Yes, I'm a faker. When I have sex, I've found it's easier and 'nicer' to fake than tell the guy 'it's not going to happen'. I thoroughly enjoy sex, but I've never been able to orgasm with a guy. This worked out fine in my early 20's since I changed partners every 3 months or so and I could always polish myself off. Now I've hit a snag since I'm with a guy I truly like and would like to actually have an orgasm with him. The problem is that I've faked with him, so how do I teach him to please me when he thinks he's been pleasing me all along? One of the things he likes about sex with me is that 'I come when he's in me'. Well....that's not true. And if I start teaching him (saying move here, slow down, no not there, ow!, etc) he's going to pick up that things have changed. Am I doomed to come clean about this? Any other fakers out there who can help me out?
2006-10-03 05:10:03 · 7 answers · asked by Brianna 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well I will admit I have faked here and there. But the times I did fake was when I wanted a quickie and just let him get his so we could get 'er done! But if you fake all the time you are cheating yourself out of some good sexual activity! Look, men are not mind readers. I don't give a damn how good he looks or how smart, they don't know what makes us feel good unless we tell them! But really you guys need to talk about it nicely and not when you get mad at each other and then spill the beans! Believe me you share the same story with a lot of women not achieving orgasms. True enough you gotta give and take one for the team, but not all the time. Know your body and what makes it tick and tock! I made it very clear to my boyfriend that oral sex makes me go nuts, and he loves to do it because it gives him pleasure giving me pleasure. So you gotta tell him! Men love it when we are getting it good, that really turns the heat up more! You don't necessarily have to tell him you been faking but suggest things during sex, and he'll do it. Trust me, men are vulnerable to do damn near anything during crunch time. Don't worry about the change. The change is good, sex needs to change to give it some "spice". Remember this is your sex life, don't cheat yourself, treat yourself! Hope that helped.
2006-10-03 05:34:43 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
See......here's where I think I have been doing the right things, because I always ask if what I am doing is working or not. That way she then has the control and can make the decision of either 'advising' or not, and if so, how I can improve for her. 99% of the woman I've done this with respond in kind and do the same for me. This is what I think everyone should do for each other in relationship, and not just sex, but many things in life when you're with someone just day to day.
Anyway, you should have been sharing your likes and dislikes with him all along sweety, and now you are in a spot because of it. Bite the bullet and just start telling him what you like and what you don't. People *have* to teach each other what they like, There are numerous little variations in pressure, rhythm, speed, and so on that vary from one person to the next. You can get into the ballpark, but unless someone is either just so easy to please, they will have to tell you what 'works' for them
So, do that....just tell him that; 'you're doing great, but if you do 'this', or 'that' it would feel a lot better. Hopefully he will just go with the flow and not be worried about why you didn't mention this before, but when you start showing him things, ask him what he likes too.
I hope you get this straightened out and that it all goes well for you. If all goes well....you *will* 'come' clean. ;)
2006-10-03 05:25:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so this is just my opinion. If he stuck by you through all of the medical problems and things then he obviously cares for you. Maybe you should try marriage counseling? But even more important, you need to start having sex. Men seem to be happier when they are getting laid. You said you bought a sexy nightie and nothing happened. One night when hes sleeping crawl under the covers and give him oral. Honestly what man would turn you down when your mouth is on his member? Try 'accidentally' walking in on him while hes in the shower-- get in with him. Basically send the kids to a family member/friend and seduce the man. Have sex with him anywhere and everywhere. Sometimes you need a break just to get it on! Most of his frustrations are probably really from not having sex. Women we are emotional and we cry. Men are physical and they complain. lol As far as your other marriage. You can't blame yourself for something that is in the past. Sometimes life isn't fair and there are no guarantees. But looking back is never an option you can't change it so you have to forgive yourself.
2016-03-27 03:20:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm no girl, but I can honestly say...
this is one the worst things you can do in a relationship, because it is another form of lying to your partner. If he believes that he is satisfying you, then he has nothing to worry about. When you tell him, and you should that you've been faking he will feel extremely hurt.
He'll probably answer questions like, how long have you been doing this? Just answer them truthfully...I think you guys just need to sit down and talk. One of the biggest factors in a relationship is communication, even in the bedroom.
2006-10-03 05:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Faking is lying and it only gets worse the longer it goes on. It is nice that you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but both of you lose if you are not honest. Just tell him that you while you have enjoyed the sex, you want to take it to the next level. Believe me, he will be flattered to have the honor and the challenge.
2006-10-03 05:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by Senor Pig 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a no brainer. Just tell him you are working at having a more intense and explosive orgasm. My work here is done. Oh wait, and please remember, communication is everything, so, also ask your boyfriend what you can do to turn him on in a more intense way!
2006-10-03 05:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by darkangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, you can do it. Honesty is a great aphrodesiac
2006-10-03 05:19:19 · answer #7 · answered by Hillary Dillary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋