The thing is i feel that he wants to have a baby. He is a gret guy, and i know he would be a wonderful father. My boyfriend is 24 and im 21, i just need some advice. Thanks!
2006-10-02 17:20:37 · 39 answers · asked by cassie05 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Seems to me that you and your boyfriend get along great if you guys have been together for 3 years and 9 months. Talk to him about having a baby. See what his out look on it is. It is up to both you and him, you both have to be ready to become full time parents.Remember tho, when having or even planning to have a baby, you have to make sure that you have the money and you guys have a place to live. Make sure you are able to get the baby what he/she needs. That is the most important thing ever.
I hope that I have helped you. And good luck on everything and God bless.
Have a great day.
2006-10-04 06:18:03 · answer #1 · answered by Christy B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully this will be as good advice to you as it was to me, from my Mother. When U r thinking of having a baby make sure U R READY to accept that responsibility solely. Nothing is guaranteed, so getting married is not going to be a sure in. Its a great way to go but just make sure U R ready for both if ur considering marriage as well. The hardest 2 jobs U will ever have in life is being a wife and a mother, they both take a lot of work and are not jobs that go from 8-5. Right now when U eat, your whole family has eaten. When a lil person comes along you have to make sure on those mornings when you dont feel like getting out of the bed right then, that you get up and fix that baby something to eat. They rely on you for EVERYTHING. A baby changes EVERYTHING!! you have to be ready for that change, and I mean everything. At 21 there is so much you can still get accomplished and places you can see. Try to do as much as possible for U, before U bring a little person in the pic, so when you do have a baby you can feel like wow, this is the only thing that I am missing. I am 37, been married 6 yrs with my husband for 7, with a 2 yr old and ready to deliver my 2nd and last in Nov. I have done so many things in my life that I have no regrets now that my baby is here and another is on the way. I am not saying you have to wait until U r 35 to have ur first like I did its different for everyone, just make sure U r ready for that job. I hope this will help. Good luck and remember marriage doesnt guarantee anything. The baby will be yours no matter what.
2006-10-02 17:40:11 · answer #2 · answered by Teddie Gramz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A child binds you to a person for life. Even if you never marry, you still have that child between you. Also a child is almost always more work for a woman than a man. Even in the most perfect of situations. And it WILL change your life. Before having a baby ask a friend if you can babysit for a weekend. Then you will get just a small taste of how committed he will be to helping you raise that child. If he doesn't change the diapers now. He won't if it's his either. Same with getting up and feeding in the middle of the night and all of the other million things that go into caring for someone totally dependent upon you.
Also step back and realistically look to see if you could support a child if he were to get up and walk out on you. Would you be able to raise that child? Could you afford daycare/ formula/ diapers/ clothing? What happens if your child is sick who would stay home to take care of them?
These are all questions you need to seriously sit down and talk frankly about with your boyfriend. Because it takes two to tango. And the dance doesn't always end up like you want it to.
2006-10-02 17:47:24 · answer #3 · answered by kholbee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing seals the deal! You can be married for 10 years have your first baby and get a divorce within a year. You need to know what his intentions are first. You need to ask each other the right questions before you make a commitment like a baby. Babies/Children deserve to have both of their parents in the same house hold. There are books available that can help you ask each other the right questions. See link below. Don't lie to him or your self, A baby deserve parents that have better intentions then just bringing it into the world. Parenting is the MOST difficult thing you will ever do in your life time. So be sure this is what YOU want TOO. I think if you are not ready to get married then you are not ready to have a baby.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780310492405&itm=12
2006-10-02 17:51:35 · answer #4 · answered by larechiga26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're at that age. It's a great age to be a parent. I gave birth at 22 and was with my boy friend, now fiance, for 5 years at that point. Now we've been together for 8 years and are the proud parents of a beautiful, and wonderful little 3 year old girl. It's scary as hell, but definitely worth it. If you're real serious about this guy, and you think he'd be a great dad, don't hold back. It's rare you find a man like that who wants to take charge like that. And don't worry about the financial part, unless you're really not well off. No one is ever really ready for it financially or emotionally or any thing. It's all a huge gamble. You could have all the money in the world one day and something could happen the next. Don't worry about that stuff. Oh and about the marrage part, I don't know how strongly I can stress this. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE A HEALTHY AND HAPPY FAMILY! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO BE GOOD LOVING PARENTS. There are a lot of people out there that are a lot better off not married.
Good luck
2006-10-02 17:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by lillibellemichele 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Having a baby is a huge life changing experience. It is VERY important that the BOTH of you feel the same way about it! If you are not 100% ready yet, then bye all means wait until you are!! It will only make the experience, your life as u now live it, but more importantly the quality of life for the new baby and family all the better... Seriously, having a kid (especially when you are young) is a HUGE deal!! But i must say it is also a HUGE blessing! Good luck in what ever you decide to do!
2006-10-02 17:28:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well remember he can be ready all he wants, it depends on if you are BOTH ready. You are both adults, but I would definitely think about it before you decide to have a child. Having a child is a big commitment. You guys need to be sure that all will be well with your relationship down the road. I only mention this because you have been dating that long and not married yet, not that there is anything wrong with that, but if you don't feel comfortable committing to marriage yet, how can you be comfortable committing yourselves to a child? A marriage you can get out of if something goes wrong, no one hurt but yourself. A child would be torn between the two parents if something should happen. I don't know if it is coming out right. What I am trying to say is just be sure of your relationship before commiting to a child. Also, if he is ready but you are not, DON'T. Don't let him pressure you into having a child. YOU are the one who has to carry and give birth to the child, not him. Don't let him pressuring you make you decide on something you are not willing to commit your life to, literally. Best of luck to both of you! :) Also, don't pay too much attention to those people saying to wait another 5 years or so so that you can enjoy your life. On the contrary, a child brings much joy to your life and your life does not stop being enjoyable because you have a child. I have two children and had my first at 21 and am enjoying my life to the fullest. You CAN have children and still enjoy your life.
2006-10-02 17:27:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi there - You know what hun, why dont you and your boyfriend speak about getting married first sothat if you do decide to have a baby, you can raise him or her the right way. Enjoy married life a little, get to know eachother, there is always time for a baby - not so? Why the rush.....Never feel pressured into having a child if you arent ready - and if you arent, tell your boyfriend. If he is as great as you say he is, then he is going to stick around and wait until you are ready! Best of luck hun xx
2006-10-02 20:32:54 · answer #8 · answered by Chez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you want to have a baby? do you have it in you to be totally selfless? do you want to embark on the biggest rollercoaster ride of your life? a fantastic one at times and sometimes not so. i'm sure you know this already but becoming a mother is so much more than what people tell you its like. good and bad days, ups and downs.....all the time. are you prone to depression? if so having a baby is a lot of pressure and can bring all your problems to the surface. but then again once you have that gorgeous little baby you'd do anything for, everything just fits. your will to go on and be a good mum prevails. what ever decision you make, it'll be the right one. good luck! :)
2006-10-02 17:30:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he asked you to get married that should be the first step. A baby is a huge change in a relationship & you will want to know that he is totally commited. Too many couples Ive know have been together 5 + yaers have a baby and split less than 1 year later.
2006-10-02 17:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋