my 5 year old daughter has just recently started telling me she hates me how do I get her to stop this?

Answer 1

I have 2 boys, one is 14.5 now and the other is 9.

I will tell you that I heard this way more at age 4/5/6 than I have heard yet from the teen. In fact, the teen tells me he loves me at least once a day and hugs me... in public!!

The worst thing you can do is overreact.... or withhold FOOD. Good grief! I don't care what was seen on TV!

With my son, it would usually come from being told he couldn't do something or have something or that he had to clean up a mess or whatever... and they do get it from other kids. I would react very casually and say something like "Well, I'm very sorry to hear that, because I love you very much... but you still need to _____ (go to bed, brush teeth, clean the mess, whatever)"...

You can try telling her how it makes you feel when she says that. Some kids are more sensitive and that is all that needs to happen. Other kids will continue for the reaction they get, if they get an angry or dramatic one.

This is very very normal. It will pass.

Answer 2

What are her reasons? Ask her why? She's 5, she can give an answer for that strong of an emotion. Explain what hate really means to her. Could it be that someone is coaching her to say those things? Again she's "5".....ask her more questions friend. Your bound to figure it out by what she says. Also, tell her she must absolutely stop saying this to you. It's disrespectful, and hurtful. Explain those words to her. Use illustrations to get your point across. Use her toys to roll play her and you and the affect her words have on you or anyone else she is saying this to.

C'mon parents.....draw your child out.....sometimes there are deep reasons they voice such things. Sometimes they repeat what they've heard somewhere else.

Answer 3

By not reacting emotionally. Tell her that that is not an appropriate thing to say (calmly and firmly). Kids experiment with words, emotions, and reactions. They do not always know what they are doing exactly. My daughter once told me (I think she was about 5 at the time) that I would die when she turned 7. She is way past 7 - and I'm not dead. She does not hate you. She is socially experimenting in a safe environment.

Answer 4

There must be a reason why she's acting like that. It's not normal for me or I would say it's not normal for my culture to have a 5 year old kid saying that to the parents. She must have pick it up somewhere. Please don't ignore her behaviour. By ignoring, you just trying to tell her that it is OK to say that. Find out what is it that she's not happy about and tell her there's a way for her to talk to you. Ask her if she really hates you and what she wants to do next? Reason out to her why you're scolding her(if you have & that make she hates you). But you need to sit down and talk to her nicely and tell her you're upset with her behaviour and hoping that she'll be a good girl.
All the best!

Answer 5

My 7 year old started this with me recently. She has expressed anger for which I don' t know where it is exactly coming from. I suggest some one-on-one time with her. Try to figure out what is making her so upset. My daugter's biggest gripe with me is that she feels that she doesn't have enough time to spend with me. Don't know if that's the same with your daughter or not. Good luck and enjoy some cuddle time with your little one.
Can't wait for the teenage years!!!

Answer 6

It is common for younger kids to have few words to explain their feelings. I'm sure she doesn't really "hate" you.

If you respond by repeating what she's said, but with more appropriate words she will feel validated and may be willing to explain herself further. For example, "Wow, you sound really angry. Can you tell me more so I can help?".

Continue to help her narrow down what it is that is making her angry at the moment, by using more specific words. For example: "Were you frustrated that we had to leave?".

If the only thing you react to is her choice of words, she's not going to learn what to say and do when she gets upset or angry. Let her know that "hate" is a hurtful and inappropriate word - then model and teach words that actually get her the help or answers she is looking for.

Answer 7

There could be a million reasons why she said that to you. But most of them, it's because she was probably upset and not getting the way she expects to be, so she will say whatever makes her happy. If you are unable to get her to be open up, you can have a family member talk to her instead. Most of them in this situation, they will tell why to other people. Once you know why she said that to you, you can apologize to her and she probably won't say it again.

Answer 8

Are there other siblings in the house younger? if so, could be just to get your attention...If you are setting rules, that could be why, but, there is a way to stop it...Sit her down, and tell her, that behavior is unacceptable and you will not have it anymore...That I don't hate you, I love you, so telling mommy that is wrong...and hurts you....If the behavior continues, that privileges will be taken away..cartoons, whatever you would consider is a privilege. If dad is in the picture, have him tell her she is not allowed to tell you that, that it hurts mommy's feelings, and have him ask her why she says that...."cause mommy won't let me do or have...", that can nip it in the butt, with age appropriate reasoning.....

Answer 9

Believe it or not, 'parenting classes' are not just for bad parents. They discuss many topics regarding children's behavior and how to appropriately respond to it, and can be found in most cities through your local non-profits and social service agencies. Don't feel ashamed to attend- knowledge is power. And finding out the best way to respond to your daughter's acting out, is the best thing you can do for yourself and for her. Good luck!

Answer 10

tell her that is not a very nice word to say tell her instead of saying hate say i am mad mommy tell her hate is a mean word and hurts people feeling really bad and say sometimes that word can make poeple cry. I am sure if you tell her this she will stop. she does says that bc she is mad and she picked that word up somewhere but if you explain that word is unexceptable and give her a new word to say instead of that one she will use it when she is mad instead of using the word hate you can even give her a silly word to say when she is upset that silly word might even calm her down when she says it.
well good luck.