You all have great answers, I don't know how to respond to them on here. My sister-in-law thinks I should go to the ceremony to show my support for the wedding, but skip the reception. I already rsvp'd to it and it is this friday. My husband's aunt called to verify it and I agreed because I thought I could handle it. I don't think I can anymore after hearing that I was the one to blame for the last party. I would like to go to the reception to show that I am not the problem, but I honestly do not think that I can sit and enjoy myself with the expectation of something happening. But i also do not want her to think she got the best of me.
2006-10-03 04:04:51 · 13 answers · asked by Monica S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You need to put aside your ego... Who cares what she thinks of you??? That is in the past... it stays in the past and you move on. If they were nice enough to invite you then go. If you feel you cannot control yourself then send them a congrats card and move on. Dont work yourself up over this. You have him now so why worry what she thinks? Let her think whatever she wants to. You will never be able to control that. Trust me if she wants to think bad of you... or that she has the best of you... she will find a way no matter what. Don't let that drag you down.
2006-10-03 04:08:26 · answer #1 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband going to be there? What does he think of this situation? Has he tried to speak to members of his family regarding the situation and gain some understanding of what a difficult time this is for everyone involved? Has he made any attempt to talk to the ex gf himself to try an gain some semblance of civility from her? Maybe he should let her know how flattering it is to know that his ex is sooooo into him that she is still acting like a jealous shrew 3 1/2 years later. That alone might put a stop to it if she thinks others perceive her to be jealous and unable to grow up and move on. If you haven't said or done anything to antagonize this girl or the rest of the family then surely there are others in his family who recognize this. Perhaps they just haven't spoken up about it. You may have more understanding and support from his family than you realize. If you have a good relationship with his parents, try to talk with them (with your husband) and explain how hard this is for the entire family to have to live with this kind of drama whenever a family event or function comes up. They may have input that could help. If nothing else, they will see that you would like a resolution to the problem and aren't interested in participating in the same type of foolishness that the ex gf engages in. ( I'm sure there are those who see the ex gf as the emotionally insecure idiot she acts like) Realize that the ex gf is a part of the extended family, like it or not, and she will always have her supporters. That won't change. Your conduct, on the other hand, is being scrutinized by some people and they are looking for anything to validate the other girls opinion of you. Take the high road and be as gracious as possible to his family at the wedding. Then leave, go home and curse till your hearts content about the injustice of it all. Good luck to you and remember that you aren't in this alone. Many of us have had to face problems with jealous exes and know how hard this is to deal with. You'll come out on top though!
2016-03-27 03:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's going to be the lesser person, just put her aside.
Her presence shouldn't allow you to skip the reception. Her presence should make you as stressed as you are!
This shouldn't be a battle between the two of you, and if she wants one then you can just say no. Do you really think she'll be jerky at the wedding? If so, stick with people you know. Although you may think that people aren't noticing, the truth is that people DO notice stuff like that.
Be the bigger of the two and just enjoy yourself. Don't worry about her, and don't worry about what she's going to say. There's a reason your husband dumped her.
2006-10-03 04:52:11 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't fully understand the story but I think that your husband's ex girlfriend will attend the same wedding as you and your husband? You were to blame for what? Last Party??? No matter what the past circumstances are..........Be true to yourself! We often get so worked up about what other people are thinking, going to do, going to say, how they will feel When in reality.....we have no control over some else's feelings. They feel the way they do because they are making themselves feel that way.....Just as you are making yourself feel bad for going to a wedding with YOUR husband. The day is really for the bride and groom and to share in their happiness. You need to own your feelings and just tell yourself that you and your husband will enjoy the day. Do not skip anything. Have NO expectations because chances are it will come across as fear and you don't need that stress. You never know.....she could come up to you as say hello and be done with it. This actually happened to me at a wedding with my ex-husbands new wife!!! I worked myself up for 2 weeks......didn't eat, sleep and just worried, worried, worried. It turned out that she approached me(with all our friends looking on and gasping!!!).....we chatted for a bit and it was fine. So all my worry and putting my body through all the stress was for nothing. I am not saying this is how it is going to turn out but relax please, go and enjoy your husband. Don't worry.....it is not worth it. Get the best of you you fear??? Sweetie....you are getting to the best of you on your own.....RELAX. Have a great time!!!
2006-10-03 05:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the bride's day and not yours and your husbands ex-gf. You are all being selfish now. Is not about you or her,.... this is about the BRIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you think that you are not going to enjoy yourself there or if you think that something may happen that will RUIN the wedding, then don't attend.
I think that going to the ceremony would be a good think to do. Skip the recption as everyone is gping to be miserable as both you and your husband willl be un high alert, unable to relax and enjoy and setting yourself up for an unconfortable situation.
Good luck
2006-10-03 04:18:38 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not exactly sure what you are asking but if it is do my husband and I attend his ex girlfriends wedding I would say WHY? after all she is an ex you should both be staying home or going somewhere that is enjoyable for both of you not an ordeal for either of you.
2006-10-03 04:27:34 · answer #6 · answered by oldmomma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know, I try to give good advisement here but here's the cheapo in me coming out...free food, spend time with SOME good people and it gets you out of the house...GO! If it turns out stinky...leave...it's not like they live with you and you'll hear about it forever and a day..right? Just let is slide off you if anyone says anything...like water on a duck..YOU'LL be the good person in the end...promise!
2006-10-03 04:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go but don't get there acting a nut if yall are over each other it's shouldn't be a problem. but if you know you are going to go there and start something stay away. but take a friend with you and try to enjoy yourself. and if you feel you can't take it leave and don't look back.
2006-10-03 05:08:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do go, I'd suggest hanging around your husband the whole night. I mean, you don't want to be scared off from future parties.
2006-10-03 04:10:10 · answer #9 · answered by Aubrey's mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and have a good time. Just remember she is the ex and you are the current and you are married to him. Obviously you are the better woman who won and she will have to just deal with it
2006-10-03 04:06:51 · answer #10 · answered by mZgRoW*N*sExY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋