Who said this?

Question

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me Death"?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except Martinez, who had his hand up, "Patrick Henry 1775."

"Very Good"! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth? "

Again, no response except for Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." he said.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do".

She heard a loud whisper. "Screw the Mexicans" "Who said that?" she demanded.

Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie. 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said. "I'm gonna puke".

The teacher glares, and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Martinez says "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister. 1991"

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this! "

Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky. 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little ****. if you say anything I'll kill you."

Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted. and as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, we're in Big trouble!"

Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein 2003"

Answer 1

u were a nice DOCTOR but u will be also a good POLITICIAN
i didn't knew that

well tried






y don't keep an INDIAN nickname
i think u r the only indian to ask so much in jokes
try an indian nickname
it would be better

Answer 2

GREAT one man :)
Some jokes i like:
1
Intelligent Man

Paddy was the most intelligent man in Ireland. He was the president of the Irish branch of Mensa and he had won a million pounds on, “Who wants to be a Millionaire?” and was Professor of astrophysics at the Paddy Institute of Technology.

One day, he was in the pub and his mates were telling him that he should appear on Mastermind, the quiz where the most intelligent men on the planet, show their superior brainpower. So he filled in the forms and sure enough was called up and over to London he went to appear on the show.

The moment came when he was called up to the chair, to be questioned.

"Paddy, what is your specialist subject?"
"Irish History."

"Paddy your minute starts now. Who was the leader of the Irish Revolution?"

"Pass."

"In what year was the revolution?"

"Pass."

"How many men died during the Easter Revolution?"

"Pass."

"What was the name of the British informer who helped the rebels?"

"Pass."

All of a sudden his friend stood up in the audience and roared, "Good man Paddy, tell the bloody English nothing."

2
Indian Hell

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is different hell for each country and decides he'll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.

He goes to American hell and asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the American devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the Australian hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the American hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

But that is exactly the same as all the other hells why are there so many people waiting to get in?" asked the man.

"Because there is never any electricity so the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Indian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business."

3
A Florida senior citizen bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down I-75, speeding at 85 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought, as he roared down the highway. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror, and discovered a Florida State Patrol officer right behind him, blue lights flashing, and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man. He pushed the gas pedal all the way to the floor, and flew down the highway at 100 mph. Then 110 and 120.

Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."

So he pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the officer to catch up with him.

The officer pulled in behind the Corvette, and calmly walked up to the driver's door. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 20 minutes. If you can explain why you were speeding away from me, with an excuse that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the officer and said, "Ten years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Patrol Officer, and I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the officer.

Answer 3

it's the funniest of all the jokes I heard or read till now. It's you who told the joke. Thank u very much for making me laugh for such a long time.

Answer 4

Ha ha bit oldie but funnniieee, u rocks man

Answer 5

LOL u r one funny dude have a good day

Answer 6

Nice, real nice, hahahahaha!

Answer 7

now that was word the read

Answer 8

cool1
don hv words to praise it more...oh well!

Answer 9

kewl

Answer 10

Very, very good un