Men: How Come..?

Question

you wont look at an overweight girl, but the moment she looses weight and gets a tiny waist your all over it?

i mean she didnt change, shes the same person, same bubbley personality, same smile, just shes tan and thin now..

how come?

she cared about her looks before, she was the same beautiful girl, she just was pale & freckled. she lost some weight (okay alot) and got tan and now u can barely see her freckles and guys are all over her.

she just broke up with her boyfriend of three years for a guy who would of NEVER looked at her before.

im not talkin about me, want a pic, email me, but other than that, no im not talking about myself, im fairly skinny (28" waist) and my boyfriend is a big man but i like it, hes a teddybear and its sexy :) hes got muscles!

well my ex bf, we broke up yesterday. anyway thats a whole other story.

Answer 1

It's sad but true, girl. Most men are dogs. Yes, I said MOST so I don't get a bunch of **** from guys on here.

Answer 2

There is a perfect legit reason: Being Overweight is a sign of being unhealthy. Men want a woman who can take care of herself. The reason over weight people are not attractive is instinctive. When looking for mates, a male will tend to go for the female that looks to be the most fertile. (This is why big breasts and big thighs are so desirable.) The fat on an obese woman will overshadow her feminine characteristics, thus making her less desirable as a mate.

Answer 3

There have been some good answers here, but none that address one of the core reasons:

We pick mates, sometimes subconsciously and sometimes consciously, that we think will both produce strong, capable offspring and mates that will be able to take care of and teach those offspring well. It's ingrained in our DNA to do so. That we've wrapped this complex social or religious or cultural ritual thing around courtship is irrelevant -- it still has the same goal.
From that point of view, a woman who is obviously overweight, who doesn't take good care of herself, who isn't strong in either body or willpower -- that woman makes a poor mate. She'll have health problems, making her possibly a poor choice to produce offspring. She obviously can't teach those offspring good self control or healthy eating or living habits. And since overweight people have shorter life expectancies, she may not even be around to raise the offspring.
We often don't even know the reasons we judge mates this way, since it's so instinctual...but we all do it, both women and men.

Answer 4

Ashley, it goes back to the nature of men. They are very visual. Women are somewhat the same if you notice. Would you go out with a guy who was not athletic and toned, slobby, bad-mannered and did not take good care of himsef? Something about person's appearance makes them special about themselves. And you don't have to be skinny and lose a lot of weight, just try to stay in shape, do some exercise, go for walks in the park and along the beach, walk to the store and up the stairs instead of driving or using elevator, avoid junk food and be yourself. The right man will appreciate you for what you are.

Answer 5

Carry this query forward 20 years, and then read this answer:

I fell in love with a woman who was a bit heavy...Not so much that she couldn't carry it, but nonetheless.
3 years later she had dropped 40 pounds, looked like liquid dynamite, and decided I wasn't good enough for her. We have always been great friends, and work well together, but I found out right then that I wasn't worth that much effort from her to look good.
We moved in together later that year, and she started to gain back the weight (and MORE). We married almost 10 years after we met, and have been hitched 13 years now.

The problems began about 6 years into the relationship: I began to see that she really didn't care what she looked like NO MATTER WHAT I wanted out of things...She was in control and I was stuck with it.
After a while, I stopped taking her better places, began to look at other women obviously, and dropped hints that I was not comfortable with her appearance. She has done precious little to rectify the situation and many factors in our life have suffered the consequences. All these factors have not deterred my love for her...the problem remains.

Sad, but true: Men are a VISUALLY motivated species and we respond greatly to visual stimulus.

What the weight gain says to me is not as much "I don't care about you" as much as it portrays an "I don't care about ME" attitude from her.

Lesson: Men respond to thin women in a higher degree because (to us) it shows a greater degree of caring about yourself (keeping yourself up) and wanting to look good for the "eye candy" on YOUR arm too.

It's not just a one way street.

BTW, I have had a 30" waist since high school, and still keep it BECAUSE IT MATTERS!

Answer 6

Becuase men are very visual. We want skinny chicks with a nice rack. That is what I am dating now, and I won't change for a fat chick ever. EVER. Do you like fat guys? Do you look at a fat dude from accross the room and wonder "gee, I wonder if he has a great personality?" No, we like healthy people. If you watch "friends" you will see that Monica was a lot hotter as a skinny chick than a fat one. Although I do find bigger girls more attractive if they have a really cool personality, but I still wouldn't date them. I work hard to keep my body in shape, she should too.

Answer 7

Are you kidding me? Let's reverse this:

Women: How Come?

you wont look at an overweight guy, but the moment he looses weight and gets six-pack abs you're all over it?

i mean he didnt change, he's the same person, same personality, same smile, just he's tan and jacked now..

how come?

Answer 8

For the same reason that you woman won't have a thing to do with a guy when hes broke and struggling to make ends meet, but put some money in his bank account and its a different story.

Answer 9

Because an overweight girl is often not as attractive as one that is less heavy. Geez, is this your first day on planet earth? You really didn't know this? The same is true with men. Generally women find a nice trim man more appealing than some fat slob sitting on the couch drinking a beer and eating chips.

Answer 10

it is unfortunate but that is how our society is. A lot can be blamed on all the magazines that are out there today, there is a certain standard that women have to live up to. it's not the right but that is what most women and men see as being what a woman should be. I like a thick girl but not obese, you should still care about who you are.

Answer 11

Because now she's more appealing to the eye. I know it's shallow but it's true guys won't give you the time of day if your overweight which sucks because a lot of the time they miss out on getting to know a really cool girl.