OK, so I'm 19, and I keep trying to move out of my mothers house for some independance. I have a place to go and with my budget I can afford it. BUT my mother keeps telling me that if I move out before my car is paid off then she'll take it from me. The car is in her name, and she knows that i'm going to do everything I can to keep the car because it was the first this that I really worked to "Earn" on my own. I owe a lil over $3,000 on it and it'll take me a lil over 6 months to pay it off, but I want to move out NOW! My mother and I don't have the best relationship and I feel that it's time for me to get out and make a life for myself, without her, yet she still thinks that she can dictate everything that I do. Why does she do this? and What can I do about it?!?
2006-10-03 05:58:10 · 19 answers · asked by you_know_you_want_me6996 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ok, I've been paying for the car since I was 16, which is why it's in her name. I thought that after I turned 18 she would put the car in my name, but she absolutely refuses. I have tried to talk to her about moving out, and even then she refuses to listen. I've been thinking about and planning to move out for over a year now. Before she was ok with it, even with letting me take the car, But now she's not letting me go. Maybe this time she knows that I'm really serious? We've talked about all of this, and still I'm stuck. I mean I'm absolutely miserable at home. Which is why i'm gone all the time, to friends houses. I come home to sleep on occasion, and even then she bitches and bitches that I'm never home to help clean, and yet she won't let me move out. She's my mother, I Love her unconditionally, but home just doesn't feel like home anymore and i'm miserable!
2006-10-03 11:08:44 · update #1
She does it out of love because she knows first hand how hard the world can be. Is she right? Maybe not, but it comes from the heart.
2006-10-03 06:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Work extra hard to pay off the car and get out. You might want to make sure that you remind her that she is damaging your relationship further by being a stubborn mule.
But, she does have a point. She is protecting her investment. She is worried that you will go out and spend all your money and then not have any to pay for the car.
If you truly CAN afford to move out on your own then you should have NO problem paying off the car in just a couple months. Since with rent and utilities you will be paying a lot more then the car payment.
2006-10-03 13:25:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford to move it must mean you have some steady employment behind you. Perhaps you can get a loan to pay off the car, then pay that back in time. Would be a good way to start yourself off with a little credit and if you are honestly dedicated to living on your own, you will need to do things like this once in a while. Maybe your mom is afraid you will fall on your butt, maybe she is afraid of getting stuck with the payment. I doubt she's doing it to make you miserable. Sorry you have to swallow that. I have a teenager and let me say that between the ages of 12 and 21 most mothers would love to see their daughters go! haha.
Seriously, grin and bear it at home for 6 months more or get a loan and be the adult you want to be. And dont forget to thank your mom for her care and concern.
2006-10-03 13:04:21 · answer #3 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as the car is in her name then there really isn't much you can do. If you move out now she can report the car as stolen which leads to a host of all kinds of new problems. If she only co-signed for the loan you could leave now but if not--- I'm sorry to say you are pretty much stuck.
6 more months won't kill you- so stick it out and just smile and say "yes mother".
Good luck and have a great day!!!
P.S. You can have $3,000 paid off in 6 months?! Wish I could do that but I make peanuts for wages. lol
2006-10-03 13:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by Coo coo achoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say there is really no happy choice to make here. Your mom, rightly or wrongly, has legal right to that car. She can take it whenever she pleases. Personally, I would talk to her. Let her know the reasons you want to move out. DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT IT BEING ABOUT HER! If that does not work, then leave the home and the car. Find your own car with your own credit and start fresh.....
2006-10-03 13:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is trying to hold on to her 'baby' in anyway possible. She feels better knowing where you are at night, and probably worries that if your not at home, the relationship which you've already described as 'not the best' will be non existent.
If your set on moving out, try to get a loan from your bank or credit union for the 3,000. I would also try to build a better relationship with your mom. She's less likely to throw obstacles in your path if she knows she will always be apart of your life.
2006-10-03 13:03:20 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You may not have a mental desire to deal with your mom but I would-and only from my own personal experience-for what it's worth from a stranger BUT, 6 months is NOT that long to wait and get it paid off and then move out. I know it's probably an exciting time to think of, being on your own but I urge you to just consider living with mom a bit longer, dealing with those pesking, cumbersome and often IRRITATING mom rules till you can pay off the car. Goodness knows if you move out and it's not on good terms, and something happens where you would need to lean on mom...would she be there.. would you feel comfortable asking to lean on Mom? I think she deserves the respect of at least finishing out the car payments as she's asked and established with you and then working things out with her, whether its staying at home with new "rules" or moving out with mom's blessing..Good luck.
2006-10-03 14:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by beachy0220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say, if you are that press to move out. Leave the car. Get your own ride with your own money and credit. I left at 18 and me and my mother did get along that well. Today, we are very close. Mothers don't want you to make bad mistakes and decisions. So they use a tactic to intimidate ya. Talk to your mother. I mean Talk!! Tell her truthfully why you want to move out. And Freedom is not a good answer.
2006-10-03 13:04:07 · answer #8 · answered by RONNIEKAT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you are in her home. She obviously loves you and wants to make sure you make good decisions. What is 6 more months? Maybe a lifetime to a 19 year old but give your mom another 6 months and it may save you a lifetime of grief. She does love you!
2006-10-03 13:03:16 · answer #9 · answered by ?? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really thin kabout it 6 months is a short time. I bet you can be creative enough to say aout of you mums way long enough to breeze through the next 6 months. Then when you do move out there is nothing she has over your head.
2006-10-03 13:08:19 · answer #10 · answered by Ben M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's another six months? Just pay off the car and then find a place of your own. Besides that, it will be easier to make it on your own if you don't have to make a car payment.
2006-10-03 13:01:20 · answer #11 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋