Why are pre-teens so mean to other kids? Pre-teens these days are so obsessed with what other kids say to them

Question

I wish being a teen in this country was easier. Where I grew up in India ..it was fun being in HS and college..we never put each other down!

Thanks to everyone who helped me with my 2 questions about my 5th grader and to the ones that gave me stupid answers...don't answer if you want to be mean..we moms here are serious about what we are talking about..

Answer 1

Preteens can be very mean. Several reasons why. They have yet to reach a mental state of maturity and are trapped in an Egocentric stage. Everything is about them and the world in their eyes revolves around them. They do not see empathy, (putting themselves in others shoes) Therefore, peer pressure and peer response is critical to their existance. It is more important to them what their peers think of them and how they LOOk to others than anything else. This stage will evolve in time to more compassion and wider views of the world and the people in it in time. Unfortunately, other children will suffer the consequences unless adults intervene.

Answer 2

Not all pre-teens are like that and it is not just "these days". There were the same kind of kids in the 70's and 80's. Pre-teens are also not in HS or college. Middle school or Junior High school is tough but I found it got better in High School.

Answer 3

First of all, considering the class system in India, there is no possible way you can say that all children are nice to all other children in that country.

In general however children follow certain stages of development.

In my experiences as a substitute teacher, (and therefore exposed to K-12) I found that children under 9 are in generally nice to each other. Between 9 and 12 children's hormones start to kick in and they start picking on each other, trying to establish a pecking order. By 13 cliques are established, and you may be accepted by your own clique (class/sect), but you are shunned by others. By high school there is an established pecking order. Cliques near the top of the pecking order can afford to be nice to the bottom, but those in the middle can't afford to be nice to anyone, and those on the bottom have no friends but themselves and those "popular" kids that take pity on them (and who really likes to be pitied).

When I was going into College I was told it all changed. I thought it had, but in retrospect I can tell the the cliques just got wider.

Now as an adult I can safely say that the cliques have gotten much bigger, we are accepted by a lot more people, but the pecking order is still there. Also there are many more options and overlapping and interweaving cliques. But while the Shiite and Sunni both share the same God, and the same Prophet, it still does not keep them from fighting and killing each other (as well as Catholic and Protestant.)

So enjoy your children who are 9 and under..... and while you are at it, try to learn something from them. After all there was a reason why Jesus said that we should be like children.

Answer 4

Children were mean when I was in grade school too. I guess the fact that my parents never let me believe that I was ugly or stupid. There was never a time when I wasn't encouraged. However, my sister got the same attention, and had a few problems. Try to instill in your kids a sense of pride in who they are. I was never 'popular,' but if was always confident in myself, and because of it, i never was lonely. Try to teach her not to care about what other people think, because its when you let it take over your world that you have difficulties.

I'm only a freshman in college, but i've seen were people let the way other's feel about them change them. Its not good. Show them that they are loved no matter what and they will always have a place to feel safe.

Answer 5

Its because some pre-teens have a lot going on with them self and they just need to take it out on other people even tho it is wrong to do it and some just want to fit in and be fuuny, the bottom line is some kids are crew and don't care about no one feelings but there on so don't worry about it.

Answer 6

I think most pre-teens are deeply insecure and unsure of tehir place in the world so putting others down is a way to make themselves feel better, especially girls. The meanest ones are usually the dumbest ones.

Answer 7

It's not just preteens, sadly. It's all people. Young and old alike. It starts when they're preteens, and it's especially bad then. Last week there was a firebombing of a house by me. Luckily, everyone made it out safely. Come to find out, it was a high school student, trying to kill another h.s. student that they didn't like. Nice, huh?

Answer 8

I personally think it comes from home! Not enough parents discipline their kids they way we were! They don't teach them to have respect for themselves or others! I think the first time you hear a kid say the word stupid you should show them what Dawn dish soap tastes like! and the first time you catch them hitting or kicking you should bust their little A**!! It worked when I was a kid and it worked with my kids! To many people have let their kids run wild!

Answer 9

i think they are trying to fit in with other kids that think its cool to be mean.(the wrong crowd).there are mean kids,and then there some good kids trying to fit in some where .peer pressure is very bad on kids i wish we could say something to stop it.but i don't know what ,all we can do is to keep our kids self esteem up so nothing these bad kids say to them will break there spirit,show them they can over come anything,

Answer 10

human beings without style or mind's eye of song like Justin Bieber. the only people who like Justin Bieber are airheads, Disney followers, and fat chicks. For the main area he would not rather allure to absolutely everyone else.