Let's pretend we're married?

Question

Prince has an old song named like that. Is this the best solution for couples in this day and age?

to Shonreaq : It's even dumbmer to answer it!

Answer 1

Well that's the most exciting role playing you and your love dovey can have........whether you are planning or just planning.. just act the best role that you can be and am telling you he/she would love you more than he/she can imagine...

Answer 2

The short answer is no.

I believe there are several moral arguments against "pretending." However, that's not how I'm going to approach this question. Leaving the moral implications completely out of it, living together is rarely a good deal for the woman involved.

There are, depending on where you live, few or no legal protections for a woman in the case of a split. Generally she moves in with some guy. Everything is in his name. She usually pays at least a portion of the bills, but she's building no credit history because her name's not on anything. So when it ends she's left with nothing. (Of course, this can work in reverse, too.)

If they have children, it can take a long time for the courts to order support. She may have to prove paternity. (If they're married, paternity is assumed unless proved otherwise.)

Finally, there is truly a psychological difference between "partners" and "spouses." It's just not the same.

I know it's popular to "try it out" before (or instead of) tying the knot. Popular isn't always smart. Pet rocks, mullets, and big 80's hair should have taught us that.

Answer 3

I can't see the reason. Marriage in my opinion has purposes that can not be achieved by pretending : one is purely legal. Makes easier all the stuff with taxes, inheritance, children situation and so forth.
Another one - marriage holds you together in crisis. There are ups and down in every relationship. It's easy now to say goodbye to your unmarried partner instead of working hard to solve the problem or bent down to compromise. I saw my friends running away from each other to regret later. Their other half had somebody else already or was too hurt to come back.
These are purely practical reasons, but I think if I love somebody with all my heart I would like to make a declaration that I will be with him for good and bad and that I promise to always love and care for him. For real. But this is just me, a romantic soul, maybe?
;)

Answer 4

Several years ago in my business, I talked to a client who told me this story. She and her b/f had a long term relationship, a common law marriage. However it was not recognized as such in the state they lived in. They created a life together, several children, the whole nine yards.

He was an over the road truck driver, and one night he was run off the road by a drunk driver, and the cab rolled and caught fire. He was severely injured, burned over most of his body and in a coma. He was taken to the local hospital, and she was contacted. So was his family, who had for years disapproved of their arrangement.

To make a long story short, the family was considered next of kin, he was brought back the city they lived in and she was shut out of the decision making for his care. His parents wouldn't let her or the children see him. They "pulled the plug" finally and never let her see him again. She had no say so over where he was buried or the service, and she and their children weren't included. She didn't have the cost of a lawyer, he was the breadwinner, she was a stay at home mom.

I thought then, and I think now, if there was ever a argument for marriage, that was one.

Answer 5

Some people prefer to pretend that they are not married

Answer 6

My b/f refers to me as his wife when he is speaking to his work colleagues, we don't pretend as such, we are getting married next year, but I like it that he already views me as his wife.

Answer 7

No. Not even when you're really married.

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Answer 8

sounds a good idea

Answer 9

Please don't ask dumb questions.