2006-10-02 17:18:15 · 9 answers · asked by sadiesamkurby 2 in Beauty & Style ➔ Hair
its rude but any way its funny!
ok theres a blonde driving a red car and shes speeding along the high way. a cop pulls her over and says did u know u were spedding? the blonde dosent reply so the cop askes 4 her drivers licence and she said whats that? the cop said its a card that tells me ur name and gives u a right to drive a car to she passes it him.
then the cop asked 4 her car rego and she said wats that he said its a peice of paper telling me about ur can so she passes him the paper.
the cop ( cop 1 ) walks over to his car and calls another cop ( cop.2 ) up on his radio and said he pull over a chick in a red car. cop 2 said is she blonde? cop 1 said yes and cop 2 said well walk over to the can and drop ur pants.cop 1 said buts that inapropiate.
but anyway cop 1 ends up walking over to the bonde and droped his pants and guess what the blonde said?????
ohhhh no not another breath aliser!!!!!!!lol
but wait i have another 1
a blonde walks into a pub carring a box saying 33 days! over and over again
time whent on and more and more blonde came over and started say 33 days. untill a guy in the pub walked over to the blonde that started it and said why do u keep saying 33 days? the blonde replys with well..... and she pulls the top of the box off and in side was a jigsaw.... i did this puzzel in 33 days and it says for 3 yrs and over......ha...ha....ha
and another one
thers 3 gurls on a desrrted island they were all blondes
they found a bottlel on the beach and rubed it until a juine came out. he said he could grant them 3 wishes so that meant 1 wish each. the 1st blonde said she wanted to become smart so she could find away off the island so the juine turned her into a red head and she started to swim but got eaten by a shark.
the secound blonde said she wanted to be smarter than the 1st one so the junie turned her into a brunett and she bulit a raft .....but it sunk!
the last blonde said she wanted to be smarter than both of them so the juine turned her into.......
a man!!
2006-10-02 17:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Gag 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JOKE 1:
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
JOKE 2:
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
JOKE 3:
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
JOKE 4:
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
JOKE 5:
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.
The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.
She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
2006-10-02 17:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by Zainab K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little **** on your knee."
2006-10-02 18:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some blonde girls were on their way to Disneyland. The came to a fork in the road where the sign read, "Disneyland left." So they went home.
2006-10-02 18:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by Abigail S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you hear about the 2 blondes who were going to Disneyland? as they were driving they came to a sign that said; Disneyland Left. they turned around and went home!
2006-10-02 17:52:56 · answer #5 · answered by Lover of my soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: anyone know how many blonde jokes there are?
A: just one. all the rest are true.
2006-10-02 18:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by moehawk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde girl was traveling coach on a flight to LA, and stands up and goes to sit in first class.
The flight attendant walks up to her and tells her to please go back to her seat.
The blonde responds "Im young, blonde and fabulous and i'll stay here"
The flight attendant calls another attendant which asks the blonde to please go back to her seat since she only payed for coach.
The blonde responds "Im young, blonde and fabulous and i'll stay here"
The flight attendants request help from the capitan. The capitan says, my wife is blonde, I speak blonde, i'll take care of it.
The captain walks up to the blonde and whispers in her ear.
The blonde stands up and walks back to her seat.
The flight attendants are astonished and ask the captain what is it that he said.
The captain replies "I told her first class didn't go to LA"
2006-10-02 17:55:58 · answer #7 · answered by BeachGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are ten blondes standing side by side?
A wind tunnel!
2006-10-02 19:32:21 · answer #8 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right that's a riddle: If u have a cellular then its final digit multiply it via 2, +5, multiply it by50, +your age, +365, -615, THE final 2 NUMBERS IS YOUR AGE AND the 1st quantity IS YOUR cellular'S final DIGIT And right that's a comedian tale for you: Julie, the blonde, became into getting distinctly desperate for funds. She desperate to bypass to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around city and seem for atypical jobs as a attainable female. the 1st homestead she got here to, a guy responded the door and advised Julie,"Yeah, I also have a job for you. How could you want to color the porch?" "beneficial that sounds large!" stated Julie. "properly, how a lot do you elect me to pay you?" asked the guy. "Is fifty greenbacks all precise?" Julie asked. "Yeah, large. you will discover the paint and ladders you will want interior the storage." the guy went decrease back into his homestead to his spouse who have been listening. "Fifty greenbacks! Does she recognize the porch is going each and each of ways around the homestead?" asked the spouse. "properly, she could, she became into status precise on it!" her husband responded. approximately 40 5 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "i'm all complete," she advised the shocked house proprietor. the guy became into surprised. "You painted the entire porch?" "Yeah," Julie responded, "I even had some paint left, so I placed on 2 coats!" the guy reached into his wallet to pay Julie. "Oh, and via ways," stated Julie, "that isn't a Porch, that is a Ferrari." desire you like it!!
2016-12-26 08:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋