I understand that having a child in wedlock is the ideal situation but it just doesn't always happen that way. I had my son eight months ago and since having him my life has only gotten better. I am not with his father but the man I am with loves him like his own. I started online schooling and I no longer live at home. People who say that you will never become anything in life after having a baby out of wedlock don't really know people who improve their lives for the child's benefit. I can say without a doubt if I had not had my son I would not be on the road to where I am today. For those of you who are wondering I am 24 years old.
2006-10-03 05:25:15 · 27 answers · asked by roniluvsnate 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I dont think that. Me and my husband are closer than ever and same thing happened with us....
2006-10-03 05:27:07 · answer #1 · answered by rhodes727 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really hate that too. I wonder the same thing. I tell people does it make a difference if you get married have a child and the man still leaves you, its the same thing if you have a child without a man. Its much better cause then you don't have to worry about a divorce and all the money problems. I rather have a child single then get married. But hey, i wouldn't mind if i get married first but things don't go the way you plan. I also dont think having a child out of wedlock makes your life over, having a child is a blessing and i feel like if your having the worst life before then god gave you this child to make your life better an its working, so keep doing your best casue you got an angel in your life!!!!
2006-10-03 06:04:57 · answer #2 · answered by Oh Boy!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my first baby at 21 lived with my parents until this year I moved out bought a brand new house during the time I stayed with my mom I grew with the company I was with now a manager. I did get married to the father 1 year later. Had a another baby-girl and I am pregnant again. You have to want it bad enough to make it work. Having a baby and not married can give you the kick in the but you need for some it's a win for life sit at home and collect welfare. It's all on the person.
2006-10-03 05:32:07 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am now 60 years old and had my child without the benefit of marriage when I was 20. My life, as I knew it then, WAS over, but that isn't a bad thing. Back then, it was considered a very, very bad thing and everyone tried to make me give her up for adoption. I refused, knowing this was the best gift I would ever receive. I've not regretted that decision for one single second in 40 years. I now have 2 beautiful grandchildren and a relationship with my daughter that all my friends and family envy. Unlike you, I raised my child alone. It was quite difficult, but I wouldn't change a thing! Good luck to you and I hope you, like me, never regret your decision. By the way, I knew the moment I saw her for the first time that I finally knew what true love really means. And hurray for your significant other.
2006-10-03 05:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by Rembrandt11 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because there is NO way a single mom can both work fultime to pay the bills and raise her child. Either she ends up on welfare and stuck in Section 8 housing... or the kid is in daycare from the day he's born until he's in his teens. What is the point of having kids if you're having a daycare center worker raise him?
I understand you like your life better now, but it's a shame this child will have to be raised without a daddy in order to make you happy. Why couldn't you have put your life on the right path without dragging a child into it?
Kids need both parents. Sure you're living wiht some guy (who isn't the dad) but your refusal to marry him tells everyone else you're not serious about staying with him forever. I feel bad for a kid who may not have any sort of father figure in a year or two... and he'll always blame himself. "Why did daddy leave me?"
I do apologize for my rude tone. I don't mean to be rude and nasty... it's just that in my opinion the CHILD needs to come first. Anything else is selfish. If we don't speak up for the kids, who will?
2006-10-03 05:37:46 · answer #5 · answered by Funchy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats good for you but in most out of wedlock baby situations, the parent doesn't find anyone who they can truely trust to be a new father to their child and there is always the day when the new father tells you that the child is not theirs or their responsibility, then when the child grows up there is always the day when the child tells him that he is not their father and they don;t have to listen to them. But usually when people say that is because if you are not married sometimes the guy doesn't stick around.
2006-10-03 05:32:05 · answer #6 · answered by datchic412 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People tend to judge others. Its not right but it is real. My daughter is four and I am 22. I didn't marry her father. My life is wonderful. I work for one of the top Corporations in the US, I make more money than most people I know, I graduated top of my class with a 4.0 GPA.
Many times people project what they believe would happen to them onto you. You are doing what you know and feel is best. What they believe is just what they will believe. You have to live to your standards and nobody else's. As long as you are taking care of your baby and living your life to the fullest then you have nothing to worry about.
I don't regret the decision I made, I never will. Sadly her father passed away in a car accident last November and it makes me believe even more that everything happens for a reason. I could have made a different decision when I found out I was pregnant but then the world wouldn't have any thing to show for her father. She will carry his bloodline on through this world and everytime I look at her I get to see a little him. :)
Believe in you. Be good to you and let them believe what they will. We know the truth.
2006-10-03 05:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by ZsMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you. I'm 30 yrs old and currently pregnant, and was in a relationship with the baby's father, but I am now single and I don't feel my life is over at all. I now feel my life is just beginning, as I have this wonderful little person to welcome into the world and love. I feel like my life can only get better NOT worse. Being married or not does not make any difference to being a loving parent.
2006-10-03 05:43:11 · answer #8 · answered by JULIE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have to agree with you totally. Before I had my son I was living a life of drugs and doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I had so much drama in my life that I was always stressed out. I had way too much time on my hands. Ever since I had my son I have been drug free and no longer have any extra time for myself. When I get off work I take care of my son all night. Dinner, bath, reading, etc. I am now a single mom but I love it. My new drug free friends tell me that I am boring because I never want to go out and drink with them, I tell them I love being boring because the excitement I used to have will last me a lifetime.
2006-10-03 05:32:25 · answer #9 · answered by kristi.burkhart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're just looking for validation that what you did wasn't wrong. The rest of your statement sounds like you know you're improving your life, you're in a loving relationship, you're continuing school, and you have your son's best interest in mind. I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing. I've seen plenty of parents have children within a marriage who don't know the first thing about good parenting and should never have had kids. Marriage is no guarantee that you'll be a good parent, just as being a single one doesn't mean you won't be a great one.
Keep up the good work and all the love!
2006-10-03 05:29:22 · answer #10 · answered by Iknowsomestuff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because raising a child alone is always harder than with a partner and most single parents DON'T WANT TO BE A SINGLE PARENT!!!!
Quite frankly, if I knew I'd be doing all this alone, I may have had an abortion because it IS the hardest thing I've ever done!!!!
You are lucky to have a father figure in your life. Imagine if its just you and the kid and all your family can do is send some hand me downs and give a few words of encouragement only to wake up and fall asleep with just you, your kid, and a pile of bills you cry at the thought of paying??!!!!
2006-10-03 06:11:03 · answer #11 · answered by Lotus Phoenix 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋