I'm seeing this guy who I like alot instantly when I met him. He's been through bad past relationships. His last relationship the girl still calls and wants him back. He doesn't want her back in his life. He wants to move on. She live in a different country.I told him that I like him. And he got scared and ran. Three times!!! He says he has feelings for me but he's scared of relationships. But he's back now. He admit he likes me. We been seeing each other for the past 4 wks. He wants to be friends first. But we're intimate. I only see him 1 time a week. He never calls me during the week. He cooks dinner for me and he been changing in a good way. He seems to be seeing things the way I do about us. I would like to see him more but I know he been through alot in his past relationships. I'm trying to be patient. I don't want to lose what is developing. But I'm also scared. What if he changes and he gets comfortable just being friends? any suggestions to fix this?
2006-10-03 05:42:31 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Try being honest to him about the way that you feel. Let him know you respect him wanting things to go slow but let him know you would like to spend more time together. Ask him to give you a chance to trust you. Since you already know what his last relationships were like you know you don't want to do the same thing to him right! I agree with you one day a week is not enough. My boyfriend was hurt by his ex and it took him a while to warm up to a new relationship, he was crazy about me but i could tell he was scared. I was there for him through every emotion that he was feeling...six yrs later and were still together.
2006-10-03 05:52:02 · answer #1 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am at the opposite situation. I have had a terrible relationship and there is this guy who is nice and we are intimate but I would like to let it at friendship level for a while. On the other hand, I had the bad luck of finding one of those few guys who are ready to settle down and have kids! He has been pushing me into things, and I like it less and less. I guess we had wonderful chances together, but I have talked to him - both openly and through hints too, but he will say it is ok to go slower but will start to push me into things again soon.
Unfortunatelly he keeps on telling me things such as "I wont let you drive when you are pregnant", or "where do you want to live when I graduate" or "I have talked to my mom about my plans about you".
Now I can barely talk to him on the phone when he calls cause I have started to find him boring.
I guess he cant go my speed nor I can go his, so it is doomed, unfortunatelly. I say: dont push him too further, cause it can really scare someone away.
2006-10-03 12:54:38 · answer #2 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't run him away by trying to rush into things. Life's too short to get in a hurry...about ANYTHING. If he remains friends with you, great! At least you know you always have that. If it's meant to be with this guy, it will be...in due time....not necissarily RIGHT NOW. To protect your heart and your own feelings, don't let yourself fall in love with him. Enjoy him for the moment, if he comes back more often, good, if not, so be it, but either way will be fine with you cause you love yourself more than to let someone step on your heart like that.
2006-10-03 12:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok... well it sounds like u r answering ur own question. if u don't want him to get comfortable with u guys being booty partners then u need to tell him how u feel. and don't get mad, im not judging you because i've been there. but the truth is if he wants to be FRIENDS u guys should not be intimate. because wat it really sounds like is that he has his cake and he's eating it to.
i mean... u say u see him once a week but he doesn't call during the week. friends talk a hell of alot more than that and they see eachother more often. think about it mama open ur eyes, put ur foot down before u get hurt
2006-10-03 12:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by Reina Estelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Communication is key to a successful relationship.
2006-10-03 12:45:10 · answer #5 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience is the key and by the way enjoy hot sex in the mean time.
2006-10-03 12:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by Atique 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't think he wants a relationship with you. It sounds to me like he just wants to have sex with you. You should just let this one go.
2006-10-03 12:46:35 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what ever you do, dont be pushy! reassure him that you still like him alot but you understand what he's going through and will give him your space. it takes some people longer to heal than others, be understanding
2006-10-03 12:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by sassy2sloppy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him b comforatable. wounds take time to heal. just let him know that u r there 4 him
2006-10-03 12:46:34 · answer #9 · answered by harli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have sex with him..that always changes their initial instinct as to where your relationship would go..
2006-10-03 12:46:05 · answer #10 · answered by somegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋