i have a so called friend who i used to get on well with a girlfriend of my boyfriend's friend. but all it seems is take take take from her side. earlier this year i thought i was pregnant and believe i suffered early miscarriage. since then me and my partner decided we wanted a family. my so called friend has just got pregnant which i am happy about but im sure you can appreaciate the hurt i feel. I tried to tell her i didnt want to see her while she was pregnant and smoking which i thought was fair, i do not feel able to watch her harm her baby which she blames the smoking on the fact her other child causes her that stress. she just told me i was selfish. do you think i am or do you think its her that is.
2006-10-03 04:05:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
i thought i was being fair as i thiught i can make myself deal withit if she is treating her baby how she should as i cnt see her abuse it
2006-10-03 04:10:37 · update #1
6 of one and half a dozen..........
2006-10-03 04:07:36 · answer #1 · answered by pat.rob00 Chef U.K. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable that you would feel uncomfortable to be around a pregnant woman. But you cant blame a friend for being pregnant. I dont think it is fair for you not to see her and blame it on her smoking. That is her choice. Friends should be there for each other. Taking their good points and bad points. You are missing out on a friendship and being part of pregnancy and the birth of a little baby. Do you really want to risk all of that?
2006-10-04 10:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by Teresa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she feels hurt that you've told her you don't want to see her whilst she's pregnant! Smoking is an addiction just as drinking is & maybe she's tried giving up but just can't, it's alot harder than you may think!
What will happen when the baby is born? If you can't see her now how are you going to be able to see her with a baby in her arms?
Be her friend & watch her pregnancy develop, you may find you enjoy it & therefore be closer to the baby once it arrives!
Explain to her how you feel about her smoking & maybe suggest she doesn't do it in yuor company!
2006-10-04 20:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by C Greene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a lot like me. That bothers me too, to see a pregnant girl smoking. You spoke your mind and told her how you felt about it. She either accepted or didn't, which she didn't. It is not fair for the unborn to be treated like that. In time she will hopefully see that it is wrong. You only said it cause you care for her and the baby and nothing wrong with that. NO you are not being selfish either. She is just being ignorant, not selfish.
2006-10-03 04:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by DO IT! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should separate yourself from her because she's pregnant and smoke, just try & limit your time around her if anything. I understand you're hurt about your miscarriage, but to me that's being somewhat selfish because she's pregnant, you said you & significant other are working on another baby, be strong & if she smoke & the baby is harmed, she has to take care of it not you,
2006-10-03 04:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by "tre-double" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly - this is not about friendship really - is it?
It you read again the explanatio you added you will see that it is about how you deal with important issues and how the other woman does. you are little upset about the pregnancy, you would do better in her shoes etc
she is very wrong to smoke in pregnancy and that is very selfish but also you cannot tell her what to do and put conditions on her.
maybe her smoking is your excuse not to see her pregnant full stop? when you get pregnant you will relax about it maybe as you will have your own child to think about?
2006-10-03 04:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by justme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend is not necessarily someone that is with you all the time.
A friend is somebody who is at your side to help in times of trouble.
Smoking is harmful to everyone and during pregnancy it is strongly
inadvisable. This is common knowledge. To smoke in the presence
of a newborn is foolish and harmful. Even idiots know better.
Perhaps you should choose your friends more carefully.
2006-10-03 04:26:10 · answer #7 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a break. I don't agree with pregnant women smoking either but if she is still smoking despite your obviuos displeasure, what exactly are you trying to acheive by refusing to see her?
I'm sorry to hear what happened to you - good luck for rhe future x
2006-10-03 05:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with u , i HATE seeing pregnant girls/women smoking ! They are selfish and are indeed abusing their unborn child ...good 4 u ! They make me so angry !!
2006-10-03 06:50:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone who is not there for you doing the hard times is not a friend,because a true friend will be there through thick or thin,and that is what defines a friend.
2006-10-03 04:16:42 · answer #10 · answered by donangelo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she was a real friend she would understand the hurt you are feeling and accept your decision. Yes she is excited but that doesn't give her the right to walk over your feelings.
2006-10-03 04:13:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋