Why do I have such a hard time supporting my BF, who is grieving the potential loss of his dog?

Question

I feel very guilty. His dog, who is 14, is very ill. My BF is getting him all sorts of test, transfusions, and maybe even surgery. I am concerned about him, the dog, etc. We have been spening much less time together, and I hate it. Isn't that terrible? I wish he could let the dog go....he is prolonging the agony. But that is not my business, and he has the right to do it however he chooses. I miss him.... His moods are hard to handle. He is alternately sweet, worried that he is going to lose me over this, then snaps at me.....I feel so low right now. I am a recovering alcoholic, and I don't do feelings well..... When someone is in extreme pain, I want to get away.

Answer 1

Go to an AA meeting! At least call your sponsor. Your BF will be ok he has to grieve at his own pace. You need a meeting.

Answer 2

that's advantageous and fully universal so you might sense the way which you do. don't sense guilt. there replace into no longer something you could desire to have accomplished. dogs get previous and unwell. know which you gave him a marvelous life on an identical time as he replace into right here.know that he enjoyed you very plenty and alter into chuffed. you will grieve. i will't make it easier to recognize the way long those feeling will final. quite everyone grieves in any different case. There are no longer any regulations for grieving. in simple terms know that the innovations that are inflicting you lots discomfort now, will sooner or later replace into marvelous and loving innovations. i do no longer know what your religious ideals are yet, I haven't any doubt that as quickly because it is your turn to bypass, your dogs would be waiting perfect there to greet you in Heaven. he would be chuffed and healthful and excited to work out you. you would be mutually back. in simple terms supply your self time to grieve. that's distinctive for each individual. some human beings bypass in the present day out and purchase yet another domestic dog to fill the void on an identical time as, others can take over a 300 and sixty 5 days until now they are in a position to even think of roughly it. despite permits you to get by this, do it. i'm so sorry on your loss. My dogs is 14 now and that i'm in absolute panic mode. you would be ok. I promise.

Answer 3

I hate to say this, but your bf is trying to stop the inevitable. He probably needs to exhaust every means possible avoiding the dog's death to keep himself from feeling guilty. Give him space during this time and be there for him if he needs you. As a dog lover and a man, I know we can get very attached to a dog, especially after 14 years. He is experiencing the potential loss of a family memeber, emotions will be high. Don't take it personally and don't let it push you back in the bottle.

Answer 4

First of all it's HIS dog no wonder you might feel less attached to the situation. People greive differently, he's losing something he loves and holds dear to him. If you can't be sympethetic and patient, give him alittle space but remain supportive. If he's worried about losing you over this there is probably more to it. Recovering alcoholic? Go to a meeting and throw it out, see what feed back you get. Live and let live.

Answer 5

Grief and loss kick up all sorts of emotions. It doesn't matter if you are watching a person die or a pet, it still cuts through to the soul.
Anger, anxiety, guilt, sorrow, dispair- all these things are normal with impending loss, and with loss.

But as you try to be there for him, you also need to be there for yourself.
You are in recovery, do you have a support group?
Go to it.

Also, call your local vets and ask if there is a pet loss grief group in your area, they are for not only people who's pets have died, but people who are facing loss as well.

If you can, hang in there. This is a sad, and hard part of lilfe, and hisloss when it comes may bring both relief and make parts of this worse, but if you care for each other, you can get through this.

Give him the space to grieve and be with his dog, and take care of yourself.

Answer 6

for some people .. losing a pet is like losing a spouse, mother, father, sibling, etc. some people consider their pets to be family members.

if he was losing his mother or father .. how would you feel then? would you feel the same way? or would you dig deep and realize he's in a lot of pain and probably feels horrible .. for showing that side of himself to anyone.

you need to re-evaluate how much you really want this man. if you can't support him during this very important time for you .. perhaps you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. relationships are good and bad .. and you have to take both of them .. if you can't do that .. then you're holding him back from finding someone who can.

congratulations on your recovery ... but don't punish him for you not being able to deal with deep feelings and the hurt of losing a loved one.

Answer 7

Try to be there with him when he goes to the vet. All you can do is be absolutly 100% supportive. Let him know your there for him, try to help in ANY way you can. It will be appreciated after all is said and done (if his pup lives or dies). He will remember it.

I helped my fiance when his dog got pyometra (not as serious but could have killed her). I did everything (contacted the vet, set the apointments) to let him worry and work. I went with him to the vets to drop her off and pick her up (took time off work even!). He really appreaciated it. He too was moody and cranky untill she was ok. He still thanks me for it (this happened in June).

You love him, so let him know more than ever.

Answer 8

Try to seek another friend or sister or a member of your family. Tell them about your situation and try to be open about your feelings. Seek their advice while they may also suggest ways to help you with the grieving BF

Answer 9

sorry u r goin thru this, but hes had the dog 14 yrs
bee pollen with organic honey will make u feel wonderful
and st johns wort, evening primrose oil with fish oil will make u feel even better
ur bf is probably allergic to his fav food, this could be homogenised milk, beef, coffee, sugar,cheese n fried food

Answer 10

I PRAYED a PRAYER 4 both of you to day. huggs+ kisses + love star