my son is 14, and was curious so i bought him some pornography.
i guess he must have tried some of the things he saw in the video on his girlfriend, and as a result she was hurt pretty badly.
now her mother wants to talk to me about the situation... her mom is very attractive, but now she is upset with my parenting.
is it appropriate to punish my son for ruining a potential relationship with this woman?
2006-10-03 06:50:58 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
A 14 year old boy shouldn't be having sex. And you probably shouldn't have bought him pornography. And once you decided to buy him porn, you should have watched the video with him (uncomfortable I know) and explained things to him. Such as this unrealistic for a real girl to act, etc...
I don't blame the other Mom for being upset. I would be VERY upset. And NO it is not appropriate to punish your son for ruining a potential relationship with this woman. The only thing you could possibly punish him for is for hurting the girl.
2006-10-03 07:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by Sherry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is quite weird to me that a mother would offer her son the chance to watch pornography at such an age. You are the parent and at your son's age, it is your responsibility to teach him the difference between sex life and pornography. Anyway, with the other mother i understand why she is upset, and you've gotta make it clear to her that none of this is gonna happen again as it might ruin your relationship with her if it does. As for your son, you must make him aware that everything in life comes gradually at the right time and therefore he should not rush into things too soon as he might end up regretting them. Talk to him as a mother and a friend cos in that way he will understand it and even love you the more.
2006-10-03 07:35:51 · answer #2 · answered by tyana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who should be punished. Giving your son pornography??! You were asking for trouble. And that is very poor parenting. Why didn't you just talk with him? Talking to your son about appropriate behavior and how to treat a girl would have been much better all the way around. Shame on you.
2006-10-03 06:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by blondee 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NO it is only appropriate to punish your son for what he did wrong.... nothing more......if a relationship has been ruined, it has nothing to do with anything your son has done, he is only a child remeber.......look more into your own actions, and why he did these things in the first place, then ask yourself if you hadnt have chosen to buy the magazines for him, then he and you wouldnt be in such a situation now.......you are the adult take responsibilty for what you did.....
2006-10-03 07:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by Mintjulip 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No-work son back in by saying they made a video-then blackmail mom into shush sex or you'll put in on the net. Then go beat son and make move on roomate/daughter in this case-use the seinfield method for the switch
2006-10-03 07:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you cannot punish your son because you are the one that gave him the pornography to begin with. Not only did you give him the pornography but you did not instruct him that not everything he sees in "Assault on the Anus part 24" may be suitable for coital relations with his girlfriend. What you should do, is sit down with the girls mother and watch the porn with her. Try to pick up on where the kids went wrong then, with the mother as your assistant, try to rectify the problem. salud!
2006-10-03 07:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Blind Sighted 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your question is:
Is it appropriate to punish my son for ruining a potential relationship with this woman?
Answer:
He didn't ruin your chances... your parenting skills ruined your chances
2006-10-03 06:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by Import Beer Man 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is one thing to give your son the expereince but maybe you should have spoke to him about what he would be seeing I personally believe a porn movie is too adult for a 14 yo could you have not just gotten him a magazine. The mom has a right to be upset by allowing you son to watch porn you have also allowed her daughter these expereinces and that was wrong
2006-10-03 06:56:09 · answer #8 · answered by ellc123 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've re-worded this 3 times and cannot make it sound like I am not angry. I apologize for that.
Your SERIOUS lapse in judgment caused allot of harm to your son, his girlfriend (and her family) and put you in a heck of a spot. I hope that exercise better judgment in the future. To answer your question, yes, your son should be punished and you should talk to him about appropriate sexual behavior including birth control and abstinence.
2006-10-03 07:00:59 · answer #9 · answered by sm2f 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Shame on you!!!
Are you completely stupid? Your 14 year old comes to you about sex and instead of taking the opportunity to tell him why he's too young, you show him porn?!
And now you're concerned, because you're not going to be able to bang the girl's mom?!
Here's an idea - how about you teach your son how to respect girls and respect his own body.
Porn does nothing but teach boys/young men to treat women like objects, and while it may teach them how to f**k, it doesn't teach them how to make love
2006-10-03 07:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋