Joke 1
A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.
He thought to himself, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing. He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life. "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."
"Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly... "My as$hole itches, and I can't scratch it!"
Joke 2
Three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.
After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.
"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."
"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.
"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.
"We know," says the young man. "We're not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."
Joke 3
Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says in to the microphone... "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from near the front pierces the silence... "Well, f*cking stop clapping then!!"
2006-10-03 06:20:19 · 15 answers · asked by bri 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Those were good finally some real funny jokes are on here.
2006-10-03 06:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by ArDene'e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joke 1 was alright. I heard joke 2 before but joke 3 was really funny
2006-10-03 06:29:42 · answer #2 · answered by JonnaMamma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joke 3 is funny! It probably really happened knowing U2
2006-10-03 06:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by Peter in La Jolla San Diego CA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the U2 one. Somebody would say that...
2006-10-03 06:53:47 · answer #4 · answered by craftykid22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA I like #2 the best!!
2006-10-03 06:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥Soon to Be Mrs.F♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
joke 2 is de best lol
2006-10-03 06:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by sherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're all kinda old sweetheart, sorry â¥
2006-10-03 06:44:29 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didnt like the 1st 2 but i loved the second one. thanks for the laugh.
2006-10-03 06:25:00 · answer #8 · answered by Brittney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cute jokes , but where's the question???
2006-10-03 06:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by baby_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha haa
2006-10-03 06:23:13 · answer #10 · answered by The::Mega 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋