How do you handle pure defiance? I'm pretty sure he's rebelling because we just had another baby 5 weeks ago, but he won't listen to ANYTHING we say anymore. We're trying to keep him involved and continue to give him one on one time, but it's hard with his attitude. Any suggestions?
2006-10-03 06:15:15 · 17 answers · asked by mms1575 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Think of your son as a mini teenager. He wants to be a big boy, but he also wants to be the baby he used to be, the one everyone made a fuss over.
He is confused and being 3 he doesn't know it. You and your husband are doing the right thing, and maybe he can be Mommy's litttle helper. It takes A LOT of patience, because it is easier to do everything yourself, for instance when you change the baby, ask him to fetch a clean diaper or to talk to the baby whatever you may think he may like most, and make a big deal out of it.
Tell him that he will always be the big brother and that he will have to teach the new (sister, brother) everything he knows soon, and I'm sure he just wants to feel part of things maybe a little afraid to let go of the baby part sometimes and asserting that he already is a big boy.
Maybe you can show him what he looked like when he was small like his brother or sister, with pictures or home movies when the new baby is napping. Also if he is still napping, mention to him how he used to nap so much more like the baby does when he was a baby and now that he has grown up and is 3 he only needs one nap a day. Hope this helps and I'm sure you are doing everything you can to make him feel important, good luck.
2006-10-03 06:31:01 · answer #1 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's only three. It's hard for him to grasp the idea that he is no longer the only center of attention anymore. Being the only one for three full years...you know he's gonna be crying out for attention..good and bad..whatever way he can get it!!
You are doing right giving him one on one time. You and your husband need to set certain times aside JUST for him each and everyday till he gets over this. Read him his favorite books, have special mommy-toddler time, aside from the baby time.
you have to be stern too, you can't let him get out of control either. Don't worry, I'm sure the behaviour will get back to normal, just gonna take some patience and time.
Do something special with him that the baby can't do, like time at the park or in the sandbox or coloring with crayons. Make him feel special and important too.
Involving him with the baby is important too. Let him help feed, change the baby..just little things. "Oh pass mommy the baby's blankie"
Hope I've helped..Good luck with this!
And congrats on the new bebe!!
2006-10-03 06:28:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the EXACT same boat dear. My son is 3 1/2 and my daughter is 6 weeks, and my son has had the most rotten attitude for a few weeks now. I try to keep him involved by having him hold her bottle, get me diapers, etc...we have even had his sister "give" him several presents. He doesn't seem to dislike her at all, he likes to give her kisses goodnight and tells her all about his day but he is just so DIFFICULT lately. Everytime I give him a direction he tests me. I am hoping that if we just stay consistent and keep redirecting him for his attitude it will eventually go away and we can have our happy fun-loving boy again!! Good luck to you and I hope you get some good suggestions!!
2006-10-03 08:15:03 · answer #3 · answered by totspotathome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, realize that this is an adjustment period for him and he is acting out. Remember not to reward his negative behavior with attention. Ignore the negative behavior and reward the positive. 1 2 3 Magic is a great resource as well. It utilizes a technique that eliminates emotions and lecturing from discipline. It has been wonderful with our 5 year old. Most of all, nuture and love, and remember that this will pass when he realizes that you guys still love him and think that he is special. Nothing you do or say will help, only time! I will keep my fingers crossed for you and hope that all goes well!
2006-10-03 06:23:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try time out. This isolates the child from the world and makes him feel rejected. Rejection is very hard on humans and will make him not want time out anymore, so he will listen to you. But only use small amounts of time out since he is still young. Maybe 3 minutes, or 5 tops at a time.
2006-10-03 06:24:22 · answer #5 · answered by dirt2man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be consistant and show that child who is the parent by being patient but firm. It's hard and a pain, but if it's not stopped now that child is going to think they run the house and everyone there is going to be doing for him instead of letting him learn to do for himself. Yes, a three year old does need to learn how to do for himself and part of that is teaching the child what is okay and what is not and how to handle things, like disappointment.
2006-10-03 06:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stand firm. you and your husband need to be a team and work together. do not go against what each other tells the child. do not give in to him-your the parent. let him cry and cry until hes over it. he is jealous im sure but just let him know you still love him just as you always have.
give him rewards for being good and interacting with the new baby
2006-10-03 06:24:24 · answer #7 · answered by tiff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't accept this behaviour. Do your best to make him a part of things and give him his one-on-one, but he has to learn that acting out isn't going to get him what he wants. He has to learn to share the attention with the new baby. Use time-outs, take things away, etc. He'll get it but it will take time. Good luck!!
2006-10-03 06:21:34 · answer #8 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's throwing fits and such create a 'naughty chair' or a 'naughty spot'. Don't give into him. Watch the SuperNanny. She's great. Get him involved with the baby. Have him 'help' you change the diaper by making it a game by having him get a clean diaper, wipes, or throw the dirty diaper away.
2006-10-03 06:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there was a 3 year age gap between my 2 girls, and my eldest was great with the little one but was really nasty to us, me and her dad, i think it was just her way of dealing with this new baby and she liked her so she had to take it out on us, i can hand on heart say it passed rather quickly, so bear with it and just try and rememer hes not much more than a baby himself its a lot to deal with, so this is his way of doing it. Your not doing anything wrong, just keep praising him when he is good, you will get there, well done and congratulations on your little one. My eldest is now 6 and youngest 3.
2006-10-03 06:25:14 · answer #10 · answered by hayles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋