i'm currently seeing someone -T- and he means a lot to me but my brother is so strict on me that he doesn't allow me to have a boyfriend... my brother caught T sneaking over my house one night and totally freaked out... T took off but my brother got his cell fone... and turned it into the cops... he reported an attempt of burglary..
after that... i've been using my cellphone to call T late ate night... everynight so far... but my brother just said that he's gon' check the phonebill now to make sure im not talking to anyone... @ first i couldn't even c T... now i can't even talk to him on the fone... n his house just got ROBBED! >.< so he can't go online... he doesn't believe me that i miss him and that he means a lot to me... and now? there's no way i can prove it...
my brother says he'll kick me out of the house if he ever catches me with another guy and this isn't fair to T... i really like him... what should i do?... im so confused... so sad... so lost! help!!
2006-10-02 19:47:17 · 9 answers · asked by -s1ghs- 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i goin to turn 18 in 24 days... i live with my oldest brother (his wife n son) and my parents... i come from a VERY strict asian family and... there's no such thing as move out... they want me to live with them all the way until im married or something! i mean i love my parents! i understand y the want that but... i can't stand my brother ALWAYS restricting me...
moving out is out of the question when it comes to my family... and i moved here to "work" for my brother but so far it's not working out either... and they don't allow me to go out and get a job... they say to concentrate on school and they'll take care of the rest...that's y i love my parents but... *sighs* i am 2 obedient 2 b outwardly defiant... so is there nothing i can do under these circumstances?
2006-10-02 19:59:57 · update #1
I think your brother is looking after you making sure you don't screw up your life. Maybe your brother thinks T is not a good person to hang out with. Who you are is who you associates with. And maybe your brother thinks you're too young to have a boyfriend. What if you got pregnant? What if your parents found out and they blame him that he didn't watch over you. He's doing his part as a big brother. Maybe he knows something about T that you don't. Perhaps you should ask your brother why he restrict you from seeing him? I'm sure he will tell you why. The person that warns you about other person is the person who cares about you. If he doesn't care about you, do you think he will waste his time correcting you? Do you think he will let you live with him? he's only doing for your best interest even though you don't think so....but someday you'll thank him for puting up with you.
As for T, just tell him to be patience while you're working things out with your brother. If he doesn't believe you and don't respect your space, then he's not the right man for you then. If he loves you, he will be willing to wait.
As asian like you, I can understand where you are coming from. My parent lives in CA an I live in WI. My parent sent my brother here to get his education and his life going. He's 16. It was very tough to watch over him, because if anything happens to him, it will be my responsibility. He wants girlfriends and everything. He caused troubles at school and at church camp. He knew it was wrong, but he did it anyway. It was very tough to deal with a teenager. There are many times when I yell at him for doing the wrong things, and all he does is cry because he knows he have no excuses. When I yell at him, I still love and care for him because I only want the best for him. I want him to succeed. If you ever need to talk, please let me know. We can instant message each other because you can't talk on the phone.
2006-10-02 20:10:54 · answer #1 · answered by Cava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to play house then you need a job and an education first. If you are under 18 then you better forget it. You will thank your brother later for not letting you run around and get PG being stupid. Grow up, Get smart, Get a good career doing what you love most in life, Then if T is still in the picture DO IT!At least you'll be able to pay the bills!
2006-10-02 19:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by RhinoBoy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to move to another house, your brother is a control freak, but it depends on how old you are, if you are under 18, then he sees you as a minor. You havent really given enough info to get a good answer... need to know how old you are, what your living situation is, etc. But at this stage, move out, go live with relatives who respect you more, and wil give you space.
2006-10-02 19:55:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mercurio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there honey... maybe your brother's being strict on you b/c he's a bit insecure about you growing up. from what i could tell... it seems like your brother played a big part in your life. maybe he's scared that someone will take his place as the "man in your life". you should try introducing your boyfriend to your brother . let them get to know each other. maybe then your brother will realize that your boyfriend's a nice guy. then he'll be more chill with you. hope everything works out :)
2006-10-02 19:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by Bena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get some outside help to call you brother off. He shouldn't be setting the rules in the house if you live there too. You have rights and your brother shouldn't hinder them either.
The next time you see your BF tell him to get a new cell and cell number and start communicating with him again. Just remember your brother isn't the ruler of your life.
2006-10-02 19:52:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait until you're 18. Then give your brother the middle finger.
If you are over 18 and living with your bro, maybe you should concentrate on being financially independent first.
2006-10-02 19:52:52 · answer #6 · answered by BlueChimera 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
THis all depends on how old you are. And where is your parents?
Is your brother older....and why is he the boss over you
If you are older, justs get a job and move out.
It you are a kid you might need to obey whoever is your parental figure.
Let yourself get older and then you can date whom ever you want to
2006-10-02 19:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont give up keep fighting it prove that when
it comes to love nothing stands in the way
2006-10-02 20:00:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on !! a family that doesn't allow love. that's INSANE !!!
2006-10-02 19:56:12 · answer #9 · answered by BIG BEN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋