Funny bumper stickers?

Question

I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

The Earth Is Full -- Go Home

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to Me

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Post any that you have. I will give 10 pts to the funniest one.

Answer 1

Make Love Not War, see the Driver in the Car !

I am born with perfection., Education ruined me.

I dont know how to spell F*ck because U are missing !!

Just did it !

Handle with car[e]

Answer 2

Great Bumper Stickers

· Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

· I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

· Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

· I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

· I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

· Keep honking, I'm reloading.

· As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

· God must love stupid people, he made so many.

· Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

· It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

· I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

· Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.


Bumper snickers


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are dead?


Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they
know there is no money in the account?


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks
when you throw a revolver at him?


Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?


What is the speed of darkness?


If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the
others doing here?


Can you cry under water?


How important does a person have to be before they can be
assassinated instead of just murdered?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out
it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


In fairness, if a deaf person has to go to court, is it
still called a hearing?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change clothes?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Answer 3

Those are really funny! Thanks.

You said that you wanted more, well here are a few:

4 out of 5 voices in my head say Go For It!
A hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest?
A real gentleman wouldn't stare at my stickers.
Answer my prayer -- steal this car.
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Back Off! I'm a Postal Worker
Back off! I'm not that kind of car.
Beat rush hour, leave work at noon
Bipartisanship: I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my a-s-s
CAUTION! - Driver legally blonde!
CAUTION! I can go from 0 to B-I-T-C-H in 2.5 seconds
Clear the road I'm SIXTEEN
Come The Rapture Can I Have Your Car?
Cover me! I'm changing lanes.
Daddy Farted, and we Can't get out!!
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Don't assume I'm not into cheap meaningless sex
Don't follow me. I'm lost too.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Don't worry…it's only kinky the first time.
Driver carries no cash. He's married.
Forget About World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
FREE TIBET! (with the purchase of a 44 oz. drink).
Get off my a-s-s before I start to like it!
God is Coming and is she P-I-S-S-E-D
God was my co-pilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him
Heavily medicated for your safety.
Hello, officer. Put it on my tab.
Help! I Farted and can't roll down my windows!
Horn Broken Watch for Finger
I'm a nice guy. My car is evil.
I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to work.
I'm only driving this way to p-i-s-s you off.
I'm Out of Estrogen And I Have a Gun
I'm looking for the right pedestrian to run over.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I'm Not Losing Hair I'm Getting Head
I'm not playing with myself, I'm just adjusting my jewellery.
I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
I am not a bum. My wife works!
I brake suddenly for tailgaters
I don't care, I don't have to.
I gave up drinking, smoking and sex - Worst 15 minutes of my life
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
I have a drink problem - I can't afford it.
I have a nice body. It's in my trunk.
I have good Brakes, Do you have GOOD Insurance?
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
I is a college student.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
I love cats they taste like chicken
I may be a Cruel and Heartless B-i-t-c-h But I'm damn good at it
I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I respect your opinion. Just don't want to hear it!
I still have the body of an 18 year old but it's in my trunk and it's starting to smell
I Still Miss My "Ex" But My Aim Is Improving
I suffer from c.r.s. (can't remember s-h-i-t)
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I want to be just like Barbie That B-I-T-C-H Has Everything!
I Wasn't Born A B-i-t-c-h Men Like You Make Me That Way
If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!
If I wanted to hear from an ********** I'd fart
If this car is being driven courteously it's been stolen.
If we call it tourist season why can't we shoot them?
If You Are Born Again Do You Have Two Belly Buttons ?
If you are not a hemorrhoid then get off my a-s-s!
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
If you don't like my attitude, stop looking at my Stickers!
Invest in America. Buy a Congressman!
It's time to pull over and change the air in your head!
It sucks to be a man in a lesbians body.
Jesus is coming look busy.
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an **********
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control!
Lord give me patience... But Hurry!
Make It Idiot Proof and Someone Will Make a Better Idiot
Men are Idiots and I married their King
My daughter turned down your honor student!
My Goddess Gave Birth To Your God
My other bumper sticker is funny.
My other car is a broom
My other car is also a piece of junk
Of All The Things I've Lost I Miss My Mind The Most
Out of my mind (back in 5 minutes)
Pissing off the whole planet one person at a time
Politicians & Diapers need to be changed... often for the same reason
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself
Sex is my religion.. let us pray!
So Many Cats, So Few Recipes
So many pedestrians. So little time!
Somewhere in Texas there's a village missing an idiot
Sorry if I look interested, I'm not!
THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME
Think this looks bad? You should see the front.
This Is Not An Abandoned Vehicle
Why Are You Staring At My Bumper!? You Pervert!
Work harder!! Millions on welfare are depending on you.
Yes, This Is My Truck No, I Won't Help You Move
Your child may be an honors student, but You're still an idiot.
YOU SAY I'M A B-I-T-C-H LIKE IT'S A BAD THING

Answer 4

Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things?
He has an Adams apple that isn’t an apple...
* Two calves that will never become cows...
* A nose bridge that doesn’t lead anywhere...
* A roof of the mouth that won’t cover anything...
* Twenty nails that won’t hold a board...
* A chest that won’t hold linen...
* Two t!ts that won’t give milk...
* Two buns that won’t feed anyone...
* A belly button that wont button...
* Two balls that won’t roll...
* An @ss that won’t pull a plow...
* An organ that won’t play music...
* A c0ck that won’t crow...
...And what are YOU laughing about?
You’ve got a p#ssy that won’t catch mice!

Answer 5

keep honking im reloading/i love animals they taste great/did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again/support your right to arm bears/the guy with the most toys when he dies wins/draft suv drivers first/get any closer and ill flick a booger on your windshield/hows my driving 1-800-get bent/and this one was on a friends car when we were teenagers the car was very ugly dents needed paint sticker said dont laugh your daughter might be in here/hang up and drive/if you dont like the way i drive stay off the side walk/was funny back in the 1970s to much of that crap going on now days you would get pulled over to bad

Answer 6

Behind every successful man is a suprised woman!

I'm not going to vavuum till Dyson make one I can ride!

I try to take one day at a time -but sometimes several days attack me at once!

Answer 7

boys are stupid-throw rocks at them!

my other car is........ up my nose!

your village called...they want their idiot back!

my other ride.....is your boyfriend!

size doesn't matter,it's...no,wait a minute,what am i saying?never mind........

don't drink and drive,take drugs and fly

men are from jupiter,'cause they're so much stupider

eat,drink,and be fat and drunk

you smell like butt!

mean people suck

heavily medicated for your protection

fat people are harder to kidnap

i get sh*tfaced drunk-what's your hobby?

if it has tires or test*cles,it's gonna be trouble

there's a village in texas that's missing it's idiot

i like it sloppy and wierd!

Answer 8

There was a guy who had a pair of ultra-shiny Italian handcrafted shoes worth about P150,000. They were so shiny that you could see your reflection in it. One day, a friend invited him to a ballroom dance party. He was excited because he could show off his expensive Italian shoes. At the ballroom, he danced with the first girl he laid his eyes on. “You are wearing red underwear, am I right?” “How did you know,” the girl asked, amazed. “See my shoes? They’re so shiny I can take a peek from under your skirt!” He danced with another girl. “I know you are wearing yellow thongs, am I right?” “How did you know,” the girl asked. “See my shoes? They’re so shiny I can take a peek from under your skirt!” He asked another girl to dance, but this time he got worried because he wasn’t sure what he saw in the reflection, so he asked the girl: “You aren’t wearing any underwear, are you?” The girl was amazed. “How did you know that I wasn’t wearing any underwear?!” With her reaction, the guy felt very relieved. “I got worried a bit there because I thought I saw a crack in my Italian handcrafted shoes!”

Answer 9

I saw a good one once that said :

Bacteriologists have multiple organisms.

Answer 10

Here's one I say last week on the back of an SUV in Sherman Oaks:

KEEP YOUR ROSARIES OFF OF MY OVARIES.