How to make a 16 yr old boy to get back to his studies?

Question

He had been very good till his 9 th std., but suddenly while doing his 10th he had slowly lost interest in his studies. But somehow he had secured good percentage in his 10th std. public exam. Now in his higher studies he is not willing to put effort as he use to. Now he is simply glossing the mirror for almost all the time he is awake. Kindly help this sufferring father. I will build a temple to one who rescues him from this bad phase, which has brought a turmoil in the smooth functioning of the family

He was very sincere and he had dreams of becoming like our President Abdul Kalamji

Answer 1

I can feel the agony of a father. My experience says, there is a fair amount of distance between you and your son. Treat him like a friend. Instead of forcing him to study, induce him to study. It has something to do with the motivation. You have to ask him his choice of a career. What he wants to become and how? There are chances that he is infatuated by the opposite sex. You have to find out by being friendly to him. The girl in question can be of great help. Philosophy of life has to be told to him. Only the best can prevail. There is time for each and every act in life: for sex, for studies, for play, etc. Sometimes these things can go along but the prime objective has to be defined by the boy himself. Help him if he is a boy rejected in love.
The point is, you have to solve the problem through him only by helping him find the solution like a friend and not like a father. Start closing in to your son. You can play with him, go to movies and talk about general things during dinner or during play time. I hope something would work out for you.
I sincerely wish you and your son good luck.

Answer 2

He is at an age where sex has become a BIG distraction.
Take the following steps and he will be fine.
1. Cancel cable TV from home till his 12th exam is over.
2. Search his room and find out all 'bad' things like p*orn,cigarettes, alcohol stash and dispose of them. Tell him he can do all this after his exams.
3. If he has a GF, call her to your house and make them sit thru a session of 'develop your life first' lecture. Tell her to take more interest in ur son's studies and hold her responsible for good/bad results.
4. If your son has any anxiety regarding se*x, solve all his questions. It may be embarassing but it is better than he finding out wrong info.
5. Cancel his access to internet.
6. Tightly schedule his studies and monitor him.
7. Take active interest in his studies yourself.
8. Praise him for studying.

Answer 3

You have to do a lot of things. Do it as follows

1. Consult a physician and do all general check ups. Make sure your son hasn't any general medical condition, no nutritional deficiency, no tumour etc...

2. If you find nothing in the 1st step go and see a good clinical psychiatrist. The problems MAY be the beginning of a Depression or an Anxiety Disorder.

You may read these pages before going to see the doctor.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_depression
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_Disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OCD
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_fatigue_syndrome

Your son needs the support and care from parents.
Do not fight with him about this matter. No use. It will worsen the situation.

Email me if nothing works at all.

Answer 4

I think the first thing you needto do is talk to your son,I suggest you take him out some place where you could have candid talk with him.
1.Tell him that your concerned about him,tell him that you have certain expectatations from him.Dont talk to him in terms of percentages and dont copare him with others but, tell him you like him certain hours of day spending only for studies.
2.ask him how he sees his attitude towards his studies,what are his own expectations,his own ambitons.
3.at this age chidren will have some problems coming toterms with there sexuality ,individuality,peer group pressures and with authourityso, will need to a balancing act of being a friend by talking to him about these things and of being a parent byhaving wacthfull eye on his activites his peer group,it would help igf you could interact with his friends
4.tell him that you love him no matter what,but it would make you very happy seeing do well in diiferent activies that would include studies,any extracurricular activities he is intrested inand encourage him in pariticipate insuch activities.

Answer 5

The centre of interest has changed from studies to other worldly things. Counselling that studies only stand him in good stead for his future is essential. This has to be done without delay. Deciding his future with clear interests identified now also is a priority. Both these have to be got done through counselling.
VR

Answer 6

She's incorrect for attempting to take great ingredient approximately you. At age sixteen, you're nonetheless a minor. Your profile shows which you're in Dubai. The age of consent in Dubai is eighteen... That makes what she did to you, unlawful. you're in all likelihood not the 1st youngster she's taken great ingredient approximately the two. you will desire to request a clean instruct, no less than. yet rather, she would desire to be suggested on criminal rates. in case you have been a woman, and the instructor became into male, there could be no question of that instructor being put in penitentiary... Gender shouldn't count, incorrect is erroneous.

Answer 7

Well, I am no psychologist.. but what I see from your Q is that the boy may be going thru an individuality crisis which is kinda normal at that age. coz lot of changes happen in a person's life at that age. a transistion from childhood to adulthood. give him time to clear his thoughts, and let him decide what he wants to be rather than forcing your opinion on him. After all everyone has to take responsibility of themselves and their actions some day.

Answer 8

if you are a Hindu read about this temple

http://www.templetrips.com/content/blogsection/6/47/

this temple is for education

Answer 9

There is no problem. And kindly give your grown up some space.

Answer 10

Tell him he will get 72 virgins once he finishes. You know how teens are with sex these days.