I love an addict. I do not wish to be with him at this time but he is self destructing by abusing alcohol and cocaine. He has lost 2 great jobs because he couldn't get out of bed in the morning, kicked me (the person who loves and cares about him more than anything) out of his life, he continues to push me away and I am pregnant with his unborn son. Pushes away his family and ex friends. He has been making poor heartless decisions including running around with a 34 year old married woman (he is 22), he is living in his parents basement, partying nightly and still has no job. His parents are obviously blind or naive because they are not seeing what is happening to him. He is on a downward spiral. I care for him so how can I help. How can I make his parents see before he hits rock bottom? Or is that the only way he will get better? How will he see that what he is doing now will have a drastic effect on the relationship of his son? I can give more detail if needed.
2006-10-02 21:39:58 · 7 answers · asked by shane m 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
I am very sorry that you love an addict. Unfortunately for you and your unborn child, an addict will only stop participating in the addictive behavior when they either hit rock bottom or admit their problem. You cannot "make" them better themselves unless they want to. If he was younger than 18, his parents could have put him into a rehab; but since he is an adult there is not too much that anyone can do. You need to take care of yourself and your child. A person who is an addict can be very dangerous to himself and others. He could physically harm you and/or your child; without meaning to. You can attempt to talk to his parents about this, if you are close to them; but you cannot do anything more. His parents are most likely well aware of what is going on, and are trying to "take care" of him by letting him live with them. All they are really doing is enabling the behavior, but they do not realize it. When a person is addicted to anything, the addiction is running their life, and is their only want or need; and everything else in their life has no bearing on their decisions and everyday existence. If you cannot talk to his parents, you need to stay away from him, for your own good and well-being and especially for the good and well-being of your child. I know too many people who are dealing with people in their lives who are addicts, and cannot live life because of it. They spend their time and energy worrying about if this person is going to be drinking and driving, or taking drugs and getting into fights or getting arrested or physically harming them while they (the addict) is under the influence. Talk to his parents, and for your own safety, stay away as much as is possible. Best of luck and I will pray for all of you.
2006-10-02 22:05:49 · answer #1 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to know your matter. Well you want to retain your relationship, its appreciable, but you will have to overcome huge hurdle.
I think you may explain in details all the fact to his parents, if possible take some support from his ex-office colleagues/supervisor, their statement would be more acceptable to them. And do this very honestly and be careful to avoid any miscue.
2006-10-03 06:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by Zia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
O gawd...i ask myself how people get into these relationships.
Well lets see...this is hard for me to say, but apparently theres nothing you can do to help someone like that.They will have to learn and change on their own.Especailly when their parents are that...oblvious to his life.You heart goes out to you...your in for a tough time.Best thing u should do for yourself is talk to someone....ne1...a professional if you need to.Seriously u cant be alone in situations like these....the more u wait....the less likely you'll be able to make yourself open up to others.
2006-10-03 04:51:54 · answer #3 · answered by chesscrazz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Face facts and just get away from him. you most likely are contributing to his problems. I know you do not mean to. How can you love someone that does not even care about you one bit. They may say they do and sometimes oven act as they do. not real at all just another excuse.
Go make a life for you. Stop being a bleeding heart for this one.
2006-10-03 05:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should join a support group like Al-Anon (I think that's what it is called). I can't advise you myself as I've not been in your situation but there are these groups and they are full of expertise on ways to cope and ways to help in your situation. Try googling for Al Anon. Or you could ask the Salvation Army or Lifeline and places like that for the names of groups. Good luck, he is lucky to have you with your steadfast loyalty. I hope you find what you are looking for.
2006-10-03 04:48:59 · answer #5 · answered by TC 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though he does need to hit rock bottom before he realises what is happening. It may be hard but you are better off without him.
2006-10-03 04:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by SR13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
set an example. try to show him how tbeautiful the world is.
2006-10-03 04:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by NOCTURN8 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋