My wife has been going through a state of depression for a least a month that I know of. She opened up to me the other day about it for the 1st time. She says that she is depressed about her job and also about me not being home that often. I work a retail job that requires me to work a lot of evenings. She is also upset with her son who is 13 and is a little needy and won't leave her alone. I don't know what to do for her she won't seek professional help and I have tried to buy her flowers and things to make her feel better but it doesn't seem to be working. Our sex life has really suffered, we haven't had sex in over a month and it's really starting to affect me. I don't know what else to do. Any one had any sugestions?
2006-10-03 03:17:42 · 16 answers · asked by Duece 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
All you can do is be supportive of her and reassure her of your love and commitment to her. She should seek new employment and if you cannot be home with her due to your job maybe you could find similiar employment elsewhere so that you can be home more to help her with her son and take off some of that burder. I suggest that she goes to see a councelor so that she can discuss her feelings and maybe a professional can give her some ideas how to put her life back in order. She can take medications that will help her with her somber feelings...does not mean she has to take it forever but it does help in the interim. I have suffered with depression in the past and it is an awful feeling and no matter what anyone did it just was not good enough. I had to do something about the situations that was causing the problem...no one else could do it for me. As far as the sexual issues that comes along with the territory...she does not have positive thoughts right now and it takes that desire away unfortunately for you...I am sure it is affecting you but try to bare with her through this hopefully brief time. Things can and probably will return to normal in the bedroom. I wish you both you and her luck. Hang in there!
2006-10-03 03:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing she can do is sign up for a night school class to learn something that's of interest to her. This class would only have to meet 2 times a week. More would be better though. This would get her out of the house and away from the 13 year old. She'd have a chance to communicate with other adults with the same interests. An hour of exercise each morning would also be a great help. Walking would be good and the young boy could go along.
2006-10-03 03:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by sparks 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seeking professional help would be a last resort. It sounds to me like your problem is within the home environment. Just buying flowers is a pacifier, not a remedy. You two need to have a real heart to heart without the youngster around because he may very well be part of the problem. It sounds like she's bearing the burden alone for his needs. You may need to find a way to share the various responsibilities in the home, and that may mean changing some work routines. Women are often afraid of repercussions if they vent how they really feel. Take your time, assure her of your love for her, not just with words, but with deeds as well, and work through the problem.
2006-10-03 03:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by dreamchsr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife also refused to seek professional help for what was clearly depression. So we suffered for several years. Then I found a way to link her symptoms to a non-psychological cause. In this case, it was related to her monthly cycle. I noticed that her moods followed a predictable pattern. I tracked these and when she saw graphic evidence, she finally saw a doctor.
The doctor found other issues, mainly food allergies. Only after she understood that she wasn't to blame for her negative feelings was she willing, finally, to see a therapist. I had to drag her there, but it was a very positive experience.
My suggestion is to suggest she gets allergy testing on the grounds that it can cause depression. She will probably agree to that. Once she sees a doctor because of the symptoms, she will be more open to seeing other doctors. Also keep an eye on her cycle to see if PMDD or PMS (the real thing, not just a bad mood) could be the cause. Check out the link below.
2006-10-03 03:33:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, continue to suggest professional help. Next, try to suggest things that she can change to make her feel better - such as her job. Perhaps you too can find a different retail store that doesn't require so many evening hours, or work it out with your current store to only work one or two evenings a week. You might also want to talk with her son and tell him that his mom has been feeling down lately. You don't need to tell him everything your wife told you and you shouldn't tell him that he has been bothering her. But he probably should know that she's been feeling blue - just so that if she gets worse, he'll know he's not to blame.
Hang in there and continue to urge her to seek help.
2006-10-03 03:43:33 · answer #5 · answered by kiki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know it may sound stupid but EXERCISE! and St. john's wort(herb, you can find at wal-mart, GNC and most health stores. WHY? exercise releases endorphines in the brain that promote a sense of well- being and it makes you feel better about yourself in the process. Also, the herb, st. john's wort ,has been studied and proved to provide relief from anxiety and depression. In a study experts compared it with Paxil and Zoloft. Also, take HER SON, as you called him out, give her a break from him and since you seem concerned, why not talk to your boss about changing your schdule around a bit, so you can be there for the lady you love. Force her out of the house for a 20 min. stroll together in the sun. Vitamins, our body requires, from the sun , will make her feel better also. If all else fails, encourage her to talk to a professional, thats why they are there. A womans body is an emotional roller coaster and even they have to be repaired at some point. They, like us, tend to carry heavy burdens but they get a break and a lube job!!
2006-10-03 03:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by luvnherb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your spouse on medicine?If she isn't, she would be in a position to get on a low dose medicine.which could make issues slightly smoother.according to probability you may take some holiday and bypass on a medical doctors bypass to mutually.that could additionally help evaluate the fairly some issues.only wait and notice along with her in case you adore her.melancholy isn't an basic undertaking to handle and he or she would be in a position to not make it on her own.take a seat and function a stunning delicate communication whilst she looks like she is on a "stable" day, communicate with regard to the easy issues and lead into the greater tough matters.confer along with her with regard to the failings you spot occurring and the failings you will possibly prefer to assist her with.Then according to probability ask her how she feels approximately you attending a medical doctors bypass to along with her.Make her sense as delicate as you are able to, and make particular your additionally delicate with the alternatives.you're basically alongside for the journey, she would be in a position to be an magnificent individual below all of this and you basically could artwork with the aid of it along with her to deliver it back out.Be delicate consisting of your words yet don't sense such as you may walk on egg shells along with her.it fairly is barely putting you in a clumsy place.bypass slowly with the well being care expert visits and be supportive.Ask her if there is something you're able to do in my opinion to assist relieve some rigidity she may well be feeling.in case you 2 took a vow to be mutually perpetually, you will basically final that long while you're very open and function great verbal substitute.take excitement in!!!
2016-10-01 21:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had depression for many years before I went to the doctor, too. My husband and family suffered greatly during my mood swings and pity parties. I say a doctor and my life is GREAT now. I am so glad for the medicine I take and I don't mind being "labeled" with depression because my life now is WONDERFUL!!!
2006-10-03 03:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by motheroftwo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing really that you can do, other than let her know that you love her, miss her, and that you want her to be well and healthy again; please emphasize that to do that she needs to see a professional. If she isn't ready to see a therapist, then suggest she talk with her primary doctor. That would be better than nothing, and maybe she will heed the advice if it comes from someone in the medical field that she is already comfortable with.
2006-10-03 03:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by ratpackluvr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is not ready to go to a psychiatrist don't force her yet. But there is a wonder drug for depression called Fluoxetine 20mg, you can get it at any drug store over the counter. Tell her to take those as a help to her son and you,I'm sure she will understand. Take care
2006-10-03 03:30:24 · answer #10 · answered by Sharon S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋