How many times a day do you put your 2-year-old into time-out?

Question

So how often, is it working, does it get better, or is this all for nothing??

Mostly, he's telling me *no* when I ask/tell him to do something, or tell him he can't have something. Also for screaming and consistently whining. I think it has something to do with him adjusting to moving and a new baby at the same time, but I just don't have the time I used to. I can't give in when he whines (even if I think he feels like I'm not giving him enough attention) or he'll learn that whining is the golden ticket. But he's in the corner so often, he might as well get his mail there.

Answer 1

I've put her in time out since she was 18 months old.. but back then I just had to have her sit on the floor. For things like... yelling, hitting, throwing. Now at almost 3... all I have to do is say time out and she stops whining, crying etc. If she doesnt stop... she'll walk to the corner on her own. (he he).

As far as how often.. as often as necessary. Rule in my house... no one stand up until told to and no one is told to until they stop crying.

btw... we don't spank or yell in our home... only this.

Answer 2

Sounds like he is trying to get a reaction and due the adjustments just needs some attention. Try to give him a fun project or an activity that will distract him.

I never went straight to time outs with mine....I would count to three (sometimes slower than others) and warned and threatened not to let mommy get to 3.

My daughter still has only gotten to 2 (well 2 and 9/10ths sometimes) but dreads whatever is at the end of 3 so much that finally she will behave out of pure fear of what 3 will do.

I only spanked her maybe 4 times (even during this 2-3 yr old nightmare age)

Try to redirect him and try a new approach or tone when dealing with him, make whatever you are asking seem like fun...I know you don't think you have time to stoop to this level and just want results, but extra love will go a long way...

Answer 3

Time outs do not work. They are a way for you to control your son but not a way for him to learn self control. They only cause resentment, shame, and anger. You poor boy is feeling powerless. He was the center of your world for 2 years and now he has to share mommy and has moved. His world has been turned upside down! Do the best you can to make sure you take time everyday to show you're love. When baby is sleeping, read him a story, do an art project (make a Froot Loop necklace), and things that show he is the "big boy" (he can help mommy make dinner, help with the baby...getting a diaper, let him pick out baby's outfit...)

Instead of using time outs try this. As soon as he misbehaves, get down to his level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take him gently by the hand and put him in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (control yourself, stop hitting, listen, behave, calm down) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling him). He returns when he's ready to control himself. You may have to take him back to the spot a few times before he gets the message. Thank him when she behaves. Keep it up!

Empathize with him. Say things like “I can tell that you are feeling very (angry, upset, hurt, mad, frustrated). What can we do about that?” It will help him to better express himself.

Notice him when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help him to feel powerful in a positive way.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Pick your battles! Say "Yes" as much as possible. Pick you battles! Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 4

It is mostly the age. He is testing his boundaries. Sometimes when I say no to my son, I change my mind after one or two protests from him because I realize it is not really something that I want to fight about. I think that is okay as long as when you do decide to stick with it you follow it through. My son doesn't really tell me "no", and if he did, I read somewhere that boys need physical contact with verbal cues... So I gently hold his hand or arm and get down at his level and ask him again. He usually complies. If he doesn't, then I try to help him in the appropriate situation (like cleaning up his toys with him or telling him where things go). Finally, if he is just plain being rude to me or hurting me or the baby, or playing with a toy at an inappropriate time, or getting down from the dinner table before he asks to be excused, I use 1...2...3... and then straight to time out. I probably use time out 3-4 times a week.

Answer 5

A 2 yr old doesnt understand the concept of time out yet. So your fighting an uphill battle. Really the only thing you can do with a 2 yr old when they're misbahving is tell him to stop it redirect him into doing something else and a little smack on the bottom gets his attention too.

Answer 6

I had 5 children (all grown) and never used time out on one that young (Under 4 or 5 I found it ineffective) I don't know what type of behavior you're addressing but redirection works well on 2 year olds. So does a swift spat (one only on rump) to address a safety issue (his or others). It does get better and if your using less than 100 time out a day your OK! good luck

Answer 7

Okay, if you've just moved and have a new baby, you need to give this 2year old some leeway, not time-outs. I know we think that if you give in to whining it will never stop, but there are different ways to 'give in'. Perhaps you could listen to him more and be more accommodating. Try to realise that he could be very, very stressed at the moment and try to imagine yourself in his situation. I am a very strict mother but at times you have to check that your strictness is appropriate. It sounds like your boy needs more cuddles, more tolerance, more relaxation and less time-out. I hope this helps.

Answer 8

maybe one time a week. and it gets better the older they get and can realize why they are there. They are little and pretty much they way the see it is they wanted something they didnt get and have to just sit there for awhile. They don't normally know they did anything wrong at that age.

Answer 9

i dont think you should use time outs so much cause that will make him feel that you dont love her..when he act bad take him to a peacefull place and than tell him very polietly that its very bad to do so and its wrong to act like that if you will tell him with all of your heart and gonna love him im sure he will stop doing what hes doing....and some people have suggested you to smack him and please never ever ever do that that will make him wild and angry 2 yr old are innocent and yes they understand time outs..i think your son is doing it to get your attension play with him for 1 hour a day and hug him and all that he will be fine..

Answer 10

i only put my two year old in timeout maybe once a month and time out is the crib he knows if i say ur gonna go to bed he stops what hes goin but we did that a couple times a day for awhile he would jsut cry and cry and i would make him stop crying before he could come out, he didnt like it so now thats all i have to say and he stops what hes doin!!!