any of this...i guarantee that eventually she will be in her own bed all the time, you will not be her roommate in college, and you don't want to damage your relationship with her by making her think you are trying to distance yourself from her, or worse that you are trying to get rid of her..remember that little kids think funny things sometimes that would never dawn on us...
good luck!
2006-10-03 07:50:13 · answer #4 · answered by JanB 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will have to bribe her. Try a chart with stickers to reward her. Get her to help you with some chores. Have a list of Mummy things, child things and partner things. When each of you do what is on your list you choose what you want to do together.
Make bedtime fun read a story or sing a silly song - it will take awhile but eventually it will work.
2006-10-03 11:11:35 · answer #5 · answered by cremcharl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just finally got my 6 year old son in his own bed. First find out why she wont sleep by herself. Does she get nightmares or afraid of the dark. Someone said mark a bottle of febrease with good dreaming spray or monster be gone. So she think her room is safe. My son problem was he didnt want to be in bed by himself so I usto make the dog sleep with him. It didnt work. He even had a cool race car bed he never slept in. But when we got bunk beds he finally slept in bed so far its been 1 month since he been in his own room. He sleeps with the tv on or the light bright on. But for me it took along time. He was just so usto sleeping with me. Or even try to sleep in her bed with her untill she falls asleep. Which for me was easier said then done. I would find out why she doesnt want to be alone and make it fun or comfortable so sleep by herself. Try out a whole different ideas hopefully one will work.
2006-10-03 07:32:30 · answer #6 · answered by candi0416 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have that same problem with my 8 yr old! She starts out in her own room and ends up in with us after 11 at night! We have tried charts and prizes but nothing has worked. She says it sleep walking and doesn't remember comming in to our room and going back to sleep. Good Luck!
2006-10-04 04:37:06 · answer #7 · answered by kolowski4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a long road ahead of you, she is used to sleeping with you and it will take you a long time to get her to sleep on her own. You should have had her sleeping in her own room to start with so you wouldn't be in this position
2006-10-03 07:23:47 · answer #8 · answered by exodus64_1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm still working on it with my 2 year old. It gets pretty complicated. Try "Super Nanny's" technique by putting them back in bed with out conversation until they give up. I haven't tried it with my 2 year old because I feel bad, but a 6 year old will better understand what is going on and what is expected from her.
2006-10-03 07:30:02 · answer #9 · answered by sparkles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not want to come off as being rude but you should have stopped her from sleeping with you before know.If not you will b like me I have an 11yr old that still sleeps with me and she is an only child.
2006-10-03 08:09:08 · answer #10 · answered by LADONNA W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋