I dont understand why I cant just have regular guy friends, every guy I want to get to know, I end up messing around with. I feel like there is something wrong with me, my friends tell me I have a problem with flirting with guys, but I dont see it and I dont know what it is i'm doing wrong, I want to just have close guy friends like my other friends do, but it never works. I dont want to be known as a whore,but I know alot of guys already think I am, even though I dont have sex with them. This is something that hurts me deep inside. I have heard of girls that have had problems like this that may have something to do with having sex at a youg age or being molested, which happened to me, but I dont know much about it. I dont really know where to go or who to ask about a problem like this but I would really like help or advice on having normal relationships or some tips on how to be friends with a guy without flirting or something cause I really dont know what to do.
2006-10-02 18:33:20 · 10 answers · asked by Paris 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It just may be your personality. I'm the same way. I hang with guys better than girls, but some guys like that and become attracted, and, it seems like you have type A personality, meaning you're pretty outgoing, so you're easily attracted to them. I had to just stop hanging out with guys, especially alone, and especially if I wasn't into them like that. And so what if they think you're a whore. People are going to think what they want no matter how wrong the info is and if they really know the truth, cause people can be jerks. And if someone is trying to say you're a whore, it's probably because they're pissed that it's tough to get into your pants. This is actually a good thing. The people who don't listen to rumors and stuff like that, are the people you want to be friends with, because they're more mature and think on a higher level. I'm married to a 2LT in the ARMY and live on post, which means everyone I live around Is married, you can't live on post in housing and be single, single people live in barraks, or off post. I still have married men saying stuff to me that makes me uncomfortable being around them alone, so I just stay to myself until their is a get together or something. It is difficult, and I once was in your boat. AND Deffinately DO NOT HAVE SEX unless you really like the person and know then very well and are in a good relationship. I too was molested when I was younger, and I used sex as a way to feel pretty. I figured, who wants to have sex with an ugly girl, so if they want to do it with me then I must be pretty. WRONG!!!!!!!! MOST guys want sex no matter what. It's the guy that doesn't try to get in your pants, no matter how badly he wants it, that you want to be with. My hubby and I were friends at first, and I lied to my parents telling them I was sleeping over a girl friends house, just so I could stay out late. All my friends parents were home accept my hubby's. So I stayed there. He and I liked each other, but neither of us told each other, you could just tell. He put me in the guest bedroom, gave me some clothes to sleep in and he slept in his room 1 floor up and never once tried anything with me. It was then that I fell in love with him. Because just a few months before, I had vowed never to have sex with another guy until I was in love with him, and he was in love with me. So we dated a while before doing it and now we're very happily married. I hope, my experience will help you since I know exactly how you feel. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-10-02 18:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by afafae25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby, it's called SELF CONTROL..
And I'm not trying to be a smart azz when I say that...
It sounds like you feel obligated to open your legs when the guy makes advances towards you but if you're out there trying to find male friends on another level stand your ground. Most guys have very few female friends that don't provide "benefits" on the side so make it clear to yourself AND TO THE MEN regarding your purpose of making male friends, otherwise - DON'T
and THAT'S some real sh!t....
Nic
2006-10-03 01:51:03 · answer #2 · answered by NicNac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a heterosexual female. You are attracted to men. You are normal. Most friendships where both are of the opposite sex, there is always one who is atleast slightly attracted to the other. Everyone has weaknesses. Men is obviously one of yours. Unless the males are relatives of yours you should consider keeping company with other women friends. Do you have a boyfriend? If you don't consider getting out there and dating around. Maybe you need one special male friend to keep company with. There is nothing wrong with that.
2006-10-03 01:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by Denise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes if you don't have a male role model to give you the type of affection that is healthy you seek it out in other guys, in your case, your guy friends. It's easier to feel close to someone when you guys have messed around because you feel like you bonded or grew closer or whatever when really he just sees you as an object. Maybe you should talk to someone about it.
2006-10-03 01:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Gorgeous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well most people that have been molested do not act like that way towards guys. they tend to fear them. But to answer the question it is possible to be just friends with a guy. it is all about control. If you are looking for just a friend than you need to act that way. If you are looking for more than the signs will show. you are in control.
2006-10-03 01:43:31 · answer #5 · answered by Stephi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by becoming friends with gay men. You will be less likely to want to flirt with them. Then work your way to bi men and eventually you will be able to hang around straight guys without flirting with them and then you'll be able to develop close friendships that do not lead to fooling around.
2006-10-03 01:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by Avia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the most part, guys don't girls that are just "friends." They want girls because they can love them. Just stick with having friends that are girls instead.
2006-10-03 01:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh,hell,Hon,just keep up the good work!
2006-10-03 01:36:40 · answer #8 · answered by Putt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
same as like me, dont wait just mail me for true friend santosh_22880@yahoo.co.in,
2006-10-03 03:43:16 · answer #9 · answered by santosh s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all about will. just tell yourself that you wont let it happen and stop yourself. or tell him you wont do it. but its all about you. you cant stop it unless you want to.
stop it. now.
2006-10-03 01:37:08 · answer #10 · answered by phnx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋