He has a son who is 28, and living at home with his pregnant girlfriend. He has a daughter who is 26 and has moved in and out 3 times since I met him 5 years ago. She is a total slob, when I call his house, she intercepts the phone calls and stands by his bedroom door and listens to our conversations. She is married and has 2 little boys and they manage to take over his entire house and have no respect for his relationship with me.
He had something come up missing and I had nothing to do with it and he thinks I did it. I dont even know what he is talking about.
What would you say or do. I just ignore the kids and when they get in my way, I let them know they are interfering. They are adults now and its time to scoot on down the road. What do you say?
2006-10-02 21:54:40 · 11 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The adult son who is living at home now has been in major trouble. He has a DUI and has been in trouble with the law including an arson and theft. His dad bought him a car and he got a DUI. ended up in jail. Nothing but heartache at 28 yrs old. I would expect him to grow up and for people to quit sticking up for his irresponsible a.s.s. I expect given enough time his dad will crumble from working himself to death. He has diabetes, is on 5 different meds for hypertension and is a heart attac waiting to happen. Someone needs to intervene here and stick up for my boyfriend. I cannot believe anyone would stick up for a 28 year old man who cannot get on with his life. Its ridiculous. He is a mooch and free loader. No ambition, just another problem after another waiting to happen. He is one of those people who will mooch and use and free load until the money runs out. When his dad was in the hospital on his death bed. He never came. Not once to see him. I get so rattled over it all!
2006-10-03 11:17:48 · update #1
Yes it is time they pick up and move on, however, it is his choice to make them do so. And any suggestion of this from you will only cause a bad situation between the two of you. And unfortunately, it looks as though he is not willing or even able to make them do so. Life is to short, I would not waste another moment in this dysfunctional situation, I would move on, or only see him outside of the house. If he continues in this way, he is going to end up old and alone. No woman is going to deal with that for very long. Children should be respectful of the relationship he has going on and should not be involved it in at all, and they are only going to continue to go out of their way to make you very unhappy. Move on and be true to yourself, don't you feel you deserve better. Maybe he will wake up and make sense of the situation and figure it a out and do something about it, however, I would not hold my breath. good luck and God bless
2006-10-02 22:03:35 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been with him for over five years? You should have been gone a long time ago. The kids will always be in his life, and if you "can't stand them" then you will always feel like an outsider and that's how they will view you too.
You're an adult now, maybe it's time for you to scoot on down the road!
2006-10-02 22:18:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most instances I would say that you shouldn't come between and man or woman and their children but in this case - tell your boyfriend that he has to choose.
Adult children shouldn't interfere with their parents relationships. They aren't kids anymore and should stop acting like they are.
I am 40 and my parents are in their 60's, we are more like friends now and treat each other with respect and dignity. I never interfere with their decisions and only give my advice if asked and vice versa, they don't tell me how to run my life unless I ask.
If he won't tell his kids to mind their own business then it is totally up to you if you end it or not. I don't think you should listen to a bunch of strangers who don't know the whole situation.
2006-10-02 23:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by wickedly_funny66 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, its time for you to move on. You will never be able to come between a man and his child. Irregardless of the age of his children, he will not (and shouldn't) choose you over them.
You have to understand that you are the "replacement" to their Mom and Grandma, so its harder for them to adjust to having someone else in that place.
Yes, they should respect you because you are the woman their father choose to be with but it doesn't always work out that way.
If I were you, I'd get out and move on to something that will make you happy! Good Luck!
2006-10-02 22:03:22 · answer #4 · answered by Older Sister 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its always tough getting int he middle of parents and their kids but your boyfriend has to learn to separate the two. explain how this is making you feel and you feel the two of you are in trouble because of it, don't put it in a way though that makes it sound like you are asking him to choose or you will lose trust me on that one Hun.
maybe suggest that when he sees you his kids respect that and when he sees them you respect that. put aside some time to be with him where it really is just the two of you. his kids need to show you the same respect. they are adults and should be way more mature than this. your BF also should make a stand he has the right to be happy.
2006-10-02 21:59:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hasnt realised that his kids are affecting your relationship and he is blaming you for something you aint even done, (have you tried to tell him you dont know what he is talking about? ) then he aint really taking your feeling into all this is he!!
personally i would piss off. the kids obviously dont want anyone to take him away from them. Maybe you should speak to the kids say to your other half you are sick of it, and say you are going to speak to them. just an idea, if it dont go well least you know you have tried. xXx
2006-10-02 22:01:06 · answer #6 · answered by Fader's Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never try to come between a man and his children.
If you dont theink there is any way you will ever be able to tolerate them and try to have a decent relationship with the kids, you need to move on, for your own sake as well as theirs
2006-10-02 21:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by bambi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
too many adults in one house,,there is looking out for dad and just being childish,,he is a grown man so he needs to confront them,not you,,you wont win anyhow so let him do it,,if he likes the arrangement,living wise,,move on,,,find a man who doesnt have boundry problems.
2006-10-03 00:38:35 · answer #8 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN. He is enabling them, this pattern will not stop. If you move on and he is serious about you he will make the necessary changes to get you back.
2006-10-02 21:58:56 · answer #9 · answered by shane m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 years wit him?You are a strong and patient lady!but i guess it's better to give up the relationship and safe yourself,unless he really love yoou and will ask the kids to leave both of you alone.They're adults,they should know wat to do.Wish you all the best!The best is,do the thinking yourself and decide what's best for you.
2006-10-02 22:04:21 · answer #10 · answered by ike mie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋